thanks, everyone.
There's so much more...peace...now than before. I'm still flawed, a sinner saved by grace, but...I'm not unrepentant and obviously (I mean...OBVIOUSLY) wretched. I care about my people, they care about me, they are kind to me despite all my flaws and sin patterns, and...
...well, its a good thing. Nobody should be stuck with a zombie-fied, "too much electroshock" semi-vegetable of a son. No, no, no. I always thought of it in terms of Me...I'm now healthy, I'm now smart, look what I can do!!!! Now, I'm thinking more in terms of other people, too. My parents need a son who can function reasonably well, who can love them and appreciate them and add good things to their lives, not subtract every good thing from their lives. So, Jesus changed me as much for my people as for me...that's my best guess, anyway (clearly, I don't have a direct line to the mind of God. I'm just guessin here).
My mother and father want me to move forward. I need to move forward. Thanks to Christ, I'm able, much more able than before, to move forward. I'm not ridiculously self-centered, ubearably prideful+filled w/ self-love. I'm a flawed Born Again Christian, a new creation in Christ Jesus, and that's...huge. Just getting me to believe upon Christ required something of a miracle. I think I was more bent away from Christ than most people. Who knows why...doesn't really matter...I'm not now, that does matter.
But, yeah...my parents. Good people. I do wish they'd drink less. I think they'll cut down after retirement. Good thing about being a dedicated, long term state employee: retirement is (I think) fairly comfy. They have their awesome house, too....20+ years of hard work poured into a major fixer upper has paid off big time. When they bought it, the older widow who lived here had only been using 2 or 3 rooms downstairs. There was shag carpeting all over (hideous...especially in a 19th century farm house), the upstairs had to be renovated, the wiring had to be brought up to code, etc. etc. Now...
...they have little gardens all over, birds all over, they've planted trees and flowers and shrubs and...the interior is awesome. Its their refuge (and mine, too).
I'm rambling. Point is...my parents are wonderful people, but its like the program manager at Teen Challenge said during one chapel service: There's gonna be an awful lot of good people in Hell. I --obviously-- needed Jesus before, and now I'm learning to cling to Him everyday. Praise Him in good times, praise Him in rough times...that's how Christians roll.
But, yeah...they were both raised Calvinist, my mom Presbyterian and my dad some kind of Dutch immigrant Calvinism. My mom was briefly a PCUSA elder. My dad's not real big on Calvinism now, so he's popping to an SBC megachurch now and then. Thing is...Calvinism doesn't save anybody. Jesus does. I'm not saying they're not saved, cuz I'm learning that I really am the last person who should even attempt to make that call, but I am saying that one can cling to knowledge --of-- Christ for any number of reasons...intellectual appeal (especially true of Calvinism, I think), emotional/psychological reasons, social reasons, etc...without actually coming to --know-- Christ. I mean, I was there before I got genuinely saved and began an actual walk with The Lord.
I've rambled, lol. Point is...good people need Jesus, too, and I think its harder to get to know Christ when you're well-educated, white collar, make decent monies, and are well-respected. Even back during Jesus' original ministry, it was often the rejects who became the most solidly faithful.
So, yeah...keep on prayin', lol. I get the sense they know all about The Lord, at least thru a Calvinist lens...I just pray that they'll to know Him on a personal level, in their heart of hearts.
