Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,239
- 10,721
Me, yet again. OK. I"m blessed beyond measure. 10 years ago, I was dying of cancer or AIDS or something (its all kind of a haze). I was bashed on the head with a pipe, raped, and then put in a mental hospital, where I was given shock treatments and a lobotomy (yes...I promise you...they're still doing those...to me, at least, lol). I had a 95-105 IQ, plus...yeah. It was party over, basically.
I got saved by a miracle 5 years ago. I"m now surprisingly healthy, "High(er)" IQ estimate, reconciled to my parents, new personality, no drugs, no drink, pursuing celibacy (cuz im not into the ladies, lol), and...yeah. IQ estimates aren't all that important, but I can now handle advanced material, I write well, etc., so...God is good!
I just don't know where to go from here. My parents are kind to me, they "have money," as the locals say, and they let me live with them. I even have a decent, reliable, pretty used car to drive. I receive disability, which pays for treatment (Praise God!). And...
well, now I'm 33. Not old, not in wild, naive, volatoile youth, either. I think its a good age...probably because I am this age, whether I like it or not, lol.
Being a "mental patient" in most modern societies is not usually "fun," at all. I have a friend, her mom's a "mental patient," and she's basically retreated into her own little world. The "Experts" will say its "the illness," blah blah blah; I think...
whatever "mental illness" really is, most societies just make it worse. If you're a poor "mental patient," expect oppression, heavy drugging, all kinds of stuff. In my case, I'm definitely not a member of this community, a non-entity. Its..strange, sometimes....things seem oddly dream-like, surreal, even, because...I've lived here most of my life, but no one talks -to- or -with- me. No one, except my parents. People yell stuff, taunt me, etc., which I'm getting over (what choice do I have?), but...I don't get to have conversations -with- anyone. Seen, but not heard, basically. Could be -terrible-. This isn't terrible, its just...well, its what I have to work with, starting point (Point A, if you will).
I ask that those of you who keep my family and me (and Verna) up in prayer will pray the The Lord will guide me, and soften my heart so I can and will be guided, more readily. Jesus died -for me-, I get that, but that doesn't mean that I get to live "The American Dream," does it? Somehow, I seriously doubt I'll ever find myself in a house with a cheerful, blonde wife, 2.5 children and a dog in the backyard. That's the way the cookie crumbles, lol.
But there must be...something...for me to do, right? Right. I hope and pray so. Honestly, I think so, too.
Thanks.
I got saved by a miracle 5 years ago. I"m now surprisingly healthy, "High(er)" IQ estimate, reconciled to my parents, new personality, no drugs, no drink, pursuing celibacy (cuz im not into the ladies, lol), and...yeah. IQ estimates aren't all that important, but I can now handle advanced material, I write well, etc., so...God is good!
I just don't know where to go from here. My parents are kind to me, they "have money," as the locals say, and they let me live with them. I even have a decent, reliable, pretty used car to drive. I receive disability, which pays for treatment (Praise God!). And...
well, now I'm 33. Not old, not in wild, naive, volatoile youth, either. I think its a good age...probably because I am this age, whether I like it or not, lol.
Being a "mental patient" in most modern societies is not usually "fun," at all. I have a friend, her mom's a "mental patient," and she's basically retreated into her own little world. The "Experts" will say its "the illness," blah blah blah; I think...
whatever "mental illness" really is, most societies just make it worse. If you're a poor "mental patient," expect oppression, heavy drugging, all kinds of stuff. In my case, I'm definitely not a member of this community, a non-entity. Its..strange, sometimes....things seem oddly dream-like, surreal, even, because...I've lived here most of my life, but no one talks -to- or -with- me. No one, except my parents. People yell stuff, taunt me, etc., which I'm getting over (what choice do I have?), but...I don't get to have conversations -with- anyone. Seen, but not heard, basically. Could be -terrible-. This isn't terrible, its just...well, its what I have to work with, starting point (Point A, if you will).
I ask that those of you who keep my family and me (and Verna) up in prayer will pray the The Lord will guide me, and soften my heart so I can and will be guided, more readily. Jesus died -for me-, I get that, but that doesn't mean that I get to live "The American Dream," does it? Somehow, I seriously doubt I'll ever find myself in a house with a cheerful, blonde wife, 2.5 children and a dog in the backyard. That's the way the cookie crumbles, lol.
But there must be...something...for me to do, right? Right. I hope and pray so. Honestly, I think so, too.
Thanks.
