IloveGodAlways
Member
I am married 2 a man who initially REFUSED to allow me 2 have any male friends. Before I met him I had male friends I grew up with and knew from the range of 15-28 years. Some of these friends helped me through the deaths of my brother, mother, and grandmothers. They were there for me while I reared my son as a single mom. Since my brother had died, they were surrogate Uncles to my son. My husband didn't care about any of that. He felt that I shouldn't have any male friends. He even threatened our marriage. I asked him what was I supposed to say, "Hey, I know we've known each other all our lives, but sorry Im married now. It's been nice knowing you." He said that I should. I thought he was being EXTREMELY unreasonable. Our marriage went through many ups & downs bc of his views on issues like this. He stated that my son couldn't have male company over until the weekend when he was home. If they came over after school, I was to stop them @ the door. He even accused me of having sex w/my own blood son bc he said that we made him think it by the way we were acting. He said that 1 day when I was wrapping gifts 4 our daughter's 1st birthday, he heard "bumping & running" when he came downstairs. He said that we acted like we had been having sex & were running when he came. He accused me again a couple of years later. 1 day my son was sitting in my office. His friend was allowed over (bc my husband was home). I went n2 my office 4 something & my husband questioned why we were alone. He has stated that when he has come home from work, he "saw shadows" in the curtains. If he would come home & I had taken a bath, he would insinuate that my son & I had been doing something sexual. Needless 2 say, this super-strained our relationship, as well as my relationship w/my son. Bc he has accused me of such vile, disgusting, horrible, sinful, sick behavior, I grew 2 resent him & regret marrying him. Trying hard not 2 divorce, I didn't leave. Besides, I had 3 small babies & was a stay@home mom/Homeschooler. I had gone back 2 school 2 obtain another degree but he put an end 2 that when he would arbitrarily leave out of the house knowing I had 2 go 2 school or take an exam. He knew when we met that I was passionate abt going back 2 school & he took that away. My son & I had always been super close. B4 I met my husband, it was just my son & me for nearly 12 years. I struggled to rear him on my own (& w/the help of God). He had a father figure but bc he wasn't my son's biological father, I had to put that 2 a stop (bc of my husband). Bc my husband had a female friend contact him, he now has stated that it it ok 2 have friend of the opposite sex. He has throughout, had female friends he works with. He has gone 2 a female friend's party @ her home. He goes 2 breakfast & shopping on his lunch break w/1 of his female cowrkers. He has shown a pic of him hugged up w/a female friend from his past (a pic that wud make some1 think they had been dating--not a general arm around the shoulder hug, an arm around her LOWER waist hug). He has even shown this pic around 2 his male coworkers. He called 1 of his friends a few years ago over 100 (not kidding) times in 1 week. He had another friend who'd get upset if she called & we were n the middle of talking. Ive been accused of having sex w/my nephew & cousin. Inf fact Ive been accused of having sex/inappropriate relationships w/women I was close 2--women who, like me, were God-fearing, God-loving moral women. He now has told me that I need 2 let my friend kno that he isn't welcome here. We both agreed that if his "friend" on the pic he shows off were 2 come 2 town, I'd love 2 meet her. We agreed that my friend would NEVER come over UNLESS my husband were here. Now, when he says he wants 2 interact w/my husband, there is another problem w/it. I can't stand his craziness. He even gets upset if I text my son while Im n bed. It doesn't matter that we might be watching a game or doing something casual, he gets upset. Yet when he comes home, he can get on FaceBook. He uses my laptop everyday. He has been leaving my laptop in the trunk lately. When I asked him not 2 leave it n the car (n case some1 breaks n), he had a prob w/it. He always seemed 2 have this feeling that bc he's out n the workforce, he can do whatever. Because Im home w/the kids, there is a diff set of rules. B4 he left he stated that "There had better not be any man who comes over here!" I told him that no man ever comes over here. I have NEVER had a man come over here. He told me that family (my stepbrother, cousin, etc) can't even come 2 the house. He just called & stated, "If any man comes to that house, he'd better be prepared 2 buy u 1!!!" I thank God that He is my strength. I will continue 2 praise Him despite any ordeal.
(I never think of sneaky things like that. Haha.) Since you bring up the point that he may be monitoring her, then she also may want to clear her browser when she closes out of the internet. Otherwise he could track her history to this forum and to her post.
I told him that he treats me like those names he calls me. The day was pretty quiet after a rocky start of him calling & leavg a msg where the children cud hear. I asked him not 2 do that--he's done it many x b4. He called l8r this afternoon ranting :rant abt how I let "all these different men" do this&that 2me. He asked me how I cud b so "dirty" & treat such a good man the way I do. Im a woman of God. I have remained faithful. My life is taking care of my children & homeschooling them & rearing them 2 know God. I barely get a moment 2 myself, let alone, time 4 an affair. He won't even let me use the car when I tell him I want 2 drop him off so I can take the kids 2 the museum, park or other outing or simply run errands. I desperately want out. Im tired of my kids c n me beat down emotionally. Even when I ask him not 2 call & expose the babies 2 this madness, he does it NEway. It will b scary, but after 10 yrs if this is where it is & it has gotten no better, what's the point n wasting the rest of my life or risk him telling me when I'm 50 or 60 or 70 2 "find some1 else 2 buy u a house!" NEtime he allows his issues 2 creep up, I become (in his eyes) a dirty, sneaky, low down woman. I NEVER go NEwhere! I homeschool all day. How can I be sneaky. I used 2 b able 2 go 2 the beauty salon every now & then. Don't let the stylist be booked/overbooked/backed up/super busy! I get a lecture or the accusations start. :mad If he calls while I'm being shampooed or having my hair blown dry/styled, he will call back2back & lv msgs how he "thinks it's so unfair" that he I am not keeping n contact w/him. "A husband shoud always b able 2 reach his wife." I can drive home on cloud 9, feeling good about how my hair looks & that I got the opp 2 get a little "me" time. As soon as I hit the front door...he zaps the life out of me. He will look angry, give me the silent treatment or make some type of snide comment. No 1 shud have 2 suffer like this. He feels that bc he Pays the bills that he does SO much 4 me & I shud b happy. I used 2 b so active n the community. I've always wanted 2 return 2 volunteering. He has questioned that, telling me that I don't have time 2 volunteer. "I don't think ur gonna b volunteering. U have a family." I want 2 do God's work & His will. I pray He will give me the means REALLY SOON 2 b financially independent & able 2 rear my children in a peaceful environment. Like NE loving father wud feel towards his daughter, I don't think my Father God wud want me 2 b treated this way. 
It's emotionally & now physically draining. Thank u again 4 yor prayers. :help