r my parents going to far?

[Fuzzy]

My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

 

[Sean]

Has it always been this way, or did it change recently? I'm curious as to if you did something to make them search your chats and whatnot. In my family, if you have a problem with something, you maturely bring it up. Show them that your trustworthy. Prove it to them.

 

[Confusion]

Reading your mail and sorting some of your things would be... somewhat alright... though listening to your phone calls and trying to get information about you in chat rooms... is getting a little insane...

You could try dropping hints about disliking it if you don't want to tell them...
Like if they go through your stuff... say you had a big homework assignment on your desk and someone appeared to move it...
Or if you hear them on the phone, just begin with "Mom/Dad, I got it, you can hang up now..." Repeat till they do...
The chat room thing... well... that's just a little out their...

or you could just flat out tell them if they want to know what you are doing, they can just ask, not try and snoop around

 

[Ryu]

My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

You should be thankful to have such good parents. They are watching you and making sure you are not engaging in immoral behavior. If more parents watched their kids we would not have as many juvenile delinquents. When you get older I think your parents will ease up.

 

[Fuzzy]

Sean:
Started like a month ago. I cant think of anything I've done to make them act this way. I'm trying to prove I'm trustworthy but they are sorta narrow minded.

Confusion:
I'll try doing hinting and stuff.

Ryu:
When the only privacy I have is inside my mind then it seems like it would cause juvenile delinquentcy because I just want to get away from them half the time.
I hope they ease up when I get older. Im getting a learners permit soon, seems like thats old enough to me.

 

[Mordecai]

so fuzzy, I'm guessing you're around 15? I think you should just ask them about it. I can't think of anything bad that can come from asking. If you've done something wrong and had no clue about it, asking them would bring it out in the open. If you haven't done anything then you could ask them to stop, or to take it down a notch. I remember when my parents were always checking in on me, it bothered the fool out of me. But two good things came of it, I learned to watch what I do, because I didn't want to do anything that would get me in trouble (and since I became a Christian that has really helped me a lot) and I also learned to communicate with my parents and really talk to them, the more I tell them the less they check up on me.

 

[Julian Pyke]

You seem to be in the predicament I'm in, but just the opposite. My mother and father divorced when I was young. I grew up with my hell raising mother (harsh, I know, but you will see...)

She don't trust me, started when I was a teen. She seems to think that all teens are evil. She never reads any of my stuff, because, well, she is NEVER HOME. But I obey her. All I do on the computer is school, I don't talk to my friends on my phone, only on my cell phone. But it was like that once. Anyway, she, literally, is neverhome. I have raised myself. Most would think im on drugs because i had no parents, btu when I was young she taught me don't do drugs, have premarital sex, or drink. And it's stuck with me. But other then that, I raised myself. Now, at least you are allowed to have friends. My mother, if she don't choose my friends, then they aren't my friends acording to her.

All the friends she forces me to be with, aren't even my friends, they are "People who go to church." Well guess what, these are those teens hwo think they are better then everyone else and are little snobs. Anyway, any friend I pick is never good enough. So, I don't get to have alot of friends, and yes, I lie, to hang out with them. She wants to meet them, but she never has, won't come home to.

I can't go out without her tagging along. I can't go to the mall because, "Do you know how many teenagers get preganant by going to the mall to hangout?"

Well MOTHER, I am a guy, and I won't get pregnant, and im not gonna have sex!

I can't do anything outside of the house without her tagging along, UNLESS there is a adult she knows thats there too. So, half the time I leave and say its something to do with sports that I play, when it's not. Yes, I know its horrible to lie, but she is never home, won't let me grow up, and if I didn't have friends I would literally go mad.

However, since my mother is not my mother figure, my pastor's wife is, as well as my pastor my father figure. I have known them all my life, before they became pastors. They are my moms best friend, and so I have a wierd relationship with them. I tell them everything, literally. And I'm sure they tell my mom stuff, but the stuff I ask them nto to tell, they don't, because, it's private, and they know they are basically my parents. I only see them every day.

Here is how I would deal with the situation: Sit them down at the dinner table, and have a serious talk. Don't let them interrupt you. And pray to God that they will open their ears and hear what you have to say.

 

[Godslove1603]

I think the biggest thing you can do is prove to them that you are trustworthy by not writing or saying or doing anything that they wouldn't approve of. Maybe after a while they will see that they have nothing to worry about and will leave you alone.
If it is really bothering you, try talking to them, calmly, about it. Explain in a non-argumentative tone that you dont understand why they wont give you privacy. I'm sure they will be happy to at least explain it to you, even if they don't stop. Then you will know for sure what you have to prove to them.
I understand why that could be frustrating...even though I am 18 I still live in my parents house and therefore I am subject to the same thing. When I was younger it was much worse, but I showed them that I wouldn't do anything bad and they began to trust me. I'm sure they will do the same for you :D
The worst thing you could do at this point would be to try and hide something from them, because if they do find something, they will think "see, I did have reason to be nosey". Also, pray to God for help. Maybe he will show you that your parents are only trying to look after your best interest, or he will show your parents that you are, in fact, a trust worthy person.
Hope it helps!

 

[jess321]

"those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing"
-the great DR.PHIL

 

[Nostalgic Dawn]

Wow, I can't even imagine how you must feel, but I imagine terrible. Your parents are going overboard, and this can be unhealthy:

If they are always telling you want to do and monitoring everything you do, that will give you little to no chance to mess up and make a stupid mistake; wheither it be online or otherwise.

If you don't make mistakes, your mental growth will be stunted. You need to learn to make your own decisions in accordance with God's will. How did anyone ever get closer to God through doing everything out of fear?

Respect your parents, sure, but keep in mind respect doesn't equate with blind obedience.

I would use the computer at school or in the library, or start saving all my files to disk and hide the disk. Also you can delete the cookies and history after you use the internet.

About your parent's income; I don't see why that's important for you to know. I never knew mine. I guess it's kind of a private thing.

 

[rover]

YES THEY ARE GOING TOO FAR
you should talk to them about it, i find that very unfair. They should not snoop into other peopels business, you need privacy! If i was in your situation i would be very offended cause i take this as a sign that they dont trust me. My advice: talk to your paretns about it, tell them (gently) that you want privacy and pray about it! Also if that doesnt work out then deal with it...theres nothing much you can do if your up against strict parents, trust me i know how that feels.

 

[Guest]

My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

 

[Solo]

My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

And when they kick you out of their house, and you get set up in your own house independently paying your own bills, you can listen to whoever is using your phone. Until then use THEIR phone respectfully.

 

[Guest]

My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

And when they kick you out of their house, and you get set up in your own house independently paying your own bills, you can listen to whoever is using your phone. Until then use THEIR phone respectfully.

your parents do not have the right to rule your life, at the very least, you should try to speak to them.

 

[Solo]

My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

And when they kick you out of their house, and you get set up in your own house independently paying your own bills, you can listen to whoever is using your phone. Until then use THEIR phone respectfully.

your parents do not have the right to rule your life, at the very least, you should try to speak to them.

If you don't want your parents to rule your life, then move out, but remember what God thinks about the matter. I would take God's word over kinggambits word. He seems a little off in his biblical understanding.

Eph 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Col 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

 

[Guest]

My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

And when they kick you out of their house, and you get set up in your own house independently paying your own bills, you can listen to whoever is using your phone. Until then use THEIR phone respectfully.

your parents do not have the right to rule your life, at the very least, you should try to speak to them.

If you don't want your parents to rule your life, then move out, but remember what God thinks about the matter. I would take God's word over kinggambits word. He seems a little off in his biblical understanding.

Eph 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Col 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

doing something as extreme as moving out would not solve the problems you are having with your parents, and that is why you need to confront them on these issues.

 

[Solo]

[quote="Fuzzy":05092]My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

And when they kick you out of their house, and you get set up in your own house independently paying your own bills, you can listen to whoever is using your phone. Until then use THEIR phone respectfully.

your parents do not have the right to rule your life, at the very least, you should try to speak to them.

If you don't want your parents to rule your life, then move out, but remember what God thinks about the matter. I would take God's word over kinggambits word. He seems a little off in his biblical understanding.

Eph 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Col 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

doing something as extreme as moving out would not solve the problems you are having with your parents, and that is why you need to confront them on these issues.[/quote:05092]
The home is the parents home and they are the ones in charge of the home. If the children do not like the rules, then they should move somewhere where they can create their own rules. It won't take long before they realize how stupid they were to have left the safety and love of their parents home. I don't expect for you to understand because you are still too young to understand. Perhaps after you are older and have children, then you will realize the importance of obedience as a child.

 

[Guest]

[quote="kinggambits":f9080][quote="Fuzzy":f9080]My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

And when they kick you out of their house, and you get set up in your own house independently paying your own bills, you can listen to whoever is using your phone. Until then use THEIR phone respectfully.

your parents do not have the right to rule your life, at the very least, you should try to speak to them.

If you don't want your parents to rule your life, then move out, but remember what God thinks about the matter. I would take God's word over kinggambits word. He seems a little off in his biblical understanding.

Eph 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Col 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

doing something as extreme as moving out would not solve the problems you are having with your parents, and that is why you need to confront them on these issues.[/quote:f9080]
The home is the parents home and they are the ones in charge of the home. If the children do not like the rules, then they should move somewhere where they can create their own rules. It won't take long before they realize how stupid they were to have left the safety and love of their parents home. I don't expect for you to understand because you are still too young to understand. Perhaps after you are older and have children, then you will realize the importance of obedience as a child.[/quote:f9080]a child needs to have a say in what happens to them, at least letting the parents what they think

 

[Solo]

[quote="Solo":155ad][quote="kinggambits":155ad][quote="Fuzzy":155ad]My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

And when they kick you out of their house, and you get set up in your own house independently paying your own bills, you can listen to whoever is using your phone. Until then use THEIR phone respectfully.

your parents do not have the right to rule your life, at the very least, you should try to speak to them.

If you don't want your parents to rule your life, then move out, but remember what God thinks about the matter. I would take God's word over kinggambits word. He seems a little off in his biblical understanding.

Eph 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Col 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

doing something as extreme as moving out would not solve the problems you are having with your parents, and that is why you need to confront them on these issues.[/quote:155ad]
The home is the parents home and they are the ones in charge of the home. If the children do not like the rules, then they should move somewhere where they can create their own rules. It won't take long before they realize how stupid they were to have left the safety and love of their parents home. I don't expect for you to understand because you are still too young to understand. Perhaps after you are older and have children, then you will realize the importance of obedience as a child.[/quote:155ad]a child needs to have a say in what happens to them, at least letting the parents what they think[/quote:155ad]
They do not own anything in the house unless the parents give them that latitude. They are bound to the dictates of their parents, like it or not. There is always the state foster system that they can run off to, if they do not like the rules that their parents set up.

 

[Guest]

[quote="kinggambits":d08f0][quote="Solo":d08f0][quote="kinggambits":d08f0][quote="Fuzzy":d08f0]My parents have been listening to my phone calls, reading my mail, sorting thro my stuff, and now they r trying to get into my chatrooms to watch what i type and ask questions about me. Is it just me or r they going to far? I understand their reasoning behind it but its getting annoying and cutting into my private life.
What should I do to get them to stop bugging me and doing that stuff. I've tried telling not to do that but they just get mad.
If im not allowed to know what our income is or even see who they got mail from and stuff like that, they shouldnt be allowed to do that stuff to me.

yes, you need to stand up to them, and demand that they allow you to live your own life and make your own desisions.

And when they kick you out of their house, and you get set up in your own house independently paying your own bills, you can listen to whoever is using your phone. Until then use THEIR phone respectfully.

your parents do not have the right to rule your life, at the very least, you should try to speak to them.

If you don't want your parents to rule your life, then move out, but remember what God thinks about the matter. I would take God's word over kinggambits word. He seems a little off in his biblical understanding.

Eph 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Col 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

doing something as extreme as moving out would not solve the problems you are having with your parents, and that is why you need to confront them on these issues.[/quote:d08f0]
The home is the parents home and they are the ones in charge of the home. If the children do not like the rules, then they should move somewhere where they can create their own rules. It won't take long before they realize how stupid they were to have left the safety and love of their parents home. I don't expect for you to understand because you are still too young to understand. Perhaps after you are older and have children, then you will realize the importance of obedience as a child.[/quote:d08f0]a child needs to have a say in what happens to them, at least letting the parents what they think[/quote:d08f0]
They do not own anything in the house unless the parents give them that latitude. They are bound to the dictates of their parents, like it or not. There is always the state foster system that they can run off to, if they do not like the rules that their parents set up.[/quote:d08f0]that's horrible, you act as though parents own their children, it is their life and they have the right to do what they want with it, parents cannot have dictation over every part of a childs life, if a child does not learn to function independently while they are younger, then they may have pproblems when they are older.