Respecting parents - even if theyre evil?

[Zeth4500]

hi, my first post here. i will be coming here with questions every now and then.
i was many years ago shunned from christianity due to very dishonerable personality of a priestess, not too many years ago i met god and since then i have been taking more and more interest of christianity- i dont feel like im truly christian but i want to abide by as much of christianity as possible

but now multiple times i have come across that you have to respect your parents- i cant quite bring myself to respect my mother- she is an evil character that has done surreal things and even practiced withcraft and gotten herself truly possessed multiple times and most likely still is- because of this i dont even have her number saved on my phone
is this not the right thing to do? she ended up like how she is partly because of how her life was- but largely she made that decision herself.

 

[WIP]

hi, my first post here. i will be coming here with questions every now and then.
i was many years ago shunned from christianity due to very dishonerable personality of a priestess, not too many years ago i met god and since then i have been taking more and more interest of christianity- i dont feel like im truly christian but i want to abide by as much of christianity as possible

but now multiple times i have come across that you have to respect your parents- i cant quite bring myself to respect my mother- she is an evil character that has done surreal things and even practiced withcraft and gotten herself truly possessed multiple times and most likely still is- because of this i dont even have her number saved on my phone
is this not the right thing to do? she ended up like how she is partly because of how her life was- but largely she made that decision herself.

Respecting someone does not mean that you endorse their lifestyle.

 

[for_his_glory]

Hi Zeth4500 and welcome to CF

You present a good question as how can we love someone we do not want anything to do with, especially a parent. I had a similar experience with my father who was very mean and abusive physically and mentally to us kids growing up. It actually took me many years to forgive him and find genuine love for him as I could only learn to do that through the love that Christ had for me as a sinner, but unfortunately only after my dad passed away. I never had a chance to tell him I forgave him and loved him.

God is all about love as even loving and praying for our enemies and at times it is hard to love those like your mother as it seems like she has become and enemy of sort to you as you want nothing to do with her. Pure love, like the love of Jesus, can be hard to find in us, but when we draw closer to Jesus and start to learn of His love then we begin to learn how to love others.

Here are a few verses you can read and I also would like to say start reading the book of John as this will teach you about our relationship we have with Jesus. Just remember, there are no stupid questions, but sometimes we will get stupid answers so don't be afraid to ask us anything.


John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
John 3:19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

Mat 5:43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Mat 5:45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

Mat 22:36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
Mat 22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
Mat 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

 

[miamited]

HI for_his_glory

You present a good question as how can we love someone we do not want anything to do with,

The command is to honor, not love. While I believe that in most cases a child should love their parents, that's not what this command is about.

In this case, even though the mother may be wicked and doing things that would lead her child astray from God, I believe, that if the OP's heart is true, that he will figure out a way to act honorably concerning his parents, while not agreeing with anything about their worldview. It's the same that God asks us of our government. We may be living under a repressive government, just as the Jews were in Israel when this instruction in the Scriptures was given. But God asks us to 'respect' those in authority over us. That doesn't mean that you have to agree, but we merely must respect the position over us that God has ordained, if we believe Him.

God bless,
Ted

 

[Zeth4500]

thank you very much for the replies- yes- it is to honor them and not to love or respect.
im finding a list of ways to honor a parent- as per the bible.
2-3-4-6-9 i cant follow through with, as i would have to contact her, and i have gone no-contact with her for a reason. last i spoke to her she had ended up with vast delusions and refuses to believe she doesnt own a plum tree. she is a very manipulative and evil person, conversations will be purely manipulation attempts, deceit, gaslighting- and point 8 could become very interesting if she would at least admit defeat when i call her out- but she believes her own lies. i just dont see a way around this without ruining what little mood i do have for the day. and now- ironically about point 10, i guess its fine if i explain exactly why im on no-contact with her. i told her the truth years ago, she refused and ridiculed me for having looked into what she was ingesting, it contained poison and her brain has deteriorated rapidly. i always stuck to point 8 but it was a lost cause. i dont know what i should pray for her either as it seems shes well beyond point of no return. even if i prayed for selfawareness, that would strike her like an awful curse if god decided to follow through with it. as im sitting down and trying to think up something positive about her, i realize that since she is a pathological liar, its really very little i know of her, as pathological liars can lie about anything, especially things with no gain at all!
i might come across as pessimistic, but i dont really see how i can try to honor her without either sabotaging what little peace her life has left, or sabotaging myself
1. Be thankful for them and show your gratitude
2. Communicate with them.
3. Talk to them and treat them with respect
4. Seek their advice and wisdom
5. Pray for them (and with them)
6. Encourage your parents
7. Forgive your parents
8. Tell them the truth.
9. Take care of your parents
10. Talk Well of Them Publicly and Privately

 

[for_his_glory]

Well Zeth4500 it seems you are between a rock and a hard place with your mother. The only advice I can give you is to fully give this to God as you pray about this and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in how to deal with all of this so you remain pleasing to the Lord. It seems like your mother is a lost cause to you, but never quit praying for her as I too will keep her in my prayers as miracles do happen and there is much power in fervent prayer.

 

[Zeth4500]

amen to that, lets see what signs i get- if i get none i might just take it as that im already doing the right thing.

 

[atpollard]

Here is the original word from which "honor" (of honor your parents) comes:

כָּבַד kâbad, kaw-bad'; or כָּבֵד kâbêd; a primitive root; to be heavy, i.e. in a bad sense (burdensome, severe, dull) or in a good sense (numerous, rich, honorable); causatively, to make weighty (in the same two senses):—abounding with, more grievously afflict, boast, be chargeable, × be dim, glorify, be (make) glorious (things), glory, (very) great, be grievous, harden, be (make) heavy, be heavier, lay heavily, (bring to, come to, do, get, be had in) honour (self), (be) honourable (man), lade, × more be laid, make self many, nobles, prevail, promote (to honour), be rich, be (go) sore, stop.​

The sense is to NOT treat them with disrespect.

• beating your parent is wrong.
• slandering them to whomever will listen is wrong.
• stealing from them is wrong.

If your relationship is such that the best thing for you to do is to stay away from them at present, there is nothing "disrespectful" in that.

 

[helpthem1999]

You don't have to respect an evil person. Be good to people, don't harm them, help them, but respect...it is earned, if others don't deserve it, don't force yourself to respect them.

 

[Zeth4500]

ah- lets try etymology for honor

honor (v.) mid-13c., honuren, "to do honor to, show respect to," from Old French onorer, honorer "respect, esteem, revere; welcome; present" (someone with something), from Latin honorare "to honor," from honor "honor, dignity, office, reputation" (see honor (n.)).

helpthem1999 one verse from satanism is to only help people that deserve it, while christianity wants you to help everyone and let god dish out karma, to me people always start with my trust, respect is then earned.

i might have to add.. a few days ago i spoke to my uncle, and for no apparent reason my mother has been improving from a sort of dying or zombified condition, either prayers worked or god is simply proving that even my mother is able to improve, against all odds. im negotiable to call this a miracle. since the past few weeks where i got into reading the bible more and trying to live more by it i have seen some unlikely positive changes all around me, even in people around me- kind of like im infecting people with luck.

as for the whole gossiping and slandering thing, i personally only consider it to be gossip when its a person that both you and the other person youre talking to knows the third person, slander would only be negative and with no practical purpose. i have in the past exposed private information so im putting a lot of effort into not repeating that
thanks for the replies, god bless.

 

[for_his_glory]

Pro 6:16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
Pro 6:17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
Pro 6:18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
Pro 6:19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

 

[Anaphora]

Hi ZETH. Good subject. I have similar feelings like you. Mark 10:19. Thou knows the commandments, do not commit adultery, do not kill, do not steal, do not bear false witness, defraud not, Honor thy father and mother. At least respect them enough, that they brought you into the world. No, you don't have to tolerate their behavior and lifestyle. My earthly dad, when I was child, had 3 healthy dogs euthanized. I have anger and resentment towards him. I won't allow the bitterness to ruin my life. I moved on long time ago. Hatred is destructive. I learned to control it. Its poison. Live your life godly, and let Jesus, who is judge, take care every one else.