Rules For Choosing Story Books

[mstrohm]

Do you have rules for choosing story books for your 3 to 7 year old? Do you allow magic? Do you allow witches? How about stories where the main characters get away with doing wrong? I would love to hear your guidelines.

 

[l'Chante]

Stories are very important for a child's development, but I understand your concern. Children are very easily influenced and we must be very careful with the stories that we allow them to read. In the same breath I have to admit that I'm not an extremist in this regard. My daughter loves fantasy figures like fairies, unicorns, Pegasus's and dragons. I often make up stories that contain these characters and she simply loves them. I allow for a little moral lessons in each story like how important it is to help others and how we have to share. I steer clear from the traditional stories like Hansel and Gretel, Jack and the beanstalk, and little red riding hood. My daughter is very sensitive and these stories will just upset her.

 

[Michae1]

I have never seen a children's book that had dangerous content in it like occults or evil winning over good. That kind of stuff basically only exist in the adult reading section. Kids tend to ignore those books because there are no pictures in them. (I know I do.)

The only book that I ever had to take away from my son was a book on whaling that he got from the school library. He was only about 7 years old then, and the book had a few pictures of whalers cutting up a dead whale. Lots of blood and guts. I did not feel he needed to be exposed to that at such a young age. The book cover said it was about whales, not about the slaughter of whales.

Now I know that a mention of the Harry Potter series is probably going to show up in this thread sooner or later, so I am going to go ahead and give that series a big thumbs up.

Yes it is a story about a school for witches, but it is a fantasy story about people who can do magic. It is not about occults or the devil. It is an imaginary story about a group of kids who have a special ability, in a fight of good versus evil. It is more of a suspenseful mystery in a format that grabs your attention, and when your trying to get your kids to read you need to find a story that keeps them turning the pages.

 

[Mike]

I've always been ultra-conservative; even more so than my wife. I don't mind things of pure imagination like unicorns or dragons like the president of my fan-club, I'C. I did mind stories about witches or ghosts when they were young < 6. I never wanted the occult, even on the mildest level to creep into their psyche. Other than that, as Michae1 said, I never found much to be avoided in childrens books.

Michae1, we agree on much, but not movies! ;) Harry Potter appeared innocent enough to a lot of people, and I don't judge other Christians for letting kids old enough to handle the scary action to see them. But again, this is introducing them to the occult. And it can be taken to extremes by the ill-equipped. Like Avatar, a child who is grounded and watches it with grounded parents who can talk it through, there might not be a problem. But how many kids took it with more realism than the story was intended, evidence by many kids sending letters to the fictional school. While they don't fly on brooms, witchcraft is real and shouldn't be laughed at by anyone, let alone kids.

Way off topic, we've never done Halloween either. We go to a party at our church, and the kids have never been interested in trick-or-treating.

 

[handy]

I never minded stories about fantasy witches and magic. My kids even enjoyed the grimmest of Grimm fairy tales. (I come down on the side that the Harry Potter books and movies are really good, especially the books which I think are outstanding!) The key is to separate real from make believe. My kids were always able to tell the difference. I even asked my daughter once, when she was about 7 and figured out the whole Santa Claus thing if learning that Santa was a fairy tale caused her any doubts about Jesus. She looked at me like . Of course it didn't.

Now, I'm not saying that some kids aren't more influenced or not as able to separate the real from the fantasy. But, I worked with preschool kids for over 12 years, and believe me, most kids have a good handle on what's real and what isn't. Unless their parents confuse the issue by over-reacting and acting like a make believe story is going to harm them. Not saying anyone here is doing that, but a friend of mine was really bad about scaring the hell out of her kids about these things, so much so that her 4 year old boy was traumatized one Halloween when some trick-or-treaters didn't follow the "light off" rule and showed up at their door. She tried to make it out that it was Satan who scared her boy...trust me, it was her reaction. He got the idea that little demons were knocking on their door from her. That's really twisted, it really is. 2

And, keep in mind that your kids most likely will run into the occult on some level, and they need to be able to handle it in truth. When we confuse make-believe stories with real occult issues, how will our kids have the discernment they need to sort things out? On a different thread I brought up that my daughter is becoming friends with a Wiccan boy. I was a little leery, because the boy isn't making up a "Harry Potter" style fantasy, his mom and him are real witches, they don't believe in God, or Satan and he has already started to correct other kids when they think that "Harry Potter" even remotely is tied to their religion. If I had made out that "Harry Potter" teaches kids to be real witches, and this guy comes along and corrects that....what does that do to my daughter's opinion of other things I've taught her?

I have taught my kids the dangers of the occult. They know that the Ouija board is hardly a "game" but rather a very dangerous tool that can open the door to some really nasty things. My daughter knows that, while she can be a friend to this Wiccan kid, she can't be too involved in his life, without compromising her relationship with Christ, as he outright rejects Christ. (I'm so glad that she "gets" this!) When my kids have watched shows like "Ghost Hunters", I've let them know that ghosts cannot be the spirits of dead people because once we die, people are judged and then sent on to their eternal abode, whichever one it might be. So, most "haunted" houses are either clever hoaxes, or there is demonic activity. There are no "friendly" ghosts.

So, as parents, I think we need to be aware of how our own kids process information. If they truly cannot separate reality from make-believe, then we need to help them learn that discernment. When they can, they need to learn what is truth about things. It's far better for kids to handle what comes up out there in the world, if they have been equipped to do so, rather than have been taught all their lives to confuse what is make-believe with what is real.