Scared and in need of guidance

[new zealand girl]

Hi everyone

I'm not entirely sure if this is a question, a call for help/advice or my story but I really feel I need to share this.

When I was a young teenager, my parents took me to a presbyterian church. We went each sunday and I loved it but the church eventually got a new minister. He was, for lack of a better word, terrifying! He would talk constantly about hell and how angry God was at his children. He used guilt and fear to get people to become Christians and I was so terrified of God I would physically punish myself for sinning and not being good enough. Almost every sermon was of the apocalypse and to this day thunder makes me scared. I left the church soon after this minister arrived as I couldn't take the fear and guilt anymore and have been living a worldly life since.

However, getting to know my fiance, his parents are lovely Christian's. They are gentle and really live the life if you know what I mean. It has made me very intrigued and have been to church a few times. I now know I want to continue this journey and get to know God but I'm scared. I've read some posts on some of these forums and now I'm feeling scared again. I don't know if I can believe homosexuality is bad or a choice. I don't know if I can believe sex before marrage is bad if you are in a committed relationship and have known each other without sex for years. Does this mean I can't be a Christian or that God doesn't love me?

I guess I'm hoping that someone wise can help me figure this out. I'm asking God to help show me the way and guide me but I don't know if He is answering (or if I will notice when He answers).

I don't know if this is important, but I firmly believe that God is real, that Jesus is the son of God, that He died and rose again and that His blood was spilt to forgive our sins. I believe the bible is God's Word.

I hope someone out there can help me. I want to live a more Christian life Thanks for reading.

 

[Igor]

... I've read some posts on some of these forums and now I'm feeling scared again. ...

Hi NZG. A lot of the posts on here scare me too. And I was a already a Christian probably before you were born. Don't let them bother you. There are a lot of non Christians here that are just trying to prove Christians wrong, or practice their arguing skills. Your fiancé's parents sound like a better example of the kind of Christians that Jesus taught us to be! Is your fiancé a Christian too?

...I'm asking God to help show me the way and guide me but I don't know if He is answering...

Even though you believe in God, you admit you are not a Christian. God hears the prayers of Christians. That's not to say that God doesn't care or isn't aware of what's going on with you right now. He is. But He probably won't listen to your prayers or give you any kind of direct answer that is not already written in the Bible unless that prayer is one of finally accepting Him and turning your life over to him. Which brings me to this part of your post:

...I firmly believe that God is real, that Jesus is the son of God, that He died and rose again and that His blood was spilt to forgive our sins. I believe the bible is God's Word..

Why, if you believe all of this, have you not turned your life over to Him (and become a Christian) already? What you stated here is all you need to know. Christianity really isn't about following a bunch of rules regarding what you can and can't do with your fiancé, constantly focusing on nothing but hell and the apocalypse, and trying to scare people into saying they accept Christ, or even about worrying about homosexuality all the time. It is about believing and accepting what you just said above, and then turning your life over to God, asking Jesus into your heart, and allowing God to then guide your life.

If you truly believe what you said above, why have you waited? Is there a better alternative? What are you afraid of losing if you turned your life over to Christ?

This is the first thing you need to settle. After that, if you decide against Christ, none of the questions you are asking matter anyway. If you decide for Christ, you will find that He will give you wisdom and will to follow Him, and will quickly forgive you when you make a mistake or fail. No more need to worry about thunder storms.

 

[Elijah674]

The problem is with [US]. God does not care what bring mankind to Him, as long as they come! Jude say that the Holy Spirits message used, is one of both Fear & others 'have compassion'. (See the K.J. of Jude 1:22-23)

And the point is: After either of these methods bring the individual to a [Decision] to accept 100% Christ, (Acts 4:12) it is only then that the Born Again life [EVEN STARTS!] It is then & only then, that ones MOTIVE is Love for CHRIST! And this recreated perfect LOVE castest out fear. Got that? Then comes Phil. 4:13 & 2 Cor. 12:9!

And Acts 5 caused FEAR to come on ALL THE NEW CHURCH! (ibide. 11) The reason was because it was TIME for all game playing to come to a halt. My suggestion to you is to make sure of your DECISION before you make it!

See Matt. 28:20, and ask yourself why you are asking these board members questions that you already know to be truth? See Jer. 17:5! And Rev. 17:1-5! These are the INSPIRATION OF THE HOLY GHOST! And you want to be told what to do by these other ones????

How are you doing anything different than that of Eve??
Bottom/Line! 2 Tim. 3:16-17 + Matt. 4:4 has all that is required for any 'SINCERE' one who will OBEY God! Acts 5:32. (and all others need to be fearful! Obad. 1:16)

If you are looking for that 'Mild-mannerad 'Granddad Bandit' that has been on the News (World News + News Papers) the last couple days? You will find these prophesied Church's having many INSIDE OF THEM STANDING BEHIND the pulpit teaching falsehoods that you can 'feel' confortable with! (But never Never Christ's Truths of Matt. 10:34-39)

It is your DECISION alone to make! SURRENDER AND OBEDIENCE or a SEARED CONSCIENCE. Gen. 4:7 Josh. 24:15 + Deut.30:19

--Elijah

 

[PouringRain]

God doesn't expect us to get our lives right and be perfect before we come to him. He wants us to come as we are.

 

[cleanfreak]

I don't know if this is important, but I firmly believe that God is real, that Jesus is the son of God, that He died and rose again and that His blood was spilt to forgive our sins. I believe the bible is God's Word.

According to John 3:16, you are a Christian. It states you only have to believe, which you have according to your post. :p
I also saw your 'intro' post and you really seemed to be concerned with 'sex before marriage'. As a newbie here as well, I am sure there are many debates on this here. All I can say is I waited 6 years for my wife and I do not regret it one bit.

You may not be able to say the same, but you are born again. All things are new. Use this as an opportunity to start fresh. ;)

 

[Sam21]

Hi everyone

I'm not entirely sure if this is a question, a call for help/advice or my story but I really feel I need to share this.

When I was a young teenager, my parents took me to a presbyterian church. We went each sunday and I loved it but the church eventually got a new minister. He was, for lack of a better word, terrifying! He would talk constantly about hell and how angry God was at his children. He used guilt and fear to get people to become Christians and I was so terrified of God I would physically punish myself for sinning and not being good enough. Almost every sermon was of the apocalypse and to this day thunder makes me scared. I left the church soon after this minister arrived as I couldn't take the fear and guilt anymore and have been living a worldly life since.

However, getting to know my fiance, his parents are lovely Christian's. They are gentle and really live the life if you know what I mean. It has made me very intrigued and have been to church a few times. I now know I want to continue this journey and get to know God but I'm scared. I've read some posts on some of these forums and now I'm feeling scared again. I don't know if I can believe homosexuality is bad or a choice. I don't know if I can believe sex before marrage is bad if you are in a committed relationship and have known each other without sex for years. Does this mean I can't be a Christian or that God doesn't love me?

I guess I'm hoping that someone wise can help me figure this out. I'm asking God to help show me the way and guide me but I don't know if He is answering (or if I will notice when He answers).

I don't know if this is important, but I firmly believe that God is real, that Jesus is the son of God, that He died and rose again and that His blood was spilt to forgive our sins. I believe the bible is God's Word.

I hope someone out there can help me. I want to live a more Christian life Thanks for reading.

Commit your life completely to God,call upon Jesus and ask Him to be your Savior, and then read the New Testament and use that as your guide to what is right and wrong,not your own ideas. It has worked for millions and it will work for you.

 

[Nathan]

Well it sounds like both your life and a bit of questioning mixed in. I am sure you will find both people to listen and a lot that will answer your questions on here. Welcome to the board.

I have listened to those kinds of 'preachers' before. Where as what they say might not be entirely wrong, (although I have a tremendous time finding very much truth in what they do say), they really do not proclaim the full gospel of Christ. Hell is real, a place prepared especially for Satan and his angels, but the Kingdom of God is just as real, prepared for those that love God.

I have heard it said by some 'pastors' that they would do anything it took, even if it meant scaring some, to make people want to be 'saved'. This strikes me as odd, because it makes me think about a shepherd dressing up into a very scary costume and then scaring his sheep when they start to wonder off. Doesn't make much sense at all.

On the flip side, a shepherd would not be much of a shepherd if he simply sat back and quietly whispered a word of warning to the sheep that is about to fall off the cliff. There is a balance in what the pastor is supposed to be.

Now, what you found is not the way the Church, body of Christ, was meant to be. What you 'experienced' was an offshoot from hundreds of years of tradition. That is what you are going to find in 99.9% of Churches today. Some will openly admit it, some reject it, but its the way it is. And the reason why I am saying this is because you could just 'shop' around till you found some place you 'fit' in with. There are plenty of 'churches' out there that the "services" they provide are all across the board.

But the fact of the matter is that you seem to be searching for the real deal. This is good. If you want to live a 'Christian life', then the only way you are going to do it is to #1 be a Christian, and #2 be a Christian. Double talk? No. A Christian is simply one who has been born again, and then continues to walk in the way Jesus walked. So you first have to be 'born again' which is "becoming" a Christian, then you simply follow Christ.

I am sure where you are 'hung' up at is the following Christ thing? Who do you believe? Which 'church' is telling the truth? There must be a million questions in your mind. Here is my advice. Go to the Bible. It has the truth you need/want in it. The fallacy that has surrounded the "Christian" today is that man needs another man to be the "middle man" between the common folk and Christ. This is not true. You can understand and walk after Christ from the leading of the Spirit of God in your life.

So, sit down, take a copy of the Bible and simply read. There are things that will make you confused. Some things will be hard to understand. Some things will seem to fly straight in the face of what you have always thought from prior people telling you things. But this is the best way to start a journey. The Christian life is a journey. Its not a 'once done deal'. Its not a 'walk down the isle'. And it is certainly not a Sunday morning gathering.

If you want to be a Christian it takes a life long commitment to a Savior AND Lord. Some people just want a Savior, Jesus the "Christ". And He is the promised Messiah, otherwise known as the Christ. But He is also Lord. That means that He is the one you follow and give yourself too. Only then can you ever 'live' the Christian life. Until then all you are doing is spending time trying to fool yourself into thinking you are. And that is where most people find themselves. Wondering why they just do not seem to be what they know deep down they should be. It comes from a lack of submission; not to man, but to God. Submission does not find its place in a 'church building', but in the obedience to what God has given to us in a written account.

Act 2:36 Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.

 

[Elijah674]

God doesn't expect us to get our lives right and be perfect before we come to him. He wants us to come as we are.

True! Yet, to come to Him, He MEANS %100 Surrender to have the Born Again promise. Acts 5:32.. as did Paul (Saul) seen with this question answered by Christ Himself in Acts 9:6 'What [MUST I DO]..'and it will be told thee what [THOU MUST DO.]'

--Elijah

 

[Bonairos]

New Zealand Girl -

I read your post a few times attempting to discern what you were revealing about yourself and the dilemma you seem to face . Each and every time I would stop at these words,
<O:p</O:p
"I don't know if this is important, but I firmly believe that God is real, that Jesus is the son of God, that He died and rose again and that His blood was spilt to forgive our sins. I believe the bible is God's Word."

Assuming by saying, "...His blood was spilt to forgive our sins" - I take it you also mean for your sins personally. And have placed your trust in Him.
<O:p</O:p
Having said that, I believe based on God's Word you are indeed a born again Christian. Perhaps not having an ideal Christian walk, but a Christian nonetheless. For it is not the works we do or don't do that makes one a Christian. Neither is it our opinion of a matter (i.e. your views on premarital sex, homosexuality, etc.). Yet our actions and thoughts can, do, and will express the genuineness of our faith.
<O:p</O:p
We live by certain standards not because we wish to become a Christian. We do so because we have already become one (and the doing after the fact, comes as a direct result of learning and allowing the Holy Spirit to do it through us).
<O:p</O:p
Not every opinion or contrary action we take (have taken) will change instantly upon coming to Christ. But through faith, it will, IF we bring them all to Christ. I am reminded of the story of the ten lepers (Luke 17:11) coming to Christ seeking to be healed. To make a long story short, the bible says, “As they went they were healed.†The lepers came to Christ and presented their request. Nothing happened instantly. Yet as they acted upon what He said, (“As they went . . . “)they received the answer to their need. The same holds true in our Christian walk.

I leave you with this (and please, for those who feel compelled to debate me, listen to what I am saying before you do) . . .

Living the Christian life is NOT hard at all.
No, Living the Christian life is IMPOSSIBLE unless we let the Holy Spirit live it through us.

For if we think it is just hard, yet obtainable - We will fall into the trap so many have fallen into before and start believing, “I CAN DO IT! - If only I pray a little more. If only I read the bible a little longer. If only I get more involved. If only I do this . . .†blah, blah, blah.

Rather what we should be saying is, “Lord Jesus I want to, but I just can not do it! I need You to do through me what I cannot do myself! I surrender all.†And then let Him . . . As you go!

Be blessed, Stay blessed!

 

[pjt]

Hi everyone

I'm not entirely sure if this is a question, a call for help/advice or my story but I really feel I need to share this.

When I was a young teenager, my parents took me to a presbyterian church. We went each sunday and I loved it but the church eventually got a new minister. He was, for lack of a better word, terrifying! He would talk constantly about hell and how angry God was at his children. He used guilt and fear to get people to become Christians and I was so terrified of God I would physically punish myself for sinning and not being good enough. Almost every sermon was of the apocalypse and to this day thunder makes me scared. I left the church soon after this minister arrived as I couldn't take the fear and guilt anymore and have been living a worldly life since.

However, getting to know my fiance, his parents are lovely Christian's. They are gentle and really live the life if you know what I mean. It has made me very intrigued and have been to church a few times. I now know I want to continue this journey and get to know God but I'm scared. I've read some posts on some of these forums and now I'm feeling scared again. I don't know if I can believe homosexuality is bad or a choice. I don't know if I can believe sex before marrage is bad if you are in a committed relationship and have known each other without sex for years. Does this mean I can't be a Christian or that God doesn't love me?

I guess I'm hoping that someone wise can help me figure this out. I'm asking God to help show me the way and guide me but I don't know if He is answering (or if I will notice when He answers).

I don't know if this is important, but I firmly believe that God is real, that Jesus is the son of God, that He died and rose again and that His blood was spilt to forgive our sins. I believe the bible is God's Word.

I hope someone out there can help me. I want to live a more Christian life Thanks for reading.

NZG, hell is real and should be taught. We don`t want people to go through this life not realizing there`s a road leading to hell if people don`t repent. In fact, the story of the rich man who ended up in hell in Luke 16:19-31 pleaded that someone would go to his brothers on earth and warn them so they would not suffer his same fate. So there is a place to warn of hell. BUT you need not fear, once you become a Christian, hell has been defeated by the blood of Christ for you. Hell will not be your destiny so now you can live your life feeling and rejoicing in Christ`s victory over hell for you. In fact, the Bible has a lot to say about fear in Believers. It says we need not fear anything but God. But God is loving, merciful and kind to His children so you need not fear Him like a devil or monster. He is a our loving Father whom we can openly confide to, run to, and trust. Through Christ, you are now free! Your life does not need to be ruled by fear anymore. Love God, obey God, and enjoy the goodness of God and His creation. Cling to His Word and you can not go wrong.

 

[Nathan]

I might be wrong, but I do not think debating is allowed here.

The problem as I see it, is that people walk away from the Lord with a head knowledge all too often. The parable of the sower and his seed comes to mind.

Yes, doing and living the Christian life comes as a result of, and not a precondition of, being a believer. At the same time, we must understand that if that life/walk is not happening, then there is a serious problem. All too often we look at salvation as a turn in the road of life, when what happens all too often is some might indeed turn, but later on they find a 'off ramp' and do not understand that they simply have turned back in the direction they were originally going.

Then people try to tell them that its 'ok', they made that one turn, so they are on the right road. Jesus, and the writers of the NT, were very clear on this topic. In fact, James is very pointed when he makes this statement.

Jam 2:19 You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe--and shudder!

The point is that true God given faith, the belief in His Son, will cause a person to live the way that Jesus lived. So, if a person has a head knowledge "belief", and not a life that resembles it, there is something wrong. And that is precisely what I hear in the OP.

The reason a 'belief' in Christ saves is because a true belief in Jesus AS the promised Christ, means that the person believes that He died for their sins. And when a person believes that Jesus died for their sins, it produces freedom from slavery of the sinful nature and an ability to live like Christ.

A simple child like faith is where it all begins, but it is far from where it ends. Why we think it also ends there is beyond me. It is the end of our self efforts for righteousness, that is for sure. But it is only the beginning of God forming us into the image of His Son. Why we think that some will be formed and some will not is beyond me. True faith that brings salvation will change a person without question.

Instead of spending time trying to convince ourselves that our faith is enough, we should spend our time seeking what our Savior and Lord, who did save us, wants from us. That is what the Bible speaks toward.

Rom 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

2Cr 13:5 Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?--unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

If we want to live the "Christian Life" it is a life lived devoted to God. Jesus Christ is IN us. His Spirit lives in us. He does not leave us the same. He changes us, and it is a real change not just a mental one. If someone is not changing, then there should be a questioning that goes on. Not self condemning, but a serious look as to which way a person is going. That is precisely what I hear in the OP.

 

[jasoncran]

general thread forum its allowed to debate here.

 

[Nathan]

general thread forum its allowed to debate here.

I stand corrected. Thanks for the info Jason. Although I do not personally want to get into a debate over this.

 

[WIP]

Always remember. JESUS of Nazareth was the perfect example. You will know Christians by their fruits. Look to Jesus and keep your eyes focused on Him. There you will find the answers you seek.

 

[childeye]

Hi everyone

I'm not entirely sure if this is a question, a call for help/advice or my story but I really feel I need to share this.

When I was a young teenager, my parents took me to a presbyterian church. We went each sunday and I loved it but the church eventually got a new minister. He was, for lack of a better word, terrifying! He would talk constantly about hell and how angry God was at his children. He used guilt and fear to get people to become Christians and I was so terrified of God I would physically punish myself for sinning and not being good enough. Almost every sermon was of the apocalypse and to this day thunder makes me scared. I left the church soon after this minister arrived as I couldn't take the fear and guilt anymore and have been living a worldly life since.

However, getting to know my fiance, his parents are lovely Christian's. They are gentle and really live the life if you know what I mean. It has made me very intrigued and have been to church a few times. I now know I want to continue this journey and get to know God but I'm scared. I've read some posts on some of these forums and now I'm feeling scared again. I don't know if I can believe homosexuality is bad or a choice. I don't know if I can believe sex before marrage is bad if you are in a committed relationship and have known each other without sex for years. Does this mean I can't be a Christian or that God doesn't love me?

I guess I'm hoping that someone wise can help me figure this out. I'm asking God to help show me the way and guide me but I don't know if He is answering (or if I will notice when He answers).

I don't know if this is important, but I firmly believe that God is real, that Jesus is the son of God, that He died and rose again and that His blood was spilt to forgive our sins. I believe the bible is God's Word.

I hope someone out there can help me. I want to live a more Christian life Thanks for reading.

Please don't be afraid, there is nothing to fear. Listen my dear. It is easy to recieve Christ and I assure you, you will feel better. Your sins don't matter at this point and I will tell you how God can make them all go away.

First let me explain why there is sin in mankind. In the garden of Eden all was well and man knew no spiritual matters of good or evil. All was contentment and there was no want for anything and we did not know either any fear or shame or pride. But a high Angel we know as the Lucifer, who is now the devil and Satan the accuser looked down from his lofty place and saw man content in the garden and he was jealous because he desired to be like God and was not content. So he decieved mankind. There was, and I'm sure you've heard, a tree of knowledge of good and evil which God had said not to eat of. For God knew if we did we would experience spiritual matters that would spoil our innocence and bliss but instead would corrupt us who are made of flesh and that we would slowly die, and looking out for us in His tenderness He knew we had no idea of how well we had it in the garden and He did not want us to trade away our innocence for this knowledge.

Lucifer however decieved mankind by pretending this knowledge was desirable saying we would not die if we ate but would be wise like God and that the only reason God wanted us not to eat it was because we would become like God. Knowing no better the man and woman trusted the devil who seemed to be looking out for their interests and in doing so they believed in the selfish image of God that the devil had proposed and they did eat and sin entered in. And they immediately found fault and shame and they had pride and envy. Now we all know what happened.

But God in His omnipotence and omniscience had already prepared a way to redeem mankind for He allowed this to happen to turn the disobedince of Satan and man into a greater good unto His glory.

So I could go on and on, but for now let me cut to the chase. We all have an absolute that we reason upon, where we put our faith. And this absolute defines all our terms,good bad,rich poor, and concerning our morality right and wrong. This is our image of God that governs our conscience and makes our moral spirit. and there are many false images of God in men, and all not worthy of His glory.

So God sent His Christ which is the True Image of the True God into the world in Jesus so that whosoever believed in this True Image of God so that their false image of God is washed away they will be transformed. And this Jesus showed a love that was incorruptible and eternally perfect in his trustworthiness. He will never break your heart as we did His. For he suffered torture and death on the cross yet forgiving those who visciously beat him, saying before he died, "forgive them for they know not what they do". So believe in this Christ for this is how the True God is and you will be transformed in spirit and become like Him, a child of God. Don't worry about your sin. All those accusations are from Satan's image of God. Believe in this eternal love, forgive others no matter what they do. Never blame anyone believing they cannot help what they do. Be thankful no matter what befalls you. Don't judge but return good for evil and pray for whomever you are inclined to care for' Just follow Love for you are following God and watch as your sins shall fall away. Never think it is you but always thank God for His Spirit giving Him glory. Repent simply means turn to God, trust Him, He will not fail you.Love is forever and believing that is the whole battle.

 

[mrroy1937]

Get this. God is not a god of fear. Every time He appeared to people in the Bible, the first thing He said was "Fear not."

I would have left that church you mentioned in the middle of the very first sermon I heard. God is not a god of fear. He does not use fear to motivate people to accept His lordship.

So, you have the authority to address fear and in the name of Jesus Christ, to refuse to allow it to well up in your heart and mind.

In addition, I wonder if you are a consistent student of the Bible. Have you not read that Jesus went about doing good and healing all who came to him in faith? That is not fear.

Finally, I would ask you to find this sripture. "God has not give us a spirit of fear but of a sound mind." It's a paraphrase, but you will find in if you run a concordance on the word "fear."

May the Lord warm your heart and guide your thoughts..