second guessing EVERYTHING

[lost brother]

I have been a christian for about 20 years. Never was one to "wild out" etc. NEVER been drunk, nor have any desire for it. I will admit that the desire to have sex freely has always been on my mind. I am married now... I have been married three other times too. Each time, they want to be close etc. But after I say, "I DO"... the sex stops, then I find out they are cheating. As for me, I'm average, work out, college grad, great career, etc. excellent with kids. The marriage I am in I have been in for almost 4 years. 3 years basically no Sex. we went to couseling etc. found out it wasn't from her surgery she didn't want to have sex, but in away to control me. To get me to become a different person. What's so confusing, I was always "touchy feely"... I have been shut down so many times, i have grown the desire not to be around her. We have different views... for example, I love using the diswasher, she loves washing by hand. She sees me as being lazy because I like using the dishwasher. So I said, I could say the same for her...she likes using the washing machine to wash clothes, maybe I perfer her to wash by hand.... do you guys feel me? But other than little things like that, I think she should be greatful to have me. I don't have women calling, I don't even have a facebook account. I have a desire to want to go places and do things with her. But she tells me no, she's tired, etc. And I stay home with her. But now I get thrown in my face that "we don't do anything". She expects me to be talkitive and communicate more, I do what I can and try. But it was also explain to her that... women need communication like men need sex. She trieds to down play my attention for sex because how i grew up. This is starting to make me look else where. I don't want to go down that path, but I feel like I'm being forced to.

but adding everything together... I'm so tired...failed marriages, relationships, even feeling seperated at chruch... I wonder... maybe I shouldn't be a Christian. maybe its a sign for me to step down. as another example, I use to love going to church, studying, etc. I made the choice to attend a christian college, learn a lot... but failed at everything? Basically, the school let me go, basically saying "this isn't the place for you". I could never figure it out. I can go to a tech school and even now a medical school and do well... but at a Christian school, where I had more of a deisre to complete, I totally failed at? I had several pastors to read my work and they loved it, some used it for their messages... I'm just so tired to doing. I'm dealing with depression and sucide now. I have seeked help.. and it only last for so long... trust me, I feel bad and I have my numbers to call, but its just not enough. My selfworth has diminished so much. I don't wnat to make this into a abook. Feel free to respond.

So, with failed marriages, suffering in one and not being able to feel comfortble at any church... do you all think I'm just "damn"?

 

[TRUTH over TRADITION]

I have been a christian for about 20 years. Never was one to "wild out" etc. NEVER been drunk, nor have any desire for it. I will admit that the desire to have sex freely has always been on my mind. I am married now... I have been married three other times too. Each time, they want to be close etc. But after I say, "I DO"... the sex stops, then I find out they are cheating. As for me, I'm average, work out, college grad, great career, etc. excellent with kids. The marriage I am in I have been in for almost 4 years. 3 years basically no Sex. we went to couseling etc. found out it wasn't from her surgery she didn't want to have sex, but in away to control me. To get me to become a different person. What's so confusing, I was always "touchy feely"... I have been shut down so many times, i have grown the desire not to be around her. We have different views... for example, I love using the diswasher, she loves washing by hand. She sees me as being lazy because I like using the dishwasher. So I said, I could say the same for her...she likes using the washing machine to wash clothes, maybe I perfer her to wash by hand.... do you guys feel me? But other than little things like that, I think she should be greatful to have me. I don't have women calling, I don't even have a facebook account. I have a desire to want to go places and do things with her. But she tells me no, she's tired, etc. And I stay home with her. But now I get thrown in my face that "we don't do anything". She expects me to be talkitive and communicate more, I do what I can and try. But it was also explain to her that... women need communication like men need sex. She trieds to down play my attention for sex because how i grew up. This is starting to make me look else where. I don't want to go down that path, but I feel like I'm being forced to.

but adding everything together... I'm so tired...failed marriages, relationships, even feeling seperated at chruch... I wonder... maybe I shouldn't be a Christian. maybe its a sign for me to step down. as another example, I use to love going to church, studying, etc. I made the choice to attend a christian college, learn a lot... but failed at everything? Basically, the school let me go, basically saying "this isn't the place for you". I could never figure it out. I can go to a tech school and even now a medical school and do well... but at a Christian school, where I had more of a deisre to complete, I totally failed at? I had several pastors to read my work and they loved it, some used it for their messages... I'm just so tired to doing. I'm dealing with depression and sucide now. I have seeked help.. and it only last for so long... trust me, I feel bad and I have my numbers to call, but its just not enough. My selfworth has diminished so much. I don't wnat to make this into a abook. Feel free to respond.

So, with failed marriages, suffering in one and not being able to feel comfortble at any church... do you all think I'm just "damn"?

My Brother, you need to employ a little Manhood 101. When adhered to, it can chage your life and your relationships in a powerful way. Please give it a chance. Here's the link:

EDITED LINK OUT. THE BIBLE ITSSELF ALONG WITH THE HOLY GHOST IS THE BEST WAY TO BE HEALED. STAFF.

 

[lost brother]

Well, we just finished going to a section at chruch... basically she has no desire for me sexually. She wants my company... that's about it.

 

[lost brother]

Wow, i read a bit from the PDF... that's impressive.

 

[matthew]

you do know that you are not suppose to have sex before marrige

 

[Bonairos]

So, with failed marriages, suffering in one and not being able to feel comfortble at any church... do you all think I'm just "damn"?

"Damned?" HAHA I think contrary! It appears you are positioned for an encounter with the True and Living God!


Be blessed, Stay blessed!

 

[handy]

lost brother,

On the surface, it sounds as if you're a great guy...someone that maybe has been unlucky in his choice of a wife, but one most Christian women would line up hoping to be able to wed.

However, the thing is, it's not just wife one, or wife two, but even wife three have some deep seated issues with you ending in failed marriages.

This is when it's best to step back again and examine, just what is going on here.

When the Christian school told you that it "wasn't the place for you" what were the reasons given? I gathered that you failed in the classes...why do you think that is.

Also, you say you are a Christian...do you mind giving testimony as to when you became a Christian?

But, as encouragement, no, not for a moment do I think you are "damn"...you sound as if you are a brother in real need, but with God, all things are possible.

 

[theLords]

Wow, i read a bit from the PDF... that's impressive.

That PDF you read from was anti-Biblical, misogynistic, promotion of sinful behavior garbage. Please disregard and reject everything you read from that link because it is not from the Lord. It will only do you more damage then good.

 

[Jacy]

My Brother, you need to employ a little Manhood 101. When adhered to, it can chage your life and your relationships in a powerful way. Please give it a chance. Here's the link:

EDITED LINK OUT. THE BIBLE ITSSELF ALONG WITH THE HOLY GHOST IS THE BEST WAY TO BE HEALED. STAFF.

Once again, we see how much we cannot depend on another human being for full satisfaction and contentment...right now, God wants you to be still. You cannot make a big decision with so much confusion and opinions...the ONLY voice you need to listen to right now is HIS...

Ask God to submit these feelings you have under His authority and to govern your thoughts and emotions. There needs to be a re-building of your foundation with Him...without the proper foundation, without knowing who Jesus truly is, the house that you build will surely fall...this is the time to get back to the Rock