Should I change my last name to my future husband's ?

[jessica001]

My fiance and I have a great relationship, but there is one thing we cannot agree on to change my name to the married name. This is very difficult for me. I am not old fashioned,

If any of you did change your last name, how did you made that decision? And do you regret it?

 

[JohnDB]

The two shall become one...

Marriage is two people becoming intimate on EVERY level including emotional and intellectual and by that point the physical is an afterthought. (Even if the world considers it a primary focus)

You will have the legal right to speak for your husband when he isn't able or available and he for you as you give him yourself. He in turn is supposed to lead his family to a better relationship with God and make his family name be associated with his relationship with God.

Why would you object to that?

 

[Knotical]

The two shall become one...

Marriage is two people becoming intimate on EVERY level including emotional and intellectual and by that point the physical is an afterthought. (Even if the world considers it a primary focus)

You will have the legal right to speak for your husband when he isn't able or available and he for you as you give him yourself. He in turn is supposed to lead his family to a better relationship with God and make his family name be associated with his relationship with God.

Why would you object to that?

Ditto.

 

[jessica001]

The thing is that I'm having a really hard time deciding whether it's the right decision or not.

 

[Nick]

The thing is that I'm having a really hard time deciding whether it's the right decision or not.

What are your reasons for not wanting to change your name?

 

[JohnDB]

The thing is that I'm having a really hard time deciding whether it's the right decision or not.

Your last name is not the issue.
It's you giving yourself to him to do with as he sees fit. Either way it's trust issues on your part that may be founded or unfounded.
Considering all the issues that you yourself have raised I'm inclined to believe that your issues are unfounded.
I would seek pre marriage counseling for his benefit to try to make sense of his relationship with you. In either case the counseling services will only help.

"What Did You Expect?" Is an excellent marriage seminar and book. There are others. I highly recommend it or others like it.

 

[Nick]

John raises a good point.

Have you two been going or are planning to go to pre-marriage counselling? In my church it's mandatory.

 

[Willie T]

The thing is that I'm having a really hard time deciding whether it's the right decision or not.

If it is this much of an issue to you now, the underlying problem that you seem yet to identify will also affect your marriage. My suggestion would be to set aside some money to tide you over through the divorce that is probably in your future.