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[__ Prayer __] Sister back in the Hospital

Pizzaguy

Pizzaguy

Member
Well, my sister went back into the hospital last night. It's January all over again - fever and general paralysis. Obviously an infection, but they dont know where yet. She is getting so tired of this, and, well, so am I. Sometimes, I think it's harder on me than her. She is in ADVANCED M.S., at age 56 she will never walk again and can barely use the keyboard or TV remote.

If she lives long enough, she will eventually be conscious but unable to do more than move her lips and eyelids. It could get to where she cant swallow, even. :sad

Added to this, I just posted this on Facebook - you get the idea:

You tested in the upper 5% academically. Your mother changed her life around to provide the best environment for you growing up... And yet, at 39, you have never owned a home. Never finished college, never found a direction in life, didn't marry your daughter's mother, and today - you spend your evenings with your friends playing VIDEO GAMES? And your mother is in the hospital and she hasn't heard from you in four weeks? Finally, I have a definition for "a wasted life".
 
Disgusted with my nephew.

And totally lost as to why Debi has to go thru this, she's almost dead yet could live for years like this. I have not seen Debi smile in at least two years.

She, on some level, has told me that she believes this is punishment for sin, and for making bad decisions. Not sure WHAT decision brings on M.S.

I actually am praying that the Lord will just take her. Even tho, I will feel SO alone - all I have left is my two sons after she is gone. But I cannot stand to watch the suffering.

Maybe Hitch is right, God's love is not ... what I thought it was.

It can't be.
 
pizza ....i was already crying awhile ago but i'm shedding more tears now while reading this . I am praying for you and your family...i think this is the time to remember what Jesus had said " Father, why have you forsaken me"( Matt 27: 46)....let us remember Jesus in the calvary....
 
God knows our yesterday and today and tomorrow.

I pray God looks at you, Pizza, and pity her. We are praying for you.
 
I am willing and able to pray that He takes her and ends this.

I know I iwll struggle after she's gone (last family member other than my boys in my life) but I am sick of watchign this.

Thanks all.
 
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. To love someone and watch them suffer is truly one of the most difficult things we can endure in our lives. Being frustrated because we can not help them. I know lately I have been praying to God and asking for his strength to get me through some of the things I am going through right now. It has been a tremendous help to me.

I see you have two sons in your life. You are truly blessed to have children in your life. Think how life would be if they were not.

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
 
Again, thank you all.

I guess I must come to the realization that I cannot fix everything. I cannot even be of much help in THIS instance. I'd like to take her into my home (adn she even asked last year) but I cant. Her needs are WAY more than I can provide and she really can't be alone for more than short periods of time.

Sometimes, there IS no answer.
 
Loving her is big deal. And you do love her... She knows that.... see here as often as possible..
Going through a illness, the quick simple visits from my sister were a major blessing....
 
Thanks, Reba. Now, would it be a sin to slap my nephew around a bit?

Or at least VERBALLY snap his head off? Maybe in PRIVATE? PLEASE?
 
Well, she is still in the hospital. The fever is not cooperating (as of last evening). It IS a UTI and now they wonder if her kidneys have been compromised. Got to call over there now, and see what's going on.... back in a bit.
 
I could get only little out of her. She's still in (was expecting to be sent home today) and was just starting to eat dinner. She was in a GOOD mood yesterday, but not today. Actually, yesterday was the first time in over a year sh'es sounded almost happy (odd... real odd) today she was frustrated, discouraged, etc.

I think I have too sensitive or too tender of a heart. But I also fear that to NOT have a heart like that, would be like not having a real soul.

I wish she had developed cancer instead, everyone understands cancer - but even the medical field really doesn't understand M.S.
 
Pizzaguy said:
Maybe Hitch is right, God's love is not ... what I thought it was.

It can't be.
Click to expand...
It's times like this that God's love is all that there is and all that's important. Feb 17 of this year I lost my wife of 31 years. I'm sure our pain is different but I truly understand your fear and loneliness. Keep on praying brother, for your sister and for strength for yourself. Just remember that as your tears flow our Lord weeps with you and has promised to stand with you. It's kept me going for the last 2 months and I'll lean on his promises until the pain and loneliness ease just a little bit.

You will continue to be in my prayers.
God bless you my brother, Ray
 
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Thanks. Headed to bed.

At least you know that your wife is with the Lord and doing fine. I felt great relief when my Mom died, it was time for the Lord to take her, and end her time here on earth, and in that broken and failing body.

I pray for my sister to know that release, as hard as it will be to loose her, I will be SO alone - and yet I will rejoice for her!
 
Where hope is gone, there can be no happiness.

Deb's hope is gone forever. They have found no damage to the kidneys, it looks like the fever was no infection this time, but a result of the M.S. interfering with the nervous system. If it gets severe enough, it will screw up her breathing and heart rate and can kill her. (Probably not as bad of a way to go as it sounds, not sure)

The home she is in is run by a lady who likes it warm, around 75 to 80. Deb's M.S. paralyzes her above about 72. She has actually told me, just now, that living with her awful husband was better (can't believe she said that) because the ONE thing he did, was maintain the house at 70 year around.

The lady refuses to A/C the house and (in GEORGIA?) she keeps the damn windows open a lot (in THIS HUMIDITY?) I've been over there, it IS uncomfortable, wonder what will happen when it gets to 94F this summer?????

The only option is to get her moved (and I can't do that, I can't do a damn thing). Or move her in with me, but THAT means that I'd have to care for her and (I guess) pay for in home care (she can't get in and out of bed without a lift, which she owns, she can't bathe herself, etc. She is an invalid.)

I'm just disgusted, over all.
 
I guess my real problem is, I can't fix her life and cant be responsible for the mistakes she has made in her life to this point.

I can barely tolerate the mistakes I have made to this point - and I live with those consequences each day. But with all that she dumps on me, it's like I'm also living with HER consequences, too.

It angers me that such a giving and good person is alone - or almost alone. Her son is worthless and I have considered going over to his apartment and giving him a verbal butt-kicking. Probably won't do him any good (it could) but it would probably make ME feel better!

I feel for her, but cannot seem to get to the point where I settle on this and listen to my friends who say: "It's not your problem and it's not your doing."

Deb has been kinda arrogant over the years and SELDOM ever asked anyone for advice, but always gives advice - no matter if it is wanted or not. She has explained SOME of the problems in her marriage, but I am only getting one side of the story. I wish I could ask Frank for his side of things, but he's changed his phone numbers and I can't contact him unless I drive 90 miles and just go see him.

I am almost getting to where I resent all of this, the stealing of any joy I have, over my sister's plight. Fact is, no matter what, if she didn't have M.S., most of the rest would not matter. She'd be living her life with or without Frank and would be just fine.

M.S. is the REAL problem here. It is truly the worst condition I can think of, or at least the way it is progressing with Deb, it is. (It progresses differently with various patients.)

I should be enjoying my time these days. Life, work, finances, etc. are good right now. And soon, I am going to be OLD and probably get ill and frail myself.

I'd like to enjoy these next years while I can. And NOT feel so guilty about Deb's misery every time I feel good. :sad The Dragon weekend was great for me, cause I went three days ALMOST without giving a guilt-ridden thought to all of this.

I ask for your prayers for Deb and I. And any advice, input or wisdom is appreciated, too.
 
For me and my problems, I had to turn to God and pray about everything that was troubling me, and do something I have not done in the past. Put it all in his hands and trust that he would show me the way. Just putting it in his hands was a great relief to me.

Is not a true Christian a follower of Christ? I always look to his example in how he dealt with things to know what I should do. Christ was always about love and forgiveness. Something I do not see in many people who profess to be Christian.

My heart goes out to you in deciding what is best to do. We are only human and make mistakes. That is why having someone in our lives who only has our best interest at heart is so important. I can only suggest what worked for me....... Prayer....prayer....prayer...heartfelt prayer.
 
I have prayed and prayed.

Will prayer heal her? No.

Will prayer changer her son? No.

Will prayer get her moved to a better, more suitable care home? Perhaps, and I am going to concentrate on praying for THAT for the time being.



I have run it over and over in my head dozens of times. I want to move her in with me, but first - I cannot care for her. Second, I travel for the company a LOT and she cannot be left home alone at all, she is an INVALID and requires constant care.

So, I will pray for a better home for her. And I am going to spend some time monday on the phone with (the probably useless) state agencies that are supposed to help with things like this.

One BIG problem with M.S. is that they need a constant temperature to live in, and usually she can't be ambulatory if it is above 70F. So, since the lady who runs the home wont' turn the damn a/c on, I am going to offer to buy a window unit just for Deb's room. I can take it over there in the morning and, if I can find one with a remote control, SHE can control the temperature in her room! If the lady won't allow it, I am going to report her on monday to social services (hate to do that, but ... I probably will do it.)
 
Pizzaguy said:
I have prayed and prayed.

Will prayer heal her? No.

Will prayer changer her son? No.

Will prayer get her moved to a better, more suitable care home? Perhaps, and I am going to concentrate on praying for THAT for the time being.



I have run it over and over in my head dozens of times. I want to move her in with me, but first - I cannot care for her. Second, I travel for the company a LOT and she cannot be left home alone at all, she is an INVALID and requires constant care.

So, I will pray for a better home for her. And I am going to spend some time monday on the phone with (the probably useless) state agencies that are supposed to help with things like this.

One BIG problem with M.S. is that they need a constant temperature to live in, and usually she can't be ambulatory if it is above 70F. So, since the lady who runs the home wont' turn the damn a/c on, I am going to offer to buy a window unit just for Deb's room. I can take it over there in the morning and, if I can find one with a remote control, SHE can control the temperature in her room! If the lady won't allow it, I am going to report her on monday to social services (hate to do that, but ... I probably will do it.)
Click to expand...

I am sorry that I didn't explain myself fully. I prayed for strength to help me through what I was going through. I also prayed and still pray for people's eyes to be open who may not have accepted God in their lives. I would probably be praying for my sister to have the strength to endure what she is going through.

I know men are problem solvers and want to be able to come up with a solution. I am not sure what your state offers, but have you talked to all the people who are involved in how her care is taken care of financially? Is the state disability involved or SSI? I'm sorry to ask that if you have already stated it earlier in the thread.
 
Thirstyone said:
I am sorry that I didn't explain myself fully. I prayed for strength to help me through what I was going through. I also prayed and still pray for people's eyes to be open who may not have accepted God in their lives. I would probably be praying for my sister to have the strength to endure what she is going through.

I know men are problem solvers and want to be able to come up with a solution. I am not sure what your state offers, but have you talked to all the people who are involved in how her care is taken care of financially? Is the state disability involved or SSI? I'm sorry to ask that if you have already stated it earlier in the thread.
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On Monday I am going to make some calls - she is in charge of her own affairs and I don't know specifics. But she IS on disability and medicaid or medicare.

Im going to make some calls, but already know that growing old and ill in Georgia means that a lot of stuff is done for you and you are cared for well, if you have a lot of insurance and money. If you don't have both, nothing much happens.

But again, I am going to make some calls and see what I can turn up. I am not confident, but I am going to try.
 
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