Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,230
- 10,717
I'm 38. labeled with "Schizophrenia." and...
nearly 10 years into truly knowing Jesus (long story...I think my worldview/outlook is only recently in line with Scripture, but...work in progress....), I find...
I've been made healthy! I'm smart! I even have good social skills, write well, keep a clean place! My parents love me and are kind to me! And...
thankfully, I only have to go to the clinic for med checks every 3-4 months and then counseling maybe every 6 weeks, tops. no big deal, right? yeah...about that...
for whatever reason(s), junk from my way back psych records -- I'm saying well over 10, some back to 20 years ago (!) -- are being thrown out at me, in the forms of taunts and ridicule...
at my modest, nice place...its a safer part of town. not deluxe, but -nice- , and...yeah. yeah.
I tend to (over)analyze. what's this about? People wake me up periodically, 1-3 AM or so. If I try to nap, sometimes it'll happen, again. again: not a rough neighborhood, but probably because of my past and other factors, I'm in the "not welcome here" category. -blah-
I don't know...what to do. I cling to certain verses and segments of verses, especially when the junk gets more intense..."washed and made clean," "...new creation in Christ Jesus..." and "he whom The Son has set free is free, indeed..."
not just to feel better (although feelings are important and no one enjoys feeling condemned and despised), but also because: Truth. Truth is rare in "the real world," etc., so clinging to Truth is 100x better than clinging to pop psychology or reaching for a prescribed sedative. and so...
I just get worried and fearful, but He's brought me a long, long way. "...perfect love casteth out all fear..." truth? Especially since there are little markers that let me know its happening, not just in my mind -- a bottle left in my plants, colored marker streaks on my front door -- I also see thru the lies of the whole "severely mentally for life, forever and ever, amen" view of distress. This is real, it is really happening. It could...really, truly be infinitely worse, but...ugh. -frustrating-
please pray for my loving and wonderful parents...and for me, to have what I need to bear up under it and grow in my relationship with Jesus thru it. Thanks
nearly 10 years into truly knowing Jesus (long story...I think my worldview/outlook is only recently in line with Scripture, but...work in progress....), I find...
I've been made healthy! I'm smart! I even have good social skills, write well, keep a clean place! My parents love me and are kind to me! And...
thankfully, I only have to go to the clinic for med checks every 3-4 months and then counseling maybe every 6 weeks, tops. no big deal, right? yeah...about that...
for whatever reason(s), junk from my way back psych records -- I'm saying well over 10, some back to 20 years ago (!) -- are being thrown out at me, in the forms of taunts and ridicule...
at my modest, nice place...its a safer part of town. not deluxe, but -nice- , and...yeah. yeah.
I tend to (over)analyze. what's this about? People wake me up periodically, 1-3 AM or so. If I try to nap, sometimes it'll happen, again. again: not a rough neighborhood, but probably because of my past and other factors, I'm in the "not welcome here" category. -blah-
I don't know...what to do. I cling to certain verses and segments of verses, especially when the junk gets more intense..."washed and made clean," "...new creation in Christ Jesus..." and "he whom The Son has set free is free, indeed..."
not just to feel better (although feelings are important and no one enjoys feeling condemned and despised), but also because: Truth. Truth is rare in "the real world," etc., so clinging to Truth is 100x better than clinging to pop psychology or reaching for a prescribed sedative. and so...
I just get worried and fearful, but He's brought me a long, long way. "...perfect love casteth out all fear..." truth? Especially since there are little markers that let me know its happening, not just in my mind -- a bottle left in my plants, colored marker streaks on my front door -- I also see thru the lies of the whole "severely mentally for life, forever and ever, amen" view of distress. This is real, it is really happening. It could...really, truly be infinitely worse, but...ugh. -frustrating-
please pray for my loving and wonderful parents...and for me, to have what I need to bear up under it and grow in my relationship with Jesus thru it. Thanks