Stay At Home Moms

[randydpalmer]

I have a question and concern with some other non Christians that I work with, who I am trying to get to go to church. I am constantly trying to get new people who are not in worship to join church, and start their personal journey with the lord.

I am getting bombarded by a group of three individuals at my place of employment on what price so called Stay At Home Soccer Moms have to pay. These guys keep telling me stuff like "Well, it's real easy if you are a woman, and stay at home, and use the excuse that you have to take care of the kids, while approximately 92% of all women in the world work, and have kids. I took offense to this".

These guys say how when they go to church, and when the pastor is talking about all of the grief that people are going through every day with having to make a Mortgage Payment, Car Payment, Health Insurance payment, Gas & Lights Bill Payment, Water Bill Payment, Cell Phone Bill Payment, etc., that married women, who don't work, ask themselves " What is the pastor talking about, I don't have to worry about any of those things, that is my husband's problem to take care of".

I told them, my brother has a wife, who is a Stay At Home Mom, works hard, and takes care of the kids, and that is her job. They said, well, here in America, over 91% of all women who work full time have kids, and does everything your sister does.

They are telling me that most most of these women, not all, but most, use the kids as an excuse to stay at home because they really just don't want to have to get up and go to work at a job every day like the rest of the population.

How does a pastor's message really even apply to many of the women who here a sermon during church on a given Sunday with all of the problems that people are facing, when most all of the issues, or problems that the pastor is talking about concern working men, and not the moms who get to stay at home, and only have a short period of their lives that are hectic, ie: the early years while the kids are toddlers and growing up?

I need to be able to answer these questions that these guys are throwing at me, and I need to get them in church! One teacher also told me and another lady "How can a women who is living in India, and has never even heard anything about Jesus Christ go to hell for eternity, and a woman here in America who is a Stay At Home Mom, or Soccer Mom never have to work one day of her life at a job site, go to heaven? That's a tough one for me to answer back. Please help! Thank you!

 

[Caroline H]

How can they think that just because a wife is not working outside the home, that a message about paying bills and things like that have nothing to do with her? Many women stay at home with the children because it is a choice that her husband hand her have made together, and to them it is more important for her to stay home and raise their children rather than send them to daycare for 8 hours a day letting strangers raise them. But even then, unless a woman's job pays a lot, she often ends up working just to afford daycare costs...which is just not worth it to some. So if a woman stays home (which, by the way, is NOT an easy, sit on your butt all day job), she not only is concerned about running her household and raising her children, she is also usually trying to find ways to help her husband meet the family's needs. Of course it is important and relevant to her, and to say otherwise sounds quite ignorant of the reality of what a stay at home mother does.

Not only that, how often really do they hear a sermon about paying bills when they go to church? That really just sounds like a silly argument.

 

[Mike]

I have a question and concern with some other non Christians that I work with, who I am trying to get to go to church. I am constantly trying to get new people who are not in worship to join church, and start their personal journey with the lord.

I'm a firm advocate for corporate worship. I've disputed others who reject communing with other Christians in a church and insist on walking alone. That said, I'm not sure I'd be pushing "church" on people as much as softening their hearts enough just to talk about faith matters.

I am getting bombarded by a group of three individuals at my place of employment on what price so called Stay At Home Soccer Moms have to pay. These guys keep telling me stuff like "Well, it's real easy if you are a woman, and stay at home, and use the excuse that you have to take care of the kids, while approximately 92% of all women in the world work, and have kids. I took offense to this".

My wife stayed home until our youngest was in 1st grade, and then she started working while they were in school. The only tough thing about that is she isn't able to help out at school and attend as many field trips for our younger ones as she did for the older. But she stayed home when they were younger. We had to do without a number of things that other people were upgrading to (poor us ;)), but we wouldn't change a thing, looking back. Anyone who has ever stayed home with the kids would agree that it is exhausting, mentally as much as physically. Anyone who disagrees probably never has, or they're trying to validate leaving their kids with other people. IMO, no one can replace a child's mother, except maybe their father. I did that stint a few times when my wife went on a few 10-day mission trips. I took the time off work to stay home with the kids. When she got home, I was waiting in the driveway with the kids so she could take them for a while so I could get out of the house and do... anything!

I'm not going to condemn parents who both work. I would advise against it, but this is their decision. In the U.S. we've had a tough go of it in the past 10 years. Many households are trapped in a house they can't sell, so they're doing everything possible to make ends meet amidst lost jobs and lower incomes. So, everyone has to do what they have to to make ends meet.

One teacher also told me and another lady "How can a women who is living in India, and has never even heard anything about Jesus Christ go to hell for eternity, and a woman here in America who is a Stay At Home Mom, or Soccer Mom never have to work one day of her life at a job site, go to heaven? That's a tough one for me to answer back. Please help! Thank you!

This doesn't make much sense to me. How are they connecting the duties of a "soccer mom" with going to Heaven? This is disjointed thinking and unrelated. If the over-all question was about people going to hell because they never heard about Jesus, I would say this: Everyone is given a certain revelation of the Lord, and they need to acknowledge and bow down to that revelation. Some have heard the Gospel, and I believe they need to repent and accept Jesus as their Savior. Others have been given no more than His Creation to be in amazement of, and they need to acknowledge Him through that. He is making Himself known in some way, and they will be held accountable for their response. We send missionaries to distant parts of the world, because the surest way to be certain of our salvation is to hear the Gospel, repent and put our faith in Christ.

Welcome to CFnet! I hope to hear back from you! :yes

 

[handy]

Well, I've been on both sides of the fence on this one...

From the time I graduated college at 21 to the time we adopted our daughter when I was 40, I was a career woman. I worked as an assistant director/head teacher at a daycare, as the director of a before and after school care program then changed careers and worked doing bids and proposals to sell computers to the government.

Then, when we adopted our daughter, I became a full time stay at home mom. Gone were things like set work hours, lunch hours with co-workers, breaks and chat at the watercooler, weekends off, paid vacations and the sense that by the end of the day, or maybe at the end of a project, things were "finished". SAHM's work is NEVER finished, one is NEVER off, one always is being there for one's family. All day, everyday, 365 days a year. Add to that, in these modern times, one is marginalized as "not doing anything".

In all the various jobs that I had, in the day-care business and in the computer business, being a SAHM has been by far, off the charts far, the hardest thing I have ever done...and it comes generally with a sense of never having accomplished anything worthwhile. I mean, I know it isn't true...I know the worth of what I'm doing and I wouldn't trade these years with my kids for the world. But, I get the kids off to school, feed the animals, clean the house, do laundry, cook food, do dishes, go to bed and the very next morning the kids need to get to school, the animals need feeding, laundry needs to be done, food needs to be cooked...you get the idea.

Plus, like most SAHM's our family finances are my jurisdiction. Hubby makes the money yes, but it is up to me to pay the bills, budget wisely and save and trim costs because we have just the one income. Also, since my hubby works full time (and I don't) the pressure is on me to find ways to increase the family income, so I work part time as a church secretary, drive a "working" mom's kids to school because she can't do it since she's "working" (and I'm not)...not to mention take care of her kids for her when they can't go to school because she's "working" (and I'm not), and do substitute teaching and some free-lance secretarial work when I can find it. This on top of keeping up with the needs of our cattle, feeding and watering them twice daily, staying up with heifers when it's time for birthing, getting them rounded up when it's time for shots or loading them for market.

In spite of all of this, my mother-in-law (whom I love dearly and get along great with) who was a working woman when her kids were little (her mom lived next door and babysat until my f-i-l took an early retirement)...keeps "suggesting" possible part-time positions because we are financially strapped and I "don't work". Last time she "suggested" another part time job to me, I must admit I very rudely laughed in her face. I then asked her when she thought I would have the time to do the job and she pointed out that I could drop the kids off at school and just go on from there. I then asked her who would come back and take care of the animals, including her own cats, dogs and goats, which I feed and water twice a day from Tuesday afternoon to Thursday night, because they stay at their house in town. She had sort of forgotten about that...

So, the next time these guys start in on the whole stay-at-home-mom thing, you might want to suggest that they might not know what the heck they are talking about.

As for taking them to church...I myself don't believe that church is for non-Christians...by definition the church are the believers, what we are doing when were in the building together is worshiping God and non-Christians truly cannot worship God as long as they are not believers.

Truly it sounds as if they are just throwing up dust to obscure the message of the gospel. I think if I were in your situation, I would just prayerfully look for ways to share the gospel with them rather than invite them to church. As Mike said, they need their heart softened to faith matters.

 

[AbsolutelyDarling]

"here in America, over 91% of all women who work full time have kids, and does everything your sister does. "
and isnt that whats so wonderful about being in America, than you can pick if you want to stay home or work? lol

 

[Strangelove]

You don't evangelize the Gospel by trying to get people to attend a church building.

Be a light of godliness to them, a good Christian example, show your fruit.

When they ask for advice, tell them to read the Gospel accounts.

 

[handy]

"here in America, over 91% of all women who work full time have kids, and does everything your sister does. "
and isnt that whats so wonderful about being in America, than you can pick if you want to stay home or work? lol

Another assertion that I'm going to challenge...that working women do everything that SAHM's do...

I'm challenging that because from personal experience and from the time I worked in day-care centers, I'm pretty positive that working mom's don't do all the things SAHM's do. Often, as a SAHM, even out here in the boonies, I get called upon all the time to pick up working mom's kids, babysit them when they are sick, cart kids and their things to and from school for projects and PTA events because the mom is working. When I worked at the day care, it was the same story...working mom's scrambling to find someone to jump in the gap when things came up with the kids that mom couldn't attend to because she was working.

Not knocking working mom's here, I know they have a rough row to hoe because too often the demands of their jobs counter the needs of their kids...and too often its the needs of the kids that get delegated out to someone else, grandparents, a SAHM, or a babysitter. Sadly this is necessary because if the mom keeps taking time off to attend to the needs of the kids, she will get fired...something I've seen more than once. I remember well the bind one poor woman was in when her child got the chicken pox and she couldn't leave her at the day care...she took time off work, and was fired.

As passionate as I'm sounding about the working mom vs. SAH mom though, I don't think this is the real issue in this thread...to me, what is more important is how to share the gospel with non-believers.

Doc, you said, "You don't evangelize the Gospel by trying to get people to attend a church building." I agree, I agree completely.

Randy, the thread is yours, perhaps you can clarify what is more important for you to discuss, convincing these guys of the worth of SAHM's or how to effectively share the gospel in the workplace. I've pretty strong opinions on both subjects! ;)