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Stress

That's not true! I think that's the problem right there you look down on yourself but you shouldn't because assuming your a christian your God's daughter; and than how do you know that out of 6 billion people in the world (lets say half are guys) that God won't bring the right one to you that love you for you. BUT if you don't want to marry to serve Jesus instead that's admirable and a different story. BUT thinking I don't want to love anyone because I don't think anybody well love me is not right. I don't think you should write off meeting a guy that you will like, besides I don't think we can help who we like, that is just my opinion :)
 
Jesus'sGirl said:
I don't know what I want anymore. I'm so distraught.
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The only decision that's critical right now is your decision for Christ. IMHO, you are putting too much on yourself. My suggestion is to wait on the Lord and be prepared to follow where He Leads you. Sometimes that's hard to do, in fact it's almost always hard to do. But in your case, you've said you feel a certain way right now. That's fine! You're young, and hopefully you have a long life ahead of you. If there comes a time he puts a man on your heart and you feel prepared to share your life with him, that's a decision that you will need to make then. As for now, don't let others add to your stress you're putting on yourself. If you are in Christ, you're in a good place. Everything else is product of the expectations this world places on you. Seek affirmation from Him, and try not to be distracted by the desire to receive it from others. I used to have this as my signature here, because there's so much packed into these verses. :)

Romans 11
"33 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34 “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
35 “Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?”
36 For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen."

God has our lives traced out, and only He knows the paths they will take. The key is to be in that place where we trust in Him and make ourselves willing participants in His desire for our lives. Be at ease this day, and count each day as an opportunity He gives you to be faithful to Him.
 
Jesus'sGirl said:
..I don't want to marry but people I'm around, including my family, say I have to. ...
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Jesus'sGirl: Well, you know the saying, Marry in haste, repent at leisure. Surely your family would see the sense of this, that you should feel under no compulsion.
 
Not sure how welcome sexual orientation talk is, but you sound a bit Gray A to me. Gray A is a term for people who are almost asexual but not quite. It includes people who are hyposexual and people who are sexual but aromantic. I think the second might apply to you based on what you said about not wanting to get emotionally close to anyone. Not sure if this is a ridiculous interpretation, but it seemed to me like you meant you didn't feel romantically attracted to anyone. Most sexual people would have had a crush on at least one person before their 20s, so it may be an indication that you are Gray A.

I don't want to get married, and my family and friends are against my decision, so I feel like I can commiserate. I think marriage is overrated in our culture. Too many people marry unquestioningly, causing multitudes of divorces and unhappy marriages. Marriage should be FOR LIFE. If you have no intention of having a lifelong relationship then it would be WRONG for you to get married, no matter how much your spouse is in love with you or how much your family and friends pressure you. I think we can all agree that no one wants you to get a divorce or be in an unhappy marriage. If you know that marrying a certain person will result in one of those two things, then DON'T get married to that person. If that becomes true for everyone you meet, then you SHOULD be single.

I'm not sure how to get your family and friends off your back forever, but what works for me, at least in the short-term, is asking them how they can expect me to stay in a lifelong relationship if I don't want to. Try to get them to think about the negative consequences of marrying against your will (i.e. divorce, unhappiness). That usually gets them to shut up for a while. It's a bit of a minor annoyance to me, so I don't worry too much about it. If their pestering is really bothering you, then you can tell them what it is they're saying that makes you feel stressed out. Most people who aren't out to tick you off or aren't narcissistic will back off a little if you're very specific about undesirable behavior and why it's undesirable. Good luck!
 
I am definitely not asexual. I get turned on so easily which is hard when you have no sex outlet. I don't believe in masturbation since God created sex to be a gift for married couples to bond and become one with each other, also procreation. I also have crushed on a million guys since I was little. I don't want to become emotional with a guy because I have made marriage an idol in the past. Its a gift from God, even God and Jesus are engaged to Israel and the Church, but I craved it badly. Then when the Lord revealed to me that He loves me more than anyone could, it wasnt an idol anymore. Now my sex drive is insane and I know I need marriage but I don't want to live for it like I did before. I don't want it to become an idol anymore.
 
farouk said:
Fine as well, but Jesus'sGirl's view is also worthy of respect.
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Not sure how you understood what I said as being disrespectful towards Jesus's Girl's views.... Its not good to imply such things farouk.


Jesus'sGirl said:
I am definitely not asexual. I get turned on so easily which is hard when you have no sex outlet. I don't believe in masturbation since God created sex to be a gift for married couples to bond and become one with each other, also procreation. I also have crushed on a million guys since I was little. I don't want to become emotional with a guy because I have made marriage an idol in the past. Its a gift from God, even God and Jesus are engaged to Israel and the Church, but I craved it badly. Then when the Lord revealed to me that He loves me more than anyone could, it wasnt an idol anymore. Now my sex drive is insane and I know I need marriage but I don't want to live for it like I did before. I don't want it to become an idol anymore.
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I am in the exact same boat as you except for me, it wasn't about making an idol of marriage it was just about having a girlfriend. Before I was a christian this was all that I wanted but now I see marriage as the best choice. When I became a christian I lost my "lustful" drive, but I know that I want to get married and the sooner the better. I don't think its bad to want marriage? You said your parents are pressuring you, is it a cultural thing or do they just want to see the best for you?
 
Was supposed to help out with the childrens church but they didn't need me today. I decided to go to the church service and it was all about praying for God's will! God definitely led me there! Praise Him!
 
Sounds like this is between you and God. I really like how you post. I laughed out loud at some of your replies. (Not at you of course) :)
 
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