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Teen Sex At Home

Lewis

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Safer Sex? Some Parents Allow Their Teens to Have Sex Inside Family Home

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Some Parents Allow Their Teens to Have Sex in Family Home - ABC News

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Controversial Parenting: Sex Allowed Inside Home




By MARY PFLUM
June 22, 2011



Patty Skudlarek strives to be a responsible parent. That's why she says she told her 18-year-old son that if he wants to have sex, not only is she okay with it, but she'd prefer that he do it in the family home.
"I'd rather he … do it here than somewhere else," Skudlarek told "Good Morning America." "With the kids having sex at home, it's a safer environment, because, you know, it's clean … and usually the place they keep the condoms are in their bedroom.
"So then they're close by. And it's just ... an environment they're familiar with, as opposed to a motel, a car or a park, or wherever they're doing it, these days."
Skudlarek isn't alone. The Internet message boards are abuzz, telling the story of a small but growing number of parents who are allowing their teenagers to have sex at home.
Heather Blackmore is aware of the chatter. An article she posted this month about a woman who allows her teenage son to have sex with his girlfriend in his bedroom set off a firestorm, with some accusing the mother of running a "cheap motel."

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Blackmore says that was not the woman's intent.
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A small but growing number of parents allow... View Full Size

"I think … it was more of the attitude, 'Well, kids are going to do it anyway. Why not make it so that it-- it's in a comfortable, safer environment,' as opposed to in a woods," she said.
Some parents – like Chloe Foreht – say allowing teens to have sex at home ensures they have somewhere to run if anything goes wrong. She allowed her 17-year-old daughter to engage in a sexual relationship with her longtime boyfriend in the family home.
"I was okay with her having sex in my home because of the relationship she was in, because of the teenager that she is … her boyfriend would sleep over probably once a week. And I was comfortable with that," Foreht said.
She joined three other parents of teens to discuss the issue with "Good Morning America" contributor Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
Ritchie Steinmann, the father of two teens, was against the idea.
"I draw the assimilation between sex in the home and drinking … You don't drink in my home. You know, you don't bring home a girl or a boy, you know, and close the door and run around in my home. You know, it's the decency and sanctity of what we call home," he said.
Foreht disagreed.
" I think that they're really completely different issues. And I think that, you know, my daughter … does have respect for our home."
She also said she believed that hidden sex could be more risky.
"If they're having it outside the home … who knows who they're having it with? You know, it's -- there's a bigger chance, I think, of less safe sex, maybe more different partners. You know, not understanding that it is something that is okay if you're doing it with somebody you really care about and you want to do it and, you know, you're not all drunk at a party."
Some of the panelists seemed to long for earlier times when teens would steal away to have sex in the back seat of cars.
"I'm not sure that I personally would feel comfortable being at home knowing that my teenager is having sex in the next room," Carolyn Meyer-Wartels, who has two teens, said, laughing. "And I think that parents do need to create boundaries in the home and say things like, 'I don't think you're ready to be doing this. I don't think you're ready to be doing this here or anywhere, for that matter.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/parents-te...ious/gqlf+(Christian+Headlines+Top+Headlines)
 
It was 1972, I got my girlfriend pregnant, and she had a bad family situation, so my mom and dad, because she was pregnant allowed her to stay with us. With the pretense that I would not sleep with her anymore, YEAH RIGHT, every time they turned around I was in the bed with her. At first my mom and dad were separated, and my mom had an apartment so Delilah was staying with my mom, and me with my dad. But I was over my moms everyday and spending the night most nights, and then my mom and dad got back together, and my mom moved back home and the sex between me and Delilah in my parents house continued, it was the very same house that she got pregnant in, in the first place. Then my son was born in December of 1973.
 
I've known a lot of parents that go the "well, the kids are going to do it anyway, so let's make sure it's "safe" route" and guess what...their kids have sex.

I've also known a lot of parents that set the standard that sex is for marriage not for the back of the bleachers, or the back seat of a car...and guess what?

Many of those kids do not have sex. I didn't have sex when I was a teen. Neither did my sisters, or one of my two brothers-in-law. Nor a number of my girl friends and guy friends, nor most of my nieces and nephews.

Kids won't automatically "do it anyway" any more than they're automatically going to go out drinking, do drugs or engage in any other kind of high-risk, self destructive behavior.

This whole idea of "kids will do it anyway" comes from the "free love" hippie generation. They didn't want to exercise self-control in sex, so they try to convince everyone that self-control of sexual impulses is impossible.

Even my daughter and son know that's a lie.

My husband's aunt and uncle went the route of "kids are going to do it anyway" and bought their son condoms and spermicide and taught him about "safe sex". He was a dad by 16. He married the mom, but they're divorced now.
 
Dora you are right about the Hippie thing because that is just how we saw it, we would have sex parties.
 
I think the attitude that Kids are going to do it anyway is just lazy. I actually kind of agree with the Mother's point about them being in a safe environment and stressing the point of only having sex with people you care for.

I find the ideas of Sex only when married and the Kids are going to do it anyway to be 2 complete extremes that end badly or miss the point. I think parents should take time to discuss with there kids the reasons why they are concerned with sex and what can go wrong. Though I also feel people are way to uptight and over glorify sex in this culture as is.

What I mean by that, is for some reason in our media Sex seems to be the paramount achievement in out society and drives most of our ad campaigns and even social politics. Though that could just be a natural instinct that is left over from our primitive years.
 
What I mean by that, is for some reason in our media Sex seems to be the paramount achievement in out society and drives most of our ad campaigns and even social politics. Though that could just be a natural instinct that is left over from our primitive years.
Speaking of extremes, I think the Church's emphasis as sex outside of marriage being the most horrific sin to face someone is also out of line, and probably a knee-jerk reaction to what you describe above.

There is probably no time in the history of mankind that sex before marriage didn't happen. What's the old saying "The first baby can come at any time, all the rest take 9 months"...

But, there is no denying that since the late 60's early 70's, sexual promiscuity has ran rampant and has severely damaged families. I think the mothers in the article are trying to do what they deem is best in a sexually overcharged world.

However, there is no reason to believe that if we set the bar higher than "I know you're going to have sex, so here's a condom", many kids, most kids even, will respond.

In my family, there are a LOT of kids. And, the third generation, my nieces and nephews, were all teens in the late 90's and early 2000's. With three exceptions, they were all virgins until marriage. It is just what is expected in our family. And, most who married, married virgins as well. For the three that engaged in sex prior to marriage...nobody was tossed out on their ears...they're still well loved members of the family.

But the fact that so many maintained the ideal of no sex outside of marriage shows that that the idea of no sex outside of marriage isn't all that extreme. It really has been the standard for most civilizations historically. This goes far beyond a "Christian" or even "Judeo-Christian" moral....this is something so basic in so many societies throughout the history of mankind that I think we can just consider it a truth.

Just a truth that's very much under attack in our promiscuous society of today.
 
Is it? I come from a smaller community, and I don't see this phenominon.

Yeah, it's not "normal" around here either. As a matter of fact around here, the parent could be opening herself up to liability if the minor child contacted a disease or was otherwise hurt.

This reminds me of the parents who have "drinking parties" at their own home..supposedly with face-to-face verbal permission from all parents. The kids are "locked in" so to speak and not allowed to leave, but can drink while at the house.

A man got busted and pulled some jail time for doing that. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor, serving alcohol to a minor and a few other things.
 
In the big cities it is normal, II see it all the time. It is not supposed to be done but it is. When you live with millions of people like I do here in Philly, you are going to see some of everything.
 
Speaking of extremes, I think the Church's emphasis as sex outside of marriage being the most horrific sin to face someone is also out of line, and probably a knee-jerk reaction to what you describe above.
I think its just a cultural backlash from what you stated later on in your post. Usually extremes are met with extremes and it takes a while for the dust to settle and the majoirty of people are reasonable on these subjects again.

There is probably no time in the history of mankind that sex before marriage didn't happen. What's the old saying "The first baby can come at any time, all the rest take 9 months"...

But, there is no denying that since the late 60's early 70's, sexual promiscuity has ran rampant and has severely damaged families. I think the mothers in the article are trying to do what they deem is best in a sexually overcharged world.
I somewhat agree, but from a differen't angle. I think the main reason Sex becames such a past time is due to how durring the 40s and 50s the US became really prudish and very constrictive on social norms. Causing a tensed explosion of sexual energy.

However, there is no reason to believe that if we set the bar higher than "I know you're going to have sex, so here's a condom", many kids, most kids even, will respond.

In my family, there are a LOT of kids. And, the third generation, my nieces and nephews, were all teens in the late 90's and early 2000's. With three exceptions, they were all virgins until marriage. It is just what is expected in our family. And, most who married, married virgins as well. For the three that engaged in sex prior to marriage...nobody was tossed out on their ears...they're still well loved members of the family.

But the fact that so many maintained the ideal of no sex outside of marriage shows that that the idea of no sex outside of marriage isn't all that extreme. It really has been the standard for most civilizations historically. This goes far beyond a "Christian" or even "Judeo-Christian" moral....this is something so basic in so many societies throughout the history of mankind that I think we can just consider it a truth.

Just a truth that's very much under attack in our promiscuous society of today.
I think its now a kind of cold war when it comes to sex. What is extreme and what isn't? I think that maybe in 10 years we'll see a slow down of sexual exploration and a more moderate turn. Usually things boil over then simer down then boil again.

Life is interesting that way.
 
The PILL has made a big difference in sexual activity.

The early sixties us high school girls knew what being pregnant meant. We new sex led to a child. We knew who would be sorta shunned and who would be slapped on the back.

Not saying girls/kids did not have sex but we did not think a "date" was a sexual partner.

My high school years 1960-64
 
I completely agree with Dora! I, also, was raised in a large city where sex crimes were the norm but being normal behavior does not make it right or legal in the eye of God! Because I was raised in a house where incest was normal, I had sex, at home, with all of my girl-friends. There were no condoms offered and none were used. It is only by the grace of my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus, that children were not conceived. This incest ran as far beck in my family as I can track my ancestry and the harm because of it is tremendous to the point of destroying paternal and maternal relationships and Felony Criminal Records. Sex, before or, outside of marriage is a very bad thing for any family and all of my family history is filled with divorce.

It is only the fool that considers not teaching their children to honor God and themselves by abstaining until marriage. Virginity is the greatest and the most precious gift a you person can offer to his or her life mate!
 
You know something, the sexual practices of the Romans during Biblical times can rival, and in many cases surpass what is going on today. Also young girls were having sex on a wide scale not only in Rome and Greece and Egypt, but everywhere.
 
You know something, the sexual practices of the Romans during Biblical times can rival, and in many cases surpass what is going on today. Also young girls were having sex on a wide scale not only in Rome and Greece and Egypt, but everywhere.
I really don't think its sex itself that is the problem, but the attitudes around it. I have a feeling I know where you where headed Lewis, but I think claiming sex was a major factor might be reading to far into the situation and ignoring the whole of the point that the New Testament was making.

I think the attitude of doing risky behavior and not caring about the consequences is the real problem. Instant gratification while throwing caution to the wind. The problems are more complicated then just stating sex, it involves the reasons behind sex and why the person is doing it.

I also think that marriage in itself isn't the be all end all of sexual morality, because it still ignores why sex was important to begin with and what dose a ritual have to do with figuring out if a person is mature enough for sex?
 
i guess we shouldnt stress go ole fashioned self-control. i mean anger is hard to control. so lets the kids fight and do it in the parents house or have an mma match in school if two kids want to fight.

man, i liked sex as sinner but sheesh. God knows i wish i waited and avoided the male pitfalls of being the army that lewis knows about.(porn)

i dont miss that stuff, is it really that hard to say.hey mom or dad i like girls or boys and what should i do ? sureley a parent should sit down and talk. i wish i went to my parents even after high school. numb nuts here feel in love with an exotic dancer. what was i thinking?
 
ideally if two virgins marry its less likely that the marriage will fail. we teach try the person"first" and see. if you cant wait for that person then you already set up to fail. theres more to marriage then sex.

if any man has a spouse in menopause they will learn that if the spouse looses desire for it totally. should my wife divorce me and i her for this struggle as i went through an issue with not wanting it.nothing medical but to do habit already mentioned and now that that gone. its back,lol. and now she due to medications has lost desire. it comes and goes.

you know what i still love my wife. its not perfect but i made the vows and jason is a man of his word.
 
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