My husband and I tried a few churches in our area and like @Edward they were not for us and what we needed.
I kind of thought about this, but I had the thought that, what if that is the church that He needs me in? To help them, or be the hands and mouth for God to help them? I suppose it's possible. I did pray about it and what is your will here Lord? Is this church approved by you for me? ...and haven't really got an answer on that one yet, so I don't know.
But the Lord works in mysterious ways at times and I sure wouldn't want to not go to a church that He wanted me at...I actually don't like that thought, but it really isn't up to me, it is His will and not mine so I have to remain open for that possibility. That's how the Lord rolls sometimes too, I pray for something and He answers it in the worst way possible for me, to do something that I don't want to do!
Like I prayed for Him to teach me to love others...the way that He loves me...and I'm pretty sure that He sent the most obnoxious guy in the neighborhood into my life so I could learn it with him. He's very hard to talk to and misunderstands so much that I say. He gets offended real easy. It dawned on me that this might have been the Lords doing in response to my prayer...If I could learn to love this neighbor as myself, then I would be doing very good, lol! It seemed sort of impossible at first but, remembering the Lords words, What we do unto others is like doing it unto Jesus Him self, I have hung in there and try to talk to the man, be friends with him and help him and his mom some. He has tried to take advantage of that with me a few times and I cautiously turn him down at those times when he tries to get me to do things for him. But then I'll not answer the door for a few days and then answer it and surprise him with a kindness again, when it is my idea though and not when he tries to order me to do things for him. He has taken a 'tone' with me a couple times in my own house like he was ordering me to make him a sandwich and coffee. I could not let this guy take that tone with and I actually booted him out for itone time and told him to go home now. Your mama or your wife don't live here. See ya'! He was just testing me and my limits so I had to let him know that I have limits.
Actually, I think I am making progress with the man now. He came over earlier and I fed him some snacks and coffee and gave him a few bucks to help him out (and his mom too). I met her once and I don't think she likes me. She is a very old elderly black lady that has prolly led a hard life and hasn't got much now...and her son is 2 months younger than me (56) and living with her. She gets mad at him and locks him out sometimes! So I think she thinks that, any friend of Johnnies must be a deadbeat punk or something?
Not many people in the neighborhood like this guy. I invited him to ride to the drive through with me about 10 days ago and he did...but when we got there and they seen Johnnie in my truck with me, they wouldn't serve me and sell me a couple packs of smokes because he was with me! I've been back since alone and they told me, sorry but he comes in here talking bad to us and calling us names because we wont give him stuff for free...beers and cigarettes. So they had to do that when he was with me.
He came over tonight and seemed like he was angry and wanting to 'tell me a thing or two' and voice his displeasure that I didn't answer the door for him last night. But my family called and I don't get to talk to them very often anymore, so if it's between my family on the phone and neighbor Johnnie, johnnie loses, no offense. It is what it is. He voiced a little bit more displeasure and it irritated me because I don't need that drama, but Bit my tongue and let him talk and finish and did not get mad and silently looked for the Lords help and Lord grant me patience! and after he finished, I asked him, did you get it all out of you now? and he just busted out laughing very hard!
So he calmed down and we had a nice visit. After he was well fed with snacks and coffee, and I sharpened his new knife for him on my belt sander, he started saying...I don't like you man. Do you know what I don't like about you? ...and I realized that he was wanting to let me know how much he is beginning to like me, but couldn't bring himself to say it like that! He's not used to that sort of social interaction. He was raised on the other side of the tracks, where his people don't talk to each other like that! I understood. He even once let it slip out of his mouth that we are good friends. That is significant becauseIMentioned we were friends before, and he made a huge point of explaining that we are not friends, we are associates. So that was very telling and made me feel pretty good. I think he is realizing that not everyone is out to get him.
Itold him about God saving my life and I am trying not to be that old man who was vindictive and cruel and mean like I used to be eons ago before I learned honor and so forth. and obeying the Lord by walking in love towards our Brothers and Sisters on this earth. It's taking lots of patience by me but I think it's rubbing off on him a little and I'm making a bit of progress. Praise the Lord!