The Reset Button

[Pard]

This question was inspired by a thread I saw in the marriage forum about whether or not people would have still married their spouse if they knew then what they know now.

Let's say there is a button. When you hit the button you start your entire life over again. However, you retain all the knowledge you originally had before hitting said button.

The question is: would you change anything in your life, and if so, what?

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For me, I think the things that come right to the top are words that I said to people. The way I have treated some people haunts me and I would very quickly fix the these things if I had the chance. It's interesting that it is words and not actions that come to mind first. A few lies I have told, things I am rather ashamed of, would be quickly rectified as well. It's interesting, when you are 14 and you tell a lie, you never imagine that 4 years later it still haunts you. I am afraid some lies will haunt me the rest of my life.

As for actions, thee are few things I would change. I think this stems from the fact that I really like the person I am right now, and I'd rather not change the actions that led me to who I am. Maybe I would have picked up around the house more. Helped my mom with the choirs. The only thing that comes to mind is when I abandoned a friend out of selfish fear.

She used to come to me, on a daily basis I may add, for counsel and support. I was the girl's rock. She had a rather rough life and I had helped her along, but I made a few mistakes, a slip of the tongue. In the end I decided to stop all communication with her because I couldn't bare being that rock any longer.

If I could I would have held my tongue. See, it is coming back to words, again. Interesting the power words have on our conscience...

 

[Mike]

In this completely hypothetical scenario (obviously), I would agree about being kinder, especially when I was younger and had a dysfunctional moral compass. I would have to say, I wouldn't want to change much, even the hard times, because I wouldn't want to take the chance that something was part of the chain of events that led to meeting my wife and having our children. I would go through all the hard times if it meant simply holding on to them.

If I could be sure some things wouldn't effect the family I have, there is a lot I would have changed. A lot of life lessons that wouldn't be necessary to endure. One that comes to mind is - Mike, don't major in Math. No one cares if you can do advanced derivatives when your marketing yourself after school!

 

[NestForASparrow]

I would have lived for God as a Christian (not merely stating I was Christian as I did in my youth) much earlier in my life.

 

[handy]

This is an interesting exercise in philosophy, Pard, because it's impossible to say what we can cut out of our past, and yet remain the person we are today.

I certainly would seek to be kinder to some folks, and not make some mistakes, to be sure. But, then when I realize that I'm a much better person for having made those mistakes and working through them, as well as having to humble myself and ask forgiveness of those that I hurt, perhaps I would be quite a ways back on my walk if I hadn't of done those things. I know I'm much more compassionate and understanding because of the things that I screwed up rather than of the things I did right the first time.

I have thought of one thing though: If I could go back, I would have broken things off with my first fiance long before he broke off with me. To my shame, I let him say some really mean things to me, use me, and take advantage of me, then he dumped me on my birthday. Yeah, I would have broken things off with him, if I was as strong then as I am now. Then again, part of the reason why I'm as strong as I am now was because I went through that, so...sheesh, once you really start thinking this through, it's a toughy!