Edward
2024 Supporter
The last 6 to 8 weeks has been very challenging for me and also, brought a lot of changes for me. I am 99% sure that I just went through a season of testing of my faith. I think I passed them all this time, by the grace of God!
So it started about 2 months ago, my attorney contacted me and said that the socil security people gave me what they call a, partially favorable decision (in my disability case). That I was I tentatively approved now, but that my present employment activities may reduce my payments, stop my payments and eligibility altogether...or not affect it at all. I guess at this job, I am making too much money for them to like it, and have been with them longer than any probationary period lasts. So from their perspective, maybe I am not disabled at all...
I applied in Oct of 2010 and they just keep denying me. Now if I had went down and got on food stamps and public assistance then I guess they would like that. But my problem with that is that, I have worked my entire life and am not a public assistance type of person. I do not need a handout. There are others who need that help much more than I do. I have been trying to hang in there until my SS case was approved. I did work for that money and since being hurt, I need it. But they routinely deny the American people their own money. So what's a guy to do, in the meantime until the case is decided? Go get a job. Try to work. Tell them about my limitations for a full days work, and hope it lasts long enough for something to happen with my case, so I can retire now. But I am a typical man. I like to eat and have lights on at home so I did go get a job...and it was a blessing from the Lord where I got a job at. Some Brothers in Christ own this company and walk in it. Very good people, God bless them. But I digress...
So if I wasn't working, then I suppose my case would be approved with no caveats. But I am. I had figured, if they eventually approve my disability case, then I quit my job and retire on my SS money. But now, oh no Ed, we are going to put your case back at hearing level and decide if you are even disabled at all...and at this point, I...am used to them taking the hard route with me and trying to deny me the money that I worked for. So I figured that, they probably will find a way to not give me my money and I will have to continue working myself anyway. So I sort of just went, Praise the Lord! Whatever happens happens and must be the will of the Lord because He is in control and what He want to come to pass, will come to pass. So I will not worry about it, become angry, stressed, shake my fist at God or any other stupid things. I will be content and look to the Lord for His will to come to pass...
Then, about a week later, I go into work on Monday...Ed, we're letting you go...now waitaminute, this job is my blessing from the Lord...how can this be? Everything was going ok between us. But it's for real! But even though it is a shock to me, I do not despair and I praise the Lord. God does not close one door, without opening another door. And then, it starts consistently. Every day some new bad thing crops up. I try to keep my sense of humor, praise the Lord...and do not worry. Then, 5 minutes or 15 minutes later something weird happens that seemingly magically makes the difficulty go away and be ok. Just like that. Praise the Lord!
Then tomorrow, something new and bad happens to me...A praise of the Lord, a prayer and contentment, but no worries...then, everything is ok again somehow...and just, over and over this has been happening. I refuse to stress about any of this though. The Lord does take care of me. I do not know what He is doing...but I go along, praising Him, praying and casting my cares at His feet. I have never been hit with so many bad things in such a short period of time in my life before! Then when I do not lose my faith, everything clicks into place again.
I keep reminding myself (or the Lord reminds me!) that, I am to be content, to just 'know' that He is moving in my life, and trust Him. So it has been a very long and strange series of events which has came to pass in my life lately. But they must be a series of tests of my faith, so I think I have passed them all or at least most of them. ...and it feels like this season is over now, of this testing. But things sure did change fast! Now I am unemployed, drawing unemployment which my old boss said go get it that he wont fight it and it should last until my ss checks start...but they said lets do another hearing since you were employed so long and made so much money...so I might not even get that after all that. But being unemployed should help my case, right? So Whatever God is doing...I trust Him...
So the SS people call my Atty the other day with an offer for me. They will cancel the hearing and approve my disability for full benefits...IF I waive all back payments. (I already had ideas for that $ if it did come). I could not agree, schedule a hearing, plead my case and win and get my back payments...or perhaps lose everything altogether. So I took the deal. The security of the monthly checks is prolly more important than back payments. So I guess I am sort of officially retired now. Just like that.
...and the Lord is being silent to me about this. I can see that He freed up a lot of my time now. I don't know what's coming next...but I do know that it will be fine because I trust Him. \
All those things that happened so fast...I didn't write about them because there are so many and was so fast. But I got maybe half dozen more new testimonies out of all this. I'm still piecing this all together what all has been happening and it is a lot. Praise our Lord!!!
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So it started about 2 months ago, my attorney contacted me and said that the socil security people gave me what they call a, partially favorable decision (in my disability case). That I was I tentatively approved now, but that my present employment activities may reduce my payments, stop my payments and eligibility altogether...or not affect it at all. I guess at this job, I am making too much money for them to like it, and have been with them longer than any probationary period lasts. So from their perspective, maybe I am not disabled at all...
I applied in Oct of 2010 and they just keep denying me. Now if I had went down and got on food stamps and public assistance then I guess they would like that. But my problem with that is that, I have worked my entire life and am not a public assistance type of person. I do not need a handout. There are others who need that help much more than I do. I have been trying to hang in there until my SS case was approved. I did work for that money and since being hurt, I need it. But they routinely deny the American people their own money. So what's a guy to do, in the meantime until the case is decided? Go get a job. Try to work. Tell them about my limitations for a full days work, and hope it lasts long enough for something to happen with my case, so I can retire now. But I am a typical man. I like to eat and have lights on at home so I did go get a job...and it was a blessing from the Lord where I got a job at. Some Brothers in Christ own this company and walk in it. Very good people, God bless them. But I digress...
So if I wasn't working, then I suppose my case would be approved with no caveats. But I am. I had figured, if they eventually approve my disability case, then I quit my job and retire on my SS money. But now, oh no Ed, we are going to put your case back at hearing level and decide if you are even disabled at all...and at this point, I...am used to them taking the hard route with me and trying to deny me the money that I worked for. So I figured that, they probably will find a way to not give me my money and I will have to continue working myself anyway. So I sort of just went, Praise the Lord! Whatever happens happens and must be the will of the Lord because He is in control and what He want to come to pass, will come to pass. So I will not worry about it, become angry, stressed, shake my fist at God or any other stupid things. I will be content and look to the Lord for His will to come to pass...
Then, about a week later, I go into work on Monday...Ed, we're letting you go...now waitaminute, this job is my blessing from the Lord...how can this be? Everything was going ok between us. But it's for real! But even though it is a shock to me, I do not despair and I praise the Lord. God does not close one door, without opening another door. And then, it starts consistently. Every day some new bad thing crops up. I try to keep my sense of humor, praise the Lord...and do not worry. Then, 5 minutes or 15 minutes later something weird happens that seemingly magically makes the difficulty go away and be ok. Just like that. Praise the Lord!
Then tomorrow, something new and bad happens to me...A praise of the Lord, a prayer and contentment, but no worries...then, everything is ok again somehow...and just, over and over this has been happening. I refuse to stress about any of this though. The Lord does take care of me. I do not know what He is doing...but I go along, praising Him, praying and casting my cares at His feet. I have never been hit with so many bad things in such a short period of time in my life before! Then when I do not lose my faith, everything clicks into place again.
I keep reminding myself (or the Lord reminds me!) that, I am to be content, to just 'know' that He is moving in my life, and trust Him. So it has been a very long and strange series of events which has came to pass in my life lately. But they must be a series of tests of my faith, so I think I have passed them all or at least most of them. ...and it feels like this season is over now, of this testing. But things sure did change fast! Now I am unemployed, drawing unemployment which my old boss said go get it that he wont fight it and it should last until my ss checks start...but they said lets do another hearing since you were employed so long and made so much money...so I might not even get that after all that. But being unemployed should help my case, right? So Whatever God is doing...I trust Him...
So the SS people call my Atty the other day with an offer for me. They will cancel the hearing and approve my disability for full benefits...IF I waive all back payments. (I already had ideas for that $ if it did come). I could not agree, schedule a hearing, plead my case and win and get my back payments...or perhaps lose everything altogether. So I took the deal. The security of the monthly checks is prolly more important than back payments. So I guess I am sort of officially retired now. Just like that.
...and the Lord is being silent to me about this. I can see that He freed up a lot of my time now. I don't know what's coming next...but I do know that it will be fine because I trust Him. \
All those things that happened so fast...I didn't write about them because there are so many and was so fast. But I got maybe half dozen more new testimonies out of all this. I'm still piecing this all together what all has been happening and it is a lot. Praise our Lord!!!
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