Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,242
- 10,722
Phillipians 4:8
That verse popped into my mind earlier today. I thought I'd made a major personal revelation, a breakthrough insight: think upon Truth. Then I remembered...its in Scripture. All the more reason to think on it...
OK. So, I'm still sometimes harassed. I can't live by what other people say, think, yell, feel, etc. about me (or at me, as the case may be...). To be fair to me, this has been going on for a while, and I had waaaay too much (involuntary) shock that I've recently (miraculously) recovered from, so...I was easier to pick on until God willed recovery.
My life is amazing and beautiful, especially compared to what could have been and what could be happening right now. The worst possible outcome, of course, would be/would have been Hell. Not a taste of Hell on earth, but Hell. That's eternity, no exit, that's it, boom, you're done. God has willed that I survive: near fatal ODs, 2 rounds of heavy shock, a blow to the head (pipe) during a botched mugging, jail, a couple years of being sick, sickly, and possibly deathly ill (physically). That's a whole lotta mercy for one lowly former: homogay, druggie, hater of parents, new age dabbler, weakling, rebel without a clue, etc. etc. etc.
So, God --is-- good, and it seems that He spared me and kept me going until I miraculously came to believe upon Christ. That's was a tad over 3 1/2 years ago (3 years, 8 months...but who's counting, anyway?). The changes since I came to believe upon Christ for forgiveness and salvation...amazing. I can look in the mirror and say: why, yes; I am a new creation in Christ Jesus.
There's also my parents, who love me and take care of me and keep me safe. I know in American culture, 32 year old dudes are supposed to live independently, but...being severely mentally ill in a hostile community is no fun at all, trust me. So, I stay here, and my parents are kind to me, I try to be kind to them, etc. I live in comfort and safety. They even have a relatively big yard, so I have some space between the neighbors and me.
So, what's True? I'm forgiven. I'm loved. I'm safe. I've been saved and set free from all sorts of bondage. I was so deep in bondage that I didn't know how deep I was until --after-- Christ had seen fit to set me free.
So, what's --not-- True? The stuff people yell at me. The past...its gone and washed away. Besides, the version(s) of the past people around here like to throw up in my face is usually, at best, an exaggerration of an already terrible story. Basically...lies, lies, and more lies.
Who am I? Child of the most high God. Jesus now lives inside my heart, despite everything that came before. A flawed but forgiven Christ follower. A recipient of extreme grace and mercy. A repentant former sinner, saved by grace.
The world lies. The world says you are what you have, you are the degrees you have, you are the house and car and attractive spouse and above average kids and clothes and pedigree and...and...and...
If you're like me, the world lies a whole lot to and about you. Its a status issue, a stigma issue. You're a mental patient, you're a loser, you're "Schizophrenic," you're a junkie, you're a fag, on and on and on it goes, in my case...seemingly without end. Periodic breaks, yet; an actual end...no.
The Truth, for me, is that Jesus has seen fit to make me healthy, smart enough for my goals, and remarkably--gasp--normal. I have time to myself and access to enough resources to live a simple, comfortable life and genuinely recover from the ill effects of my own sins (being honest here) and the terrible things that happen when you live in a fallen, sin marred and scarred world. Electroshock? Not to sound all bitter and anti-psychiatry, but that's a terrible thing to do to another human being, especially in the name of "medical treatment." I don't know what the deal is...humans are always finding new ways to torture, control, and destroy other human beings. My torture came at the hands of psychiatrists who may have thought they were "helping," whatever "helping" means. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions...
Lies. The world is full of them, and the lying liars who tell them. I was with them, the lying liars who lie all the time, until Jesus saved me. Now, I find that not only do I lie much, much less, but the lies that had thoroughly saturated my mind and defined my outlook have largely dissipated, and the ones that remain are being broken down, too. Good times.
OK. As is often the case, I wrote this as I began figuring it out. call it...my big revelation of the day, lol. This is a Praise Report, btw.
That verse popped into my mind earlier today. I thought I'd made a major personal revelation, a breakthrough insight: think upon Truth. Then I remembered...its in Scripture. All the more reason to think on it...
OK. So, I'm still sometimes harassed. I can't live by what other people say, think, yell, feel, etc. about me (or at me, as the case may be...). To be fair to me, this has been going on for a while, and I had waaaay too much (involuntary) shock that I've recently (miraculously) recovered from, so...I was easier to pick on until God willed recovery.
My life is amazing and beautiful, especially compared to what could have been and what could be happening right now. The worst possible outcome, of course, would be/would have been Hell. Not a taste of Hell on earth, but Hell. That's eternity, no exit, that's it, boom, you're done. God has willed that I survive: near fatal ODs, 2 rounds of heavy shock, a blow to the head (pipe) during a botched mugging, jail, a couple years of being sick, sickly, and possibly deathly ill (physically). That's a whole lotta mercy for one lowly former: homogay, druggie, hater of parents, new age dabbler, weakling, rebel without a clue, etc. etc. etc.
So, God --is-- good, and it seems that He spared me and kept me going until I miraculously came to believe upon Christ. That's was a tad over 3 1/2 years ago (3 years, 8 months...but who's counting, anyway?). The changes since I came to believe upon Christ for forgiveness and salvation...amazing. I can look in the mirror and say: why, yes; I am a new creation in Christ Jesus.
There's also my parents, who love me and take care of me and keep me safe. I know in American culture, 32 year old dudes are supposed to live independently, but...being severely mentally ill in a hostile community is no fun at all, trust me. So, I stay here, and my parents are kind to me, I try to be kind to them, etc. I live in comfort and safety. They even have a relatively big yard, so I have some space between the neighbors and me.
So, what's True? I'm forgiven. I'm loved. I'm safe. I've been saved and set free from all sorts of bondage. I was so deep in bondage that I didn't know how deep I was until --after-- Christ had seen fit to set me free.
So, what's --not-- True? The stuff people yell at me. The past...its gone and washed away. Besides, the version(s) of the past people around here like to throw up in my face is usually, at best, an exaggerration of an already terrible story. Basically...lies, lies, and more lies.
Who am I? Child of the most high God. Jesus now lives inside my heart, despite everything that came before. A flawed but forgiven Christ follower. A recipient of extreme grace and mercy. A repentant former sinner, saved by grace.
The world lies. The world says you are what you have, you are the degrees you have, you are the house and car and attractive spouse and above average kids and clothes and pedigree and...and...and...
If you're like me, the world lies a whole lot to and about you. Its a status issue, a stigma issue. You're a mental patient, you're a loser, you're "Schizophrenic," you're a junkie, you're a fag, on and on and on it goes, in my case...seemingly without end. Periodic breaks, yet; an actual end...no.
The Truth, for me, is that Jesus has seen fit to make me healthy, smart enough for my goals, and remarkably--gasp--normal. I have time to myself and access to enough resources to live a simple, comfortable life and genuinely recover from the ill effects of my own sins (being honest here) and the terrible things that happen when you live in a fallen, sin marred and scarred world. Electroshock? Not to sound all bitter and anti-psychiatry, but that's a terrible thing to do to another human being, especially in the name of "medical treatment." I don't know what the deal is...humans are always finding new ways to torture, control, and destroy other human beings. My torture came at the hands of psychiatrists who may have thought they were "helping," whatever "helping" means. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions...
Lies. The world is full of them, and the lying liars who tell them. I was with them, the lying liars who lie all the time, until Jesus saved me. Now, I find that not only do I lie much, much less, but the lies that had thoroughly saturated my mind and defined my outlook have largely dissipated, and the ones that remain are being broken down, too. Good times.
OK. As is often the case, I wrote this as I began figuring it out. call it...my big revelation of the day, lol. This is a Praise Report, btw.
