To go or not to go - That is the question

[Theofilus]

A few days ago, I posted in a thread titled "Celebrating Easter" that I was sick and tired of insults, insinuations and people taking my words out of context. I said that after I made that post I would ask a moderator to delete my account. I did. I was told that only an admin could delete an account and the moderator encouraged me to stay. Since then, I've recieved PMs from 4 others, also asking me not to leave. There are also a few people who have posted in response to my posts that they enjoyed hearing what I have to say.

What to do... On the one hand, I have a lot I would like to share with you all. I've been a Christian for over 37 years. That's longer than many here have been alive. During that time, I've learned many things that I believe others could benefit from. On the other hand, I sometimes feel like every time I try to share these things, I get attacked.

I've decided to give the forum another try. I only ask this of you all. If you reply to any of my posts, then reply to what I actually say and don't take my words out of context and make them mean something entirely different from what I said. Also, if you can't reply without insulting me, then don't reply at all. If you do that for me, I promise I will do the same. If I have ever insulted anyone on this forum, then I didn't intend it and I appologize.

 

[PouringRain]

I always feel as though I miss all the drama on forums and never know what is going on.... I have no clue what happened in the above incident (or incidences).

I have always enjoyed your posts. It would be a shame to lose you. We may not all agree on things, but I think it is important for all voices to be heard. If you leave, then who will take up your views?

I was on a forum once where everyone was of one mind. Some might think how wonderful that is, for all Christians to be in agreement on all things-- like some christian utopia. The reality was that it was quite boring. Imagine if every thread posted on here consisted of a half dozens replies of "I agree!" Would you learn anything? Would there be opportunity for growth? Where would our unique personality and perspectives that God has given us have a chance to shine in that? On a forum like that everyone may as well be babbling to themself.

 

[Theofilus]

Imagine if every thread posted on here consisted of a half dozens replies of "I agree!" Would you learn anything? Would there be opportunity for growth? Where would our unique personality and perspectives that God has given us have a chance to shine in that? On a forum like that everyone may as well be babbling to themself.

Exactly. Listening to those with different views is the only way we'll ever learn anything new. Of course, sometimes we'll be right and those other views will be wrong, but we won't know for sure if we don't at least listen to them. And, just as importantly, if those views are wrong, we'll understand much better why they're wrong and why we believe what we believe, after listening to them. That's what the Bereans did. They neither accepted nor rejected Pauls words immediately. They listened to what he had to say, then checked the Scriptures to see if they supported it.

 

[Mike]

Theo, did you get my PM yesterday?

 

[WIP]

A few days ago, I posted in a thread titled "Celebrating Easter" that I was sick and tired of insults, insinuations and people taking my words out of context. I said that after I made that post I would ask a moderator to delete my account. I did. I was told that only an admin could delete an account and the moderator encouraged me to stay. Since then, I've recieved PMs from 4 others, also asking me not to leave. There are also a few people who have posted in response to my posts that they enjoyed hearing what I have to say.

What to do... On the one hand, I have a lot I would like to share with you all. I've been a Christian for over 37 years. That's longer than many here have been alive. During that time, I've learned many things that I believe others could benefit from. On the other hand, I sometimes feel like every time I try to share these things, I get attacked.

I've decided to give the forum another try. I only ask this of you all. If you reply to any of my posts, then reply to what I actually say and don't take my words out of context and make them mean something entirely different from what I said. Also, if you can't reply without insulting me, then don't reply at all. If you do that for me, I promise I will do the same. If I have ever insulted anyone on this forum, then I didn't intend it and I appologize.

Is it possible that you're taking things out of context? I'm not familiar with the situations you describe but in the years I've been involved with online forums and email exchanges, I have learned that it can be very difficult to express a viewpoint and have everyone on the receiving end take it the way you mean it to be. The written word lacks feeling, emotion, facial expression, bodily expression, and voice inflection and even though smiley's might be helpful they don't really help much either. It works both ways too, as it's just as hard to understand where someone is coming from as well.

Try to keep this in mind and be open to explaining yourself over and over sometimes until we get it.

 

[stovebolts]

Hi Theo, and I'm glad you decided to stick around.

If I could give you some friendly advice, it might sound something like this.

You said on the tail end of your OP that if you had offended somebody else, then it was not your intention. Is it possible that those who took you out of context, also did not intend to offend you? Also, is it possible that when people take you out of context, perhaps it is not maliciously, but rather, they are viewing what you said through their own bias? Or perhaps maybe you're not explaining yourself clearly enough?

One thing I've noticed through the years (and especially on this forum) is that we can all become a bit sensitive to particular subjects and because of past run in's, somebody could say something innocent enough, but because of the baggage we all carry, we misunderstand their remarks and actually receive their comments out of context missing the intent of their question, or remark.

For example, just the other day at the gym I was talking to a guy who had a Christian T-Shirt on, and during our discussion, he said, "You don't believe we are saved by the law do you?". Ahhhh! I could have just screamed!

Well, anyway, I'm starting to ramble

Have a great day!

 

[l'Chante]

Good to have you back, Theo. I guess I'm getting old (don't comment!!!!) because I was a bit tearful when I saw you post.

I think we all can get ..., (English failing me again) a little zealous (?) when taking about religion. My faith means everything to me and I was involved in a heated debate not too long ago because Brian didn't see things the way I did. Instead of treating him with respect, I got personal. (We are friends again)

Please be patient with me and people like me? I don't mean to offend. I just get carried away because I feel so strong about my faith.

 

[cleanfreak]

Theo is referring to my post I made regarding to the Easter thread. I made my post in humor and some reality as well.

I did not mean to offend anyone with the remarks, especially Theo. For this, I truly apologize and I hope you will accept my apology.

I do not want to see anyone go, as stated, if were all in agreement, how will any of us learn?

Once again, Theo, I hope you will accept my apology and will choose to stay.

 

[Pizzaguy]

A few days ago, I posted in a thread titled "Celebrating Easter" that I was sick and tired of insults, insinuations and people taking my words out of context.

I've had the same feelings about some of MY posts.

What to do... On the one hand, I have a lot I would like to share with you all. I've been a Christian for over 37 years. That's longer than many here have been alive. During that time, I've learned many things that I believe others could benefit from. On the other hand, I sometimes feel like every time I try to share these things, I get attacked.

I've been a Christian 34 years, had no idea you had more time than me! And, just the same, I too think I have some experiences and insights that might benefit others as well.

I almost left recently as well. But, I got busy and ended up staying away for a few days... only to return. I am limiting my time here instead of just leaving ... we'll see how it works.

As to YOU, Theo, much of what you post I find I agree with, and some I don't. But that is ok, I do not require my friends to agree with me on everything.

 

[Bonairos]

What to do... On the one hand, I have a lot I would like to share with you all. I've been a Christian for over 37 years. That's longer than many here have been alive. During that time, I've learned many things that I believe others could benefit from. On the other hand, I sometimes feel like every time I try to share these things, I get attacked.

“To go or not to go . . .†is a good question and only you can decide where the peace of God will rest in your life.

A Christian for over 37 years? Thank you for your service and tenacity! It’s coming up on three decades for me. Like you, there’s much I have learned (and still continue to learn) that I believe could benefit the citizens of The Kingdom we’re privileged to be a part of. By the same token, there’s still much that others have experienced that I could also benefit from. I approach it both ways.

That’s not to say, what is debated (for lack of better words) here I must agree with. Length of time (knowing God) and personal experience (having walked with Him) may cause me to ‘know better’ and discard what is sometimes thrown out there. Nonetheless, though it may not be theology I benefit from, I still may gain in other ways. (i.e. not just what a person believes, but how or why, they express, relay, and walk out those beliefs).

In turn, I am personally challenged in the way I express, relay, and walk out my beliefs. And yes, the possibilities exist that I may be misunderstood, misquoted, and (God forbid) taken out of context. Nevertheless, I learn about people, and about relationships.

Having said that, there is much that the older can share with the younger (and vice-versa). The journey involves bringing the two together. But what would it profit any party involved if in doing so, we lose the peace of God along the way?! I trust you will continue to do what the Lord instructs you to do. And His peace in your life will bless me whenever we meet at the Cross-roads of our writings.

Be blessed, Stay blessed!

 

[Theofilus]

Theo is referring to my post I made regarding to the Easter thread. I made my post in humor and some reality as well.

I did not mean to offend anyone with the remarks, especially Theo. For this, I truly apologize and I hope you will accept my apology.

I do not want to see anyone go, as stated, if were all in agreement, how will any of us learn?

Once again, Theo, I hope you will accept my apology and will choose to stay.

Yes, I gladly accept your apology. You are by no means the worst offender. Your post just happened to come at a bad time for me. I hope we can continue to learn from each other.

 

[Theofilus]

Theo, did you get my PM yesterday?

Yes, I got your PM. I've gotten a few PMs the last few days, but I haven't answered any of them. I'll get around to that soon.

 

[Theofilus]

Is it possible that you're taking things out of context? I'm not familiar with the situations you describe but in the years I've been involved with online forums and email exchanges, I have learned that it can be very difficult to express a viewpoint and have everyone on the receiving end take it the way you mean it to be. The written word lacks feeling, emotion, facial expression, bodily expression, and voice inflection and even though smiley's might be helpful they don't really help much either. It works both ways too, as it's just as hard to understand where someone is coming from as well.

Try to keep this in mind and be open to explaining yourself over and over sometimes until we get it.

I have often considered this possibility. I know that sometimes this is the case since, after I clarify something, people respond differently. But that isn't always the case, and often you can tell if it isn't.

 

[demonXecutor]

I found out the hard way when commenting on forums such as this. It's part of the playground.

#1 There's no way around from being offended. It will happen one way or another. If someone disagrees with you and you get offended, then that's your problem, not the person who disagrees with you.

#2 I don't comment on every single thread I disagree with, and believe me, I disagree with a lot! I'll go through all the threads I disagree with and restrain myself from commenting. You can learn a lot from doing that. For one, it makes me do a lot of research, kind of like refining.

#3 I'm not just on here to force my opinions on anyone thinking I'm helping someone to see the greater truth. I'm on here to help myself to other opinions I disagree or agree with.

#4 Someone will always take what you comment out of context. In a sense, that's a good thing, because it forces you to refine your writing skills.

In conclusion, No pain No gain.

 

[WIP]

When I first began using online discussion forums I had a real problem with being too aggressive and not objective enough. Yeah, even more than I am now, well, I hope I'm not too bad. What I learned is that sometimes when you begin to feel yourself getting pulled into an online argument, it helps to just avoid replying for a while. Let both sides cool down and see what others have to say for a few days. Then I seem to find it easier to come back into the discussion with a cooler head.

There are some threads where I want to comment because I'm not quite sure I agree but then I'll just sit back and let others reply back and forth and just read along. I find it to be a good way to learn things and sometimes my views are changed in the process.