Hi all I am struggling I'm not sure why I contine to stay. I am currently in a relationship we are now unequally yoked although we didn't start that way we were married now divorced (for over a yr.) He has said if he's content to stay with me I should stay we have had a lot of ups. and downs. What I am worried about is he has deconversion has affected our children (2 are his but I raised them) it scares me that bc he is the man of the house my children are following his path also, was I wrong to divorce him because I know the Bible speaks on this. I agonized over that decision for two years before the divorce. If I'm being honest something shifted many yrs before. ......feeling hopeless and alone. I know that ppl make it work who believe totally different but when I was dating I always looked for the same type of spiritual partners knowing that having a good faith foundation was a high priority.
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1 Corinthians 7:10, Jesus commands the woman not to leave her husband and if she does she should remain unmarried, but in Malachi 2:10-16 the treachery that man commits against a woman which leads him to have an affair outside of the marriage or abuses the wife whether it be physical or emotional gives place to what was said by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that if a woman is no longer pleasing to her husband then the husband should give his wife a written bill of divorcement and send her out of the house and this gives the woman the right to marry again, but she can never go back to her former husband if that marriage does not work out or her husband dies for now she is defiled to be with her first husband and this is an abomination to God.
For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.
Hope this helps and you are in my prayers.
For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.
Hope this helps and you are in my prayers.
so is it better to stay discontented for a women bc no one sets out to divorce but I do not believe Christ wants us to remain in discord. As I mentioned I did not wake up one day and just decided on divorce It took 2 rough yrs.
If a man says things like the Bible is a historical book(view now) and that the only way he will believe again is if God does something like a healing(of a household member)
As I said before we were together (married a long time) he was a man of God a minister a bishop at a point. He has had many changes in faith when I met him he was a minister. Current agnostic and has joined de conversion groups.
Telling children anything goes as long as you're not "hurting others" but I believe there is always a Riple affect and we make connections with people we meet whether positive or negative.
If a man says things like the Bible is a historical book(view now) and that the only way he will believe again is if God does something like a healing(of a household member)
As I said before we were together (married a long time) he was a man of God a minister a bishop at a point. He has had many changes in faith when I met him he was a minister. Current agnostic and has joined de conversion groups.
Telling children anything goes as long as you're not "hurting others" but I believe there is always a Riple affect and we make connections with people we meet whether positive or negative.
The thing is if he is Spiritually born again and even indwelled with the Holy Spirit there can be periods of doubt and weak faith that draws us away from Christ, as well I know, but yet He is always there waiting for us to come back.
It's a hard one to figure out not knowing each side of the story, but if the two of you love each other and are not staying together just for the sake of the children then there is always hope that he will come back to Christ. If there is any physical or mental abuse then you need to get away from that, especially since you are already divorced. Is he willing to sit and talk to you about why he has fallen away and is he willing to work out any problems the two of you might have with each other in you marriage, other than he falling away from Christ. I know we are not to return back to the one we divorced, but sometimes we also make bad decisions without a clear mind.
Pray and ask Jesus to do a work in his heart as you give Him over to the Lord and this burden you carry. This is your hearts desire and I believe God will honor your desire in His perfect timing and he be that man of God once again.
One more question. Do you attend any church at this time and do your children attend with you? It's important that you stay in the word even if you are not going to church right now and if possible teach it to your children.
It's a hard one to figure out not knowing each side of the story, but if the two of you love each other and are not staying together just for the sake of the children then there is always hope that he will come back to Christ. If there is any physical or mental abuse then you need to get away from that, especially since you are already divorced. Is he willing to sit and talk to you about why he has fallen away and is he willing to work out any problems the two of you might have with each other in you marriage, other than he falling away from Christ. I know we are not to return back to the one we divorced, but sometimes we also make bad decisions without a clear mind.
Pray and ask Jesus to do a work in his heart as you give Him over to the Lord and this burden you carry. This is your hearts desire and I believe God will honor your desire in His perfect timing and he be that man of God once again.
One more question. Do you attend any church at this time and do your children attend with you? It's important that you stay in the word even if you are not going to church right now and if possible teach it to your children.
I am not perfect no one is, no I do not have a "home church" currently but have been visiting churches or watching online services. We have 2 children that are his I have raised one is no longer living with us one is here but in military both of them non believers the youngest will still go with me for now but there are things that she disagrees with (based on world views and the idea that as long as your not "hurting" others you can do as you please.
As for the if he is saved he is good if you are refuring to once saved always save grace does run out and and he has imphaticly said there is no God claiming agnostic views.
As for the if he is saved he is good if you are refuring to once saved always save grace does run out and and he has imphaticly said there is no God claiming agnostic views.
wican to preacher (when met) to now agnostic..
This situation as other topics has caused me to be put between him and my family Turning family dinners into battle ground causing stress.
I grew up in a prominent Christian Family. as well as a broken household which is why the decision to Divorce so hard. The one thing I told anyone I was with is that ( I don't do discord in home, but I also did not want a broken home situation for my children.) but when it's a battle ground in the place you are supposed to feel safe,secure when is enough ...enough....
This situation as other topics has caused me to be put between him and my family Turning family dinners into battle ground causing stress.
I grew up in a prominent Christian Family. as well as a broken household which is why the decision to Divorce so hard. The one thing I told anyone I was with is that ( I don't do discord in home, but I also did not want a broken home situation for my children.) but when it's a battle ground in the place you are supposed to feel safe,secure when is enough ...enough....
I agree none of us are perfect, but those who are Christ own are in the process of allowing Jesus to perfect us.
I don't want to get to personal with this, but if you feel led to, can you tell us why your husband does not believe in God anymore, especially when you say he was a Pastor at one time
Being content is not like loving one unconditionally, but just putting up with someone like they could care less if they were around or not. If you remain in discord with this man that is no longer your husband since you already divorced him this is not a healthy relationship especially since the both of you are unequally yoked as what does light have to do with darkness as this can only bring you to the place you are in right now.
1 Corinthians 6:14-18 teaches us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness. We are to come out from among such that refuse to believe.
No I am not talking about OSAS, but talking about the both of you and your relationship with each other. I have been divorced twice as I went through so much mental abuse from the first marriage and physical and mental abuse in the second marriage and being a Christian I studied hard about what God had to say about divorce that led me to believe their are certain circumstances that allow for divorce. In you case the two of you started out equally yoked, but something has caused the yoke to break.
I'm not telling you to stay or leave as that has to be your decision, but if you feel there is no hope of that yoke being mended then, since you are already divorced, why do you stay?
I don't want to get to personal with this, but if you feel led to, can you tell us why your husband does not believe in God anymore, especially when you say he was a Pastor at one time
Being content is not like loving one unconditionally, but just putting up with someone like they could care less if they were around or not. If you remain in discord with this man that is no longer your husband since you already divorced him this is not a healthy relationship especially since the both of you are unequally yoked as what does light have to do with darkness as this can only bring you to the place you are in right now.
1 Corinthians 6:14-18 teaches us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness. We are to come out from among such that refuse to believe.
No I am not talking about OSAS, but talking about the both of you and your relationship with each other. I have been divorced twice as I went through so much mental abuse from the first marriage and physical and mental abuse in the second marriage and being a Christian I studied hard about what God had to say about divorce that led me to believe their are certain circumstances that allow for divorce. In you case the two of you started out equally yoked, but something has caused the yoke to break.
I'm not telling you to stay or leave as that has to be your decision, but if you feel there is no hope of that yoke being mended then, since you are already divorced, why do you stay?
You stated the children are not your own, even though you raised them as your own, but are adults now and have to work out their own lives. I know what that battle ground looks like physically and mentally and it's up to you to say that it's enough and I do not need to live this way. I want to be happy again and have a life I can enjoy and want a man that is grounded in faith, a man of integrity that is going to treat me right that we can build a life together with Christ being in the center. You have decisions to make that are not easy and many can give you good advice, but yet it all boils down in what you feel you need to do.
He does want to talk about why but when he does it comes across as I'm stupid for believing in dairy tails (see other post about Bible and Apolologetics) - contradictory statements in his view of the bible...in the same token he says he admires I hang on to faith however I am having a difficult time reconciling his statements with actions eventhough he (speaks of remarriage) he had met someone not to long after we divorced. He has had several wives who's actions and views he left them for but though out our marriage I had to consistently "convince" him I am not them.
Not to mention he had kids which is something I considered heavily while we dated I would not even meet them until we were serious bc of my examples of who and what not to be. he married another person after we dated bc I would not marry bc I knew I wasn't ready. I do not agree that a woman or man should get married just bc they have child/children I witnessed first had what getting married just bc of kids gets you with my upbringing. I was never that child/girl/women who just made snap decisions. currently it's quite house but still disconnected.
Not to mention he had kids which is something I considered heavily while we dated I would not even meet them until we were serious bc of my examples of who and what not to be. he married another person after we dated bc I would not marry bc I knew I wasn't ready. I do not agree that a woman or man should get married just bc they have child/children I witnessed first had what getting married just bc of kids gets you with my upbringing. I was never that child/girl/women who just made snap decisions. currently it's quite house but still disconnected.
2 are not mine biologically 1 is as I said I have been through situations stepchildren are just steps I IN NO WAY BELIEVE THAT IF YOU INVEST IN SOMEONE WITH CHILDREN YOU NEED TO FULLY IMBRACE THAT ROLL....if not it can and often does do a lot of damage.
I just pray you can get everything worked out in your head what you need to do for your own sake so you can be happy.
There were several reasons he says one (health) if God's all powerful why can't he heal ( as I said disabled family members)
hx things in the bible that they have found no evidence of one example he gave is the exodus statement that if that many ppl where there why has nothing been discovered.
we were in a church at one point that he found a book on this church has a dark history
and he says there are to many apologetics in the bible- controversy statements (see other post)
He continues to say he loves me but as I have asked him how can you love someone and dispise thier core values. I got no clear answer.
hx things in the bible that they have found no evidence of one example he gave is the exodus statement that if that many ppl where there why has nothing been discovered.
we were in a church at one point that he found a book on this church has a dark history
and he says there are to many apologetics in the bible- controversy statements (see other post)
He continues to say he loves me but as I have asked him how can you love someone and dispise thier core values. I got no clear answer.
There are no perfect church's and God's true church is not four walls with a name on the outside of it, but the true church is the body of Christ with He being the head of the body. We know faith is the substance of things of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. People are always looking for evidence or a sign, but neglect having that personal relationship with Christ.
Some get healed while others don't, like me and so many others, but yet we walk by faith, not by sight trying to search for things that are not yet revealed to us. God will always reveal Himself to those who humble their hearts and wants to know Him, but not always in the way we expect. Next time he tells you he loves you ask him why he does. You probably will only get "because I do". The word love has no meaning unless it is shown and felt. One can not live in peace in their own household unless there is peace.