Whacking Your Kids

[Lewis]

I was thinking about a show I saw last year or so, it was Dr, Phil, and the show was about beating or in other words spanking your kids. Now Dr, Phil says don't whack the kids for any reason, but there was a christian lady on the show who spoke out against that, she was telling them what the Bible says. And Dr, Phil still couldn't get it. Now I like Dr, Phil, but he looks at things on a secular view.
The Bible tells us to whack our kids when we have to. To many kids today cuss the parents out, and even hit them, they just have no respect, for their parents or other people. When these kids started acting up at an early age, the parents did nothing. Or they would send little Billy to his room, each time he did something or they would do nothing at all. Saying I would never hit my little Billy. And then little Billy grows up, and kicks the parents tail, or ends up in jail.
Because the parents, did not kick his tale when he was coming up. I am against abusing a child, that is wrong. But when it is warranted little Billy should get his tail kicked, because you love him, and want him to know right from wrong, and to know that there are consequences for his actions. In todays time America has told the parents, that you better not hit your own child, and if you do we will put you in jail. The Bible told us to raise our children, not the state. I will say this again abusing children is wrong. But kicking their tails when and only if you have to is not wrong.

 

[Lewis]

I believe every word of this.

BIBLE TRUTHS

Morality

Should we hit our children?

The Bible is quite clear on this matter about children who may need chastisement, after they have been bad, for some reason or other. Listen to what it says in Proverbs 13:24. "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

My friend, if your children are being disobedient by doing wrong then you must hit them, if they will not listen to you when you tell them off. It is a commandment of God to chastise your children, because by so doing you are showing them your love. Yes my friend it is the love we have for them, that makes us try and turn them away from the sins that they are committing.

You may say that very young children do not know the difference between right and wrong, therefore by hitting them it will not help them. This is a lie, because what is the age of understanding? By hitting the child you may save them from going into hell one day. As the Bible tells us quite clearly, if you do not hit your children when they are bad, then you hate them. If you say otherwise, then you are calling God a liar, because this is what He says.

Where do you stand on this subject? For what God says or for what man says? As it tells us in Proverbs 22:6. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." My friend, children will not always obey you when you tell them off. Sometimes you must smack them, to bring them to see their wrong. Why do you think that our world is in such a state today? It is because we have failed our children in not bringing them up as the Bible tells us to. We have failed to chastise our children and have left them to do what they want.

Well my friend, as Christians we will chastise our children as the Bible tells us too; no matter what the leaders of our country may tell us. We are going to obey what God commands us. It tells us in Proverbs 19:18. "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying." My friend, have you left it too late to help your children? Are they on their way to hell because you failed them?

How many of you have stopped chastising your children because of what man tells you, and now you are seeing them turn away from Jesus, and go their own ways. You have brought it upon yourselves for disobeying the Word of God. Yes, you are now suffering the consequences, seeing your children go wrong. You should have brought your children into subjection as the Bible tells you to. You should have chastised them, and then God would have honoured you for your obedience.

Remember what happened to Eli; he failed to bring up his sons in God’s laws. They lived very wicked lives, and yet their father did not try and stop them. He told them off once, but by then it was too late. He should have started when they were young, and brought them up to respect God’s laws; but he failed to do so.

Many families today are doing the same; they are too busy with their own lives, instead of looking after their children. Yes, many so-called Christian people are not bringing their children up according to the Word of Jesus. Such people will pay a hard price when they see their sons and daughters on drugs, in prison, or living lives full of sin.

Listen to what it says in 1 Samuel 2:29. "Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?" As a father Eli, could have stopped his sons from doing what they were doing. But as it says, he put his sons before God Almighty. This is what you are doing by disobeying the Word of God. You should be chastising your children; yes even hitting them, to make them see that they are doing wrong. My friend whom do you fear, God or man?

Every true Christian that obeys the Word of God may never have to hit their children, because those that honour God, God will honour. 1 Samuel 3:13. "For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not."

God wants every father and mother to bring up their children in the fear of the Lord; that is the only way any of us can stand. If your children will not take notice of you when you tell them off, then you must use your hand on them; it is the only way of showing your love for them, just as the Bible tells us too. It may be the only way of saving them from going into hell one day.

There are many people who will tell you that there is no need to hit your children, and will condemn us for saying otherwise. Such people do not have Jesus Christ in them because they are telling you not to do something, when God tells you to do it.

Both of Eli’s sons were killed because of their sins, and they went into hell. Yes and that is the place you are going to send your sons and daughters too, if you fail to chastise them in love. You are not going against us, when you say that we are wrong, but against God; for it is He that command us to obey Him. Proverbs 22:15. "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

There are some people, who will tell you that they only live in the New Testament, and that they do not have to keep anything that is in the Old Testament. Well, we will say this to such people. What did God give you the Old Testament for, if it is a closed book to you? Our God is the same in the Old Testament, as well as in the New Testament, and we will obey Old and New together, for the one backs the other up in its completeness. So for those who do not obey the Old Testament, we say this to you; that one day you will go into hell for your disobedience in not doing what God has commanded in His Word.
http://www.bible-truths.org/questions&a ... ould~5.htm

 

[Gary]

I will whack one of my kid's tail if they tell tales...

:wink:

So far, two beautiful children have matured into responsible, loving adults. One to go... and I think time will show that the last kid will also benefit from a whack or two (with nothing more than an open hand) on his tail... and lots of sound Biblical knowledge and application.

 

[aimee_747]

I was spanked growing up and trust me, whatever I did to get spanked, I didn't do it a secong time!! It honestly did help me learn right from wrong especially being the youngest with older siblings tricking me into doing stupid stuff!

I will be spanking my children when the time comes and in no way do I see it as abuse. You're not twisting their arms or hitting them in the face or stomach. It's the bottom, the place with the most cushion. No harm there!

 

[cly]

I got spankings growing up too, and I'm sure I'm the better for it at that. When I have children, I will spank them too, if and when they need it. I agree that abuse is wrong, but spanking as a way to discipline a child isn't.

 

[antitox]

I knew alot of folks in my last church that refused to spank their kids and their lives were hell. They had no life. One guy couldn't get his little ones to go to bed at night and his youngest he used to hold in his arms all night long sleeping with him in the closet in an effort to keep him as isolated so his wife could sleep. He. himself, rarely got a night's sleep.

Another who refused to spank had a terribly rebellious youngster (about 8 yrs old) who was nothing but murder in the Mom's Day Out class. My poor wife was the class teacher and the boy practically lived in "time-out." Did time-out help? Ha! You can probably guess what went on. That boy was brought to his mother just about every day. Then his mother naturally had issues with my wife because she wouldn't tolerate that boy's rebellion. Since his mom refused to fix the problem, she blamed my wife for it all! Well, that's what dysfunction does; it always places blame where it doesn't belong.

We ALWAYS went thru hell with the non-spanked kids in the day-care. It was inevitable.

The church prior to that, ther was another couple that didn't spank their kids whose youngest bit and hit my kids. :evil: And they didn't take care of the problem. It is so clear how one can see the life and standards of the parents by what their kids are permitted to do.

 

[Lewis]

Yes antitox, without discipline, kids will run wild, and just do want they want to do. My oldest son when his great grandmother, would take him out. or were in a supermarket. He would fallout on purpose on the floor and would not get up.
He would do this if you told him no, or you did not let him have his way.
Now he would not do that with me, because he knew what would happen.
But I have seen kids cuss out their mother, I have seen kids hit their mother.
During Biblical times they would stone you to death for hitting a parent. As a matter of fact, back then you did not find to much of kids rebelling against parents, it was simply not tolerated, and the kids back then knew it. There were no laws back then to stop a parent from beating the crap out of you. The kids had more respect for their mother and father, and grown people in general.
But today, just like in the days of old, you better instill the right way, in them while they are young, or you will be sorry later on, because you did not do it when they were young, but now it is to late.

 

[antitox]

Yes antitox, without discipline, kids will run wild, and just do want they want to do. My oldest son when his great grandmother, would take him out. or were in a supermarket. He would fallout on purpose on the floor and would not get up.
He would do this if you told him no, or you did not let him have his way.
Now he would not do that with me, because he knew what would happen.
But I have seen kids cuss out their mother, I have seen kids hit their mother.
During Biblical times they would stone you to death for hitting a parent. As a matter of fact, back then you did not find to much of kids rebelling against parents, it was simply not tolerated, and the kids back then knew it. There were no laws back then to stop a parent from beating the crap out of you. The kids had more respect for their mother and father, and grown people in general.
But today, just like in the days of old, you better instill the right way, in them while they are young, or you will be sorry later on, because you did not do it when they were young, but now it is to late.

So true. What we see today just didn't happen back then because there was instilled into children respect for authority and a general regard for other people as well and they spent the majority of their time without being spoon-fed by media programming. Today, there's too much media connection with kids and they learn from the TV, and parents leave their kids with the boob-tube babysitter which is the worst thing for their minds. Therefore kids do not learn proper social interaction, instead, just everything that violates boundaries from the TV. The tube is chocked full of personal violation and breaking of the rules. This is what they are learning early on and they cross every line placed in front of them in life.

I am really concerned about what the next generation is going to come out with. A generation of more ADD, rebellion, drugs, crime, occultism, and media controlled thought-life. Scares me because it is sending us further down the wrong path faster and faster as time progresses.

 

[stovebolts]

I think too many people focus on the act, and not the purpose.

There is a line where whacking your kid becomes abusive not only from the physical aspect, but the emotional element as well. Using the Bible to justifying whacking your kid is wrong, just like using the bible to justify slavery is wrong. Instead of focusing on the verses that allow whacking your kid, look at the verses that show us the purpose.

In other words, I have seen many people use some of the verses posted to justify abusing their kids, all in the name of God. How sad. But then, there are those who feel that any kind of physical discipline is abusive.

For those who use the bible as justification to batter and abuse their children, shame shame, your day will come. For those who feel that you can’t discipline in a physical manner, here’s a true story.

When my son was 4, he thought he would do us all a favor and cross the road to get the mail. Now, I live on a dirt road and traffic isn’t that heavy, but none the less, I don’t want my 4 year old to get in the habit of running out in the road. Heck, next thing ya know, he’ll want to play out there. Anyone with kids knows that if you give a mouse a cookie, he’s gonna want a glass of milk.

Now, the psychologist says that we must speak to our children… allow them to make their own mistakes to learn from, understand them… Can I say that my child was not mature enough to understand that getting hit by a car is a really bad thing? Is it a stretch to say that a child’s urge to please his parents by doing a good act out weighs his ignorance of your words to keep him safe? Well, let’s just say that me and my boy had a few talks. Two, to be exact. After the second ‘talk’, I didn’t have to worry if he ‘understood’ me, because I knew he would ‘obey’ me. This all occurred a few years ago and he still don’t cross the road, but ya know what? Now he understands it.

Sometimes in our walk with God, we just have to obey. Sure, we’ll get disciplined by the Lord and like children; we’ll throw these big fits. But the fact remains, that He Loves us, and He has our best interest at heart.

 

[Lewis]

StoveBolts, we are not talking about abusing, the kids, and I have stated that, that is wrong. And the Bible is the instruction manual StoveBolts, and we should use it as our guide. God does not want us to abuse our children. But if you have to whack their behinds, by all means do so. You can save their very lives by doing this. Or would you rather a prison inmate or guard do it. Or somebody on the street do it with a gun.

 

[ArtGuy]

Spanking is fine if absolutely necessary, but there are better ways to go about discipline roughly 99% of the time.

 

[stovebolts]

Hey Lewis,

Know that I am an advocate of spanking your child when they are children. However, if they get to 7, 8 or 9 and your still spanking on a regular basis... then I would suggest trying something new cause one's purpose was off. You even stated "While they're young". All I've added, is that "Young", should not be a a relative word in the sense of child / parent.

I'm not accusing anyone of abusing their kids and yes, I believe there is a time and a place to spank your kids. I don't however believe that ones motive should be so that they won't get shot at or have a guard at some prison do it. For heavens sake, if we spank our children, it should be so that they understand God's authority as you have correctly stated.

I only bring the abuse issue up to bring balance because I have seen and heard child abusers justify their actions with a few of the verses that you have posted. My motive is simply to offer a fuller view and how some would distort God's truth to justify they're ego's to control their children and their lack of patience and self control.

By all means, spank your child, but for those that abuse this right as a parent or over seeer, shame shame, the Lord will have His day.

 

[lovely]

When my children were little we would make every effort to spank them for their disobedience in a consistant manner. We kept a little wooden doll rod in the bathroom, and they would get a two swats on the bottom. I tried to tell them why they were getting a spank, do it, and then I would try and encourage them to not do it again in order to please God. It always broke my heart to spank them, they were so adorable to me. My husband was always reminding me that we discipline because we love them, and they must obey, and honor, their parents. That my sentimentality, in this case, was not love, and I had to die to it. I absolutley did not want to cause them to stumble, and lead them astray, and saw the wisdom (God's wisdom) in what my husband was saying. I thought Eli was a good example, Lewis.

As they grew, this became more involved, especially if it was something that ended up being a pattern in their life, but it also became more rare. The thing is, I rarely ever have to spank my sons at all after those first years. They obey, and when they have a sign of heart disobedience, such as a sigh after being told to do something, I merely have to look at them, and ask if I have their hearts, before an apology is uttered and a change of attitude is usually seen. Spanking was a tool, but we rarely have to use it anymore for the older boys. The rod is still in the bathroom, however, if we need it.

My daughter is still little, and though I have never had to spank her as much as the boys, she still needs to learn that obedience is required, and pleasing to God. I must say, it is still heartbreaking for me after all these years (I have not completely died to that senitment), and I have to go against my flesh to do it, but I know it is a very valuable tool when they are little to establish the authority that God has placed in my life.

I have learned though, that pain is not always bad. We learn a great deal through our pain, and sorrow, and God uses it to our good. When we are sick, pain lets us know something isn't right, and the doctor may even have to inflict more to heal us. In our lives, emotionally, and spiritually, this principal is also true. Disciplining,and pruning hurts, but God loves us so much to use it to teach, humble, and draw us.

After my husband died, I struggled with the consistancy, and practicaly side of this because he was more of a disciplinarian, and encouraged me a great deal. My children suffered because they lacked his disciipline of a father, and sometimes this mother needed that backup. God used this time to resolve me to love in action, and truly care enough to discipline. I believe it helped me in my grief. I had no time to just sink into despair, but had to keep living, and caring for the children. I also had to keep recognizing my own sin, and make efforts to not make excuses, but do what was best for the children according to God. To live my life to please God, even when I was overwhelmed with grief. I see the blessings of it now, though it was difficult at the time. I also see the results in my children, and the blessings of it were reaped very quickly.

My children are far from perfect, but they do try and please God, and when they fail they have learned to accept the discipline, and ask forgiveness. They do not question who their authority is at all. I think that they learned young that God has an order, and that they are being trained to be responsible parents themselves. I just mention this because I believe that establishing our authority, and requiring them to honor us...all to please the Lord...has given them such a clear picture, and good foundation of God's plan for parents and children. They will need it to combat the mindset of this world.

Having said all of that, it is only by God's grace, and mercy, that all of this is accomplished. I think we should not rely on spanking alone, however. Other things come along with that in responsible parenting, otherwise we are going to provoke our children to anger. I think discipline should be coupled with patience, mercy, and above all God's Word. They need to understand why they have sin. I think it is also important that they realize we, as parents, also sin. We need to apologize to them when we have wronged them. Teaching children to pray, trust God, and to apologize are key in them being restored, not only to their parents, but hopefully one day to God. The Lord bless you all.

 

[lovely]

Stove,

I missed your post while I was writing my long winded one. You said it well, and very briefly. The Lord bless you.

 

[Gary]

lovely, I think your post is wonderful... insightful and so honest. Thanks!

I must agree with almost everything you say.

Thank you for the time spent in sharing this wisdom and also describing some of the challenges you now face.

Great post!

 

[Lewis]

I'm not accusing anyone of abusing their kids and yes, I believe there is a time and a place to spank your kids. I don't however believe that ones motive should be so that they won't get shot at or have a guard at some prison do it. For heavens sake, if we spank our children, it should be so that they understand God's authority as you have correctly stated.

stovebolts, if you don't show your kids the right way to go while you are raising them. Yes many end up a tragedy in the streets, or they go to jail, to be disciplined by the system, and jail house law. and that was what I was talking about.

 

[Lewis]

lovely, God bless you sweetheart. And great post.

 

[belovedwolfofgod]

yeah, i think kids need a good whack sometimes. ever see kingdom of heaven? "this is your oath *whack* and this is so you remember it".

 

[Lewis]

Hey one time when I was about 26, my pop had to knock me down because I was way out of line in a drunken rage. Yup did it right in front of my first wife. The next thing I knew I was laying down looking up at the stars. And when I got up and didn't try that ever again and I am 50 now.

 

[stovebolts]

I'm not accusing anyone of abusing their kids and yes, I believe there is a time and a place to spank your kids. I don't however believe that ones motive should be so that they won't get shot at or have a guard at some prison do it. For heavens sake, if we spank our children, it should be so that they understand God's authority as you have correctly stated.

stovebolts, if you don't show your kids the right way to go while you are raising them. Yes many end up a tragedy in the streets, or they go to jail, to be disciplined by the system, and jail house law. and that was what I was talking about.

I fully understand what your talking about. What I WANT to focus on here is not the whacks, but the part that you mention as "show your kids the right way to go "
Whacking your kid has NOTHING to do showing them the right way to go. whacking your kid only instills fear, not respect and if you base your relationship on fear, you'll have a pretty distant kid, that I promise you and I'll bet he'll have a greater chance of going to the jail house as he struggles through his / her teens to break free, while seeking an aproval he / she will never receive..

Now, FEAR is a good tool to use until an understanding based on respect and knowledge can be established, but .....

ehhh goodnesss... ok...

Part of my young childhood, I was brought up in a Catholic Orphanage. I understand what a ruler is. I also understand what it's like to be on the wrong side of the wood shop teachers paddle as well as the principals paddle as well as my fathers belt and the pussy willow that I had to go pick because I was stupid enough to put my head in a noose that my older brother talked me into putting my head into and then kicked the milk crate out from undr my feet.

But as far as being disciplined in the jail house system... I have a brother that's going to be in there the rest of his life. As for myself, the three years in Juvi and the institution were the best thing in the world for me personally for that is where I accepted Christ and I don't recall ever getting whacked by any of the staff.

Ohh, before you go there, my Dad is one of the most honest people I know

Hey one time when I was about 26, my pop had to knock me down because I was way out of line in a drunken rage. Yup did it right in front of my first wife. The next thing I knew I was laying down looking up at the stars. And when I got up and didn't try that ever again and I am 50 now.

Well, ya got about 11 years on me :wink:

When I was in the institution, there was a guy that i used to fight all the time. They were always good fights, and of course, I'd always win. Unfortunatly, each time I'd get in a fight, I'd loose a weekend visit back home. It took me a bit, but I finally figured out why this kid always wanted to fight me... it was because he didn't have a Dad to go home to, and for me to loose my visit brought him Joy. About the time I figured it out, I decided not to fight him anymore. Lewis, I sat and let this kid pound my face in. It was the most hardest, humiliating thing I have ever let happen to me. I swore from there on out, I would never let anyone hit me again without a fight and I held true to my word. ( I was kicked out of the school district for fighting when I was released).

I led a clean life and I valued my honesty and integrity. This Lewis, I got from my Dad because he instilled honesty and integrity in me. Now, I have a brother that is going to be in prison for a long time. But back then, he had stole a bike. I confronted him and told him to get rid of it but before he did, Dad found it. My brother told him I knew where it came from... so my Dad accused me of stealing it... and he proceeded to take off his watch off... and I had swore a oath.

Looking back several days later at both black eyes that my Dad had received and remembering the blood that gushed out from his mouth and nose, I realized that he had let me do that to him... (He was 101 Airborne and mean as hell when he needed to be).

I have nothing but respect for my Father and what it took for him to not fight back as I unleashed my rage in tears and hurt upon his face. At that point, I realized just how much my Dad loved me.