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Whacking Your Kids

Anyway Lewis,

Didn't mean to trail off like that and I'll be away for the weekend. Thanks for stirring up old memories. Hope they didn't offend anyone.

BTW Lovely,
Your post holds true to your name. May God continue to bless you and your family.
 
Good post stovebolts. I have been to jail a few times, never the big house, the last time I did 18 months in the county jail, it was the only time I went to jail and did not do the crime. But the other times it was always for fighting. I would be drugged up or drunk, or both take your pick. My parents tried to raise us right, but when I went hippie, everything changed, my pop could not understand me being a person of color that was a hippie. But my mom and dad did not get along at the time, plus my dad was real strict, so I guess when I had a chance to escape that, I did it through drugs and and alcohol and sex. My dad did not drink or do drugs, but my mom would drink. She thought it was cute when she found out that I was stealing her beers, at about 11 or 12, but years later she did not think it was so cute anymore. But coming up I always got what I wanted. But by my mom leaving and coming back all the time, because they use to fight, was hard to deal with. And dad ruling with a iron hammer did not help.
Even to this day I have a fear of my dad, I love my dad and would die for him. But it is hard for me to be around him. and that comes from my growing up. So I know what you are talking about. My brother was not affected, but it affected me. And he had no idea what he was doing to me. But I was not abused, I did not get a whipping for nothing. But I came up with a unhealthy fear of my dad. My oldest son London, is in jail now doing 21 years, he has been there 13, I should have took more time with him and kicked his behind when he needed it, instead of leaving it on his mother. I failed him. It is hard to see him sitting in there, it hurts real bad. I keep thinking that I could have done something to steer him in another direction.
But I was doing drugs and drinking, and having lots of sex with different woman which, is a selfish thing. instead of paying attention to my son. Well I talked long enough for now. But one more thing I wish that I had been raised in the church things might have worked out much differently. I got saved in 91, god started calling me in 82, but I would not come to him.
Because I could have raised my son in the church.
 
I just got home and the wife had to run an errand :-D

Lewis,
Thank you so much for sharing that. Thank you.

My Dad was brought up pretty rough. Believe it or not, he was born and raised in a single room log cabin in St. Maries Idaho. Maybe I'll post some pictures on Monday when I've got access to high speed internet. I never met my grandpa, but I know that he was extreemly mean and abusive. No need to go into detail, but my Dad tells me that on the day grandpa died, my Dad did not shed a tear. To this day, my Dad struggles with that and even though he won't fully admit it, he wanted to love his Dad and that's what I think hurts him to this day.

My Dad isn't perfect, but then neither am I. I think I was in my mid 20's before I wanted to have a relationship with my Mom, but me and Dad always had this thing... and I had to stop doing things against his will. That's why I was so hurt and enraged, because I had gone honest, and I wanted my Dad to be proud of me.

About 10 years or so ago, I started telling my Dad that I loved him and I made him (persisted until he) tell me back. It's funny, every once in awhile I can hear him stutter (when sombodies around).. "k Jeff, l..... L... love ya" LOL.

That's ok, because I know that he loves me and he knows that I not only love him, but I respect him as well.

I don't regret anything back then because I know that everything had to be the way it was... God had a plan, and I had to work my way through God's plan. My wonderful wife (whome God sent me) is wonderful in so many ways. I believe that through her, my Dad will receive Christ.

Back to respect, I respect my Dad because I gave him grace and he responded in grace. I was always told that I had to earn respect, but I am now convienced that in most cases, respect is given out of grace, and not something that can be earned. I hope that I'm not stepping out of line here, but remember that next time you talk to your Dad and your Son. I know that you must love each one of them very dearly, and I am sure that they also love you dearly. It's just getting there sometimes that's difficult.

Peace be with you Lewis. It has been very nice chatting with you today.

In Christ,
Jeff
 
Hey---

I'm all for spanking the kids. Mine had a few and they grew up OK. They are teenagers now ready for college soon. The Bible supports spankings, and these know-it-alls that try to get their way of thinking, and even big government intervention in to take your kids away will one day be in for a rude awakening. They are all wussies.

BTW, I think a spanking is in order for the wife, too, but never ever a rod thicker than your little finger. :wink:
 
I think the biggest problem comes when a parent comes to rely on hitting as a first course of action. Kids are basically little adults, and they're capable of far more reason that many people give them credit for. If you can sit a child down and explain to him why what he did was wrong and what your expectations are for him, there's a good chance he'll listen.

And even if reason doesn't work, there are so many better and more effective ways. You want to really punish a kid? Take away something he likes. I mean, if I had to choose between getting a quick swat on the butt and being deprived of video games or television for a week, I'd take the swat every day of the week, and twice on Tuesdays.

The only time spanking makes sense is when the child is too young to grasp things like lost privileges. Of course, at this age, the child is typically young enough that simply being made to sit in the corner for a few minutes is pretty effective.

I have smacked my daughter once or twice. The only time it was effective was in response to her hitting me (and, really, everything else she could reach). I slapped her hand to show her that it hurt people when you hit them. The rest of the time it just had no effect, but time-outs seem to work wonders.
 
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