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What Is Marriage?

jasonc said:
One can't change the other half or vice versa.
Click to expand...
Exactly.
You can only change yourself.
Anyway, you're not supposed to marry someone you want to change.
You're supposed to like them the way they are.
You have to also like the person you love. Right?
 
Love is commitment.
Marriage is work.

And how do you know if you found the "right one".
Hummmm.....
Well, if making them happy is more important to you then worrying about yourself, = that would be a clue you might want to keep that one.
And in my lifetime, regarding my love life, i find that if i can be in a room with the person and we dont have to say a lot, but can just "be".......And its good... ....Then thats a real clue for me regarding them.
On the flip side, you really need to marry someone whom you enjoy listening to them talk, as if you dont, that can be a long 50 yrs:)
Good conversation.....that is just so important......to be able to communicate.......almost to the point of being able to read their mind..
To instinctually know what they want......this is another clue that this one's for you.
There is the saying that "opposites attract then they attack"......and this is very true.
So, your mate needs to like what you do, and enjoy what you like, and you the same regarding them.

I like to do stuff., sometimes to plan it, but often just get an idea and go do it.
so, "she" needs to be able to like this:)
I dont want to fight about getting ready to go, i want to say...."here is an idea, and she says......are you ready....i am...
Like that.

And what is the secret to a successful marriage?
Thats easy.
Find out what they love, and do that.
Find out what they hate, and dont do that.
Those 2 things cover a lot of territory and it takes time to learn them, but once you do...then obey those 2 rules and your home will be happy a whole lot more.


so, anyway.
thats about .00005 % of what i wanted to write, but, i'll leave it from here.

This is an interesting Thread.
After reading the responses i feel like i just watched a romantic movie on "The Hallmark" network.
Enjoyed it.

-----
 
Kidron said:
Love is commitment.
Marriage is work.

And how do you know if you found the "right one".
Hummmm.....
Well, if making them happy is more important to you then worrying about yourself, = that would be a clue you might want to keep that one.
And in my lifetime, regarding my love life, i find that if i can be in a room with the person and we dont have to say a lot, but can just "be".......And its good... ....Then thats a real clue for me regarding them.
On the flip side, you really need to marry someone whom you enjoy listening to them talk, as if you dont, that can be a long 50 yrs:)
Good conversation.....that is just so important......to be able to communicate.......almost to the point of being able to read their mind..
To instinctually know what they want......this is another clue that this one's for you.
There is the saying that "opposites attract then they attack"......and this is very true.
So, your mate needs to like what you do, and enjoy what you like, and you the same regarding them.

I like to do stuff., sometimes to plan it, but often just get an idea and go do it.
so, "she" needs to be able to like this:)
I dont want to fight about getting ready to go, i want to say...."here is an idea, and she says......are you ready....i am...
Like that.

And what is the secret to a successful marriage?
Thats easy.
Find out what they love, and do that.
Find out what they hate, and dont do that.
Those 2 things cover a lot of territory and it takes time to learn them, but once you do...then obey those 2 rules and your home will be happy a whole lot more.


so, anyway.
thats about .00005 % of what i wanted to write, but, i'll leave it from here.

This is an interesting Thread.
After reading the responses i feel like i just watched a romantic movie on "The Hallmark" network.
Enjoyed it.

-----
Click to expand...
I love everything you've said Kidron.
Your recipe would certainly work.
If each person would concentrate on keeping the other one happy, it would work wonderfully.
Too often I see each person going for the last chocolate instead...

Your post made me feel like I just watched a romantic movie...
 
wondering said:
Exactly.
You can only change yourself.
Anyway, you're not supposed to marry someone you want to change.
You're supposed to like them the way they are.
You have to also like the person you love. Right?
Click to expand...
Sometimes we marry against God's will,and they are lost .

Divorce?
 
wondering said:
Lovely testimony Bill.
True love will overcome every, and all, problems.

I also like to say that marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. That won't work. It creates much stress in a couple. In my opinion.
I say it's 90/10 at any given moment.

And it pays off to have remained together in the later years of life.
My husband will never look old to me!
Click to expand...
Until 1990 I would not date a girl that was not between 18 and twenty-five. That was not an issue with my first wife, but it was with two and three. I married Deeter and she is almost a year older and is the absolute smarted, sexiest woman I have ever known and no matter the changes, when thye lights were turrned off, I an still in bed with that beautiful long legged blond that was dumb enough to slow down and let me catch her.
 
th1b.taylor said:
Until 1990 I would not date a girl that was not between 18 and twenty-five. That was not an issue with my first wife, but it was with two and three. I married Deeter and she is almost a year older and is the absolute smarted, sexiest woman I have ever known and no matter the changes, when thye lights were turrned off, I an still in bed with that beautiful long legged blond that was dumb enough to slow down and let me catch her.
Click to expand...
She wasn't so dumb to let you catch her.
Apparently, she made the right choice!
You must have been running pretty fast yourself....
 
wondering said:
No.
I believe God would want you to stay in your marriage.
What about being equally yoked?
I doubt we all have Christian spouses. So?
Click to expand...
I have no intention of divorcing but just because a husband obeys the Lord doesn't guarantee your spouse will submit.ever see how a tug boat slows a larger more powerful ship down?

It's very much like that. I'm not saying my wife is crude but if you aren't in my boat you don't understand.

It gets hard to answer ,do you regret it?

I'm not saying,suggesting I'm perfect in this ,I'm not
 
jasonc said:
Sometimes we marry against God's will,and they are lost .

Divorce?
Click to expand...

hello jasonc, dirtfarmer here

There are many things that believers do that is not God's will.

1 Corinthians 7:15 states: " But if the unbelieving departs, let him go. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases; but God hath called us to peace."

This is not saying that a believer is to do anything to get the unbeliever to leave, but that if they, through no reason but their own, they decide to leave, then let the go.

If I understand marriage, vows are between the 2 parties, not between a man or a woman and God. God is a witness but not part of the giving and receiving of vows.
 
wondering said:
Exactly.
You can only change yourself.
Anyway, you're not supposed to marry someone you want to change.
You're supposed to like them the way they are.
You have to also like the person you love. Right?
Click to expand...

hello wondering, dirtfarmer here

I agree, we are not to marry someone that we hope or want to change. If there are things that you don't like before marriage, they become things that you hate after marriage. If you can't accept them the way that they are before marriage, then you will detest them after marriage. Good post!!!!
dirtfarmer
 
jasonc said:
I have no intention of divorcing but just because a husband obeys the Lord doesn't guarantee your spouse will submit.ever see how a tug boat slows a larger more powerful ship down?

It's very much like that. I'm not saying my wife is crude but if you aren't in my boat you don't understand.

It gets hard to answer ,do you regret it?

I'm not saying,suggesting I'm perfect in this ,I'm not
Click to expand...

hello jasonc, dirtfarmer here

As you say, you may live your life with a wife that has a mind of her own and never consults with you about her decisions. She has made her mind up and nothing is going to change.
 
reba said:
Totally understand jasonc... I made a vow to God and i do my best to keep that vow.. It aint been easy most of the 53 years..
Click to expand...

hello reba, dirtfarmer here

Life is never easy, we are pilgrims in this world. But! even though life is hard, there are times when we should be able to "go down memory lane" and see that we were walking together, hand in hand, by the Lord's leading, that he has caused the harshness to be memorable times of togetherness.
 
I want to stay single for life, the only problem is when i get old I will have no one to look after me. What if i get dementia or something.
 
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