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"What Your Husband isn't Telling You" - Dave Murrow

ZHarner83

ZHarner83

Member
I bought this book for my wife a few weeks ago after hearing the author, Dave Murrow, speak at our Men's Conference.

On the drive home, I started reading the book myself. This is the first book that I have ever read in one day. It was quite surprising. I couldn't put it down.

The author does a great job at explaining how we feel as men in our marriage. He explains it in a manner in which your wife will understand.

My wife is now reading this book. I haven't received any feedback from her on it, but I should hear something when she is done.

I recommend it to anyone that is wondering how to get deeper into their marriage.
 
I suggest you forget all the self-help books and the gender stereotypisation and get to know the individual you're married to.
 
tim-from-pa said:
Deborah13 said:
I suggest "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" both my husband and I read it.
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My wife and I each had a copy to read. Unfortunately while we were travelling she left hers on Venus and I forgot mine on Mars. :lol
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:lol
I think it's a good idea to read books together, for some couples... but it doesn't seem to work for my husband & I.
I love to read, he doesn't. When we read, it usually puts him to sleep.
 
Claudya said:
I suggest you forget all the self-help books and the gender stereotypisation and get to know the individual you're married to.
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I think I can meet you a little more than half-way here. Through 19 years of marriage I've read a few of these books and found that there is a lot that I can learn there, but that I had to look for the general ideas and then tailor them to my own marriage for me to get anything out of them. To apply anything directly didn't work, because my wife and I didn't fit the molds that a lot of these books want us to. You see, my wife is from Jupiter and I'm from Saturn, so we don't quite fit in with everyone else.

So, I'd suggest going ahead and reading some of these books, but also be willing to recognize that they don't exactly fit every couple and every situation. Look for the broad ideas and then see how you can tailor them to your own relationship :)
 
Comprehender said:
I think it's a good idea to read books together, for some couples... but it doesn't seem to work for my husband & I.
I love to read, he doesn't. When we read, it usually puts him to sleep.
Click to expand...

Get him a Nook or similar e-reader. They're small, and can be held like a book in bed so it's not clumsy to hold like a laptop or even a bigger ipad. And if he does not want to buy books or pay for anything, these same things can get the Internet. Guys seem to like reading about things with pictures in them, so going on the Internet is a plus. I have mine for over 2 years now and did not buy one book yet, there's plenty of free books and reading material online. Plus, they won't get drive-by viruses like a typical, irritating PC does several times a year as these things are like little Macs or Linux machines --- mine runs on Android. Well worth about $100 (but you have to have Wifi of course :))
 
I generally avoid self-help books, as they tend to be filled with secular perspectives more than biblical ones. I did read a book with my wife a while back. Can't remember the title, but it had to do with marriage bed relations more than every day stuff.

What I found most helpful when we first got married is taking personality tests, and finding out what our "love languages" are. This will go a long way toward becoming more in tune with your spouse than any self-help/motivational book. Though, having said that, there is one "self-help" book I will always look to for guidance: The Bible.

Over the years, even more so recently, I have discovered that it is better to right to the source rather than to look to what other people's "interpretation" of it is. This is important in many aspects, but even more so when it comes to your relationships.
 
Knotical said:
Though, having said that, there is one "self-help" book I will always look to for guidance: The Bible.
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I agree. If both spouses are willing to give 100% to behaving as the Word instructs them to, they will be very happy in their marriage.
I'm not saying there will not be cloudy days but the sun will shine again.
 
Knotical said:
generally avoid self-help books, as they tend to be filled with secular perspectives more than biblical ones. I did read a book with my wife a while back. Can't remember the title, but it had to do with marriage bed relations more than every day stuff.

What I found most helpful when we first got married is taking personality tests, and finding out what our "love languages" are. This will go a long way toward becoming more in tune with your spouse than any self-help/motivational book. Though, having said that, there is one "self-help" book I will always look to for guidance: The Bible.

Over the years, even more so recently, I have discovered that it is better to right to the source rather than to look to what other people's "interpretation" of it is. This is important in many aspects, but even more so when it comes to your relationships.
Click to expand...

Yeah that's pretty much spot-on. There are millions of self help books, and they all claim they finally give you all the answers you need to be a happy person.
But those books impose the worldview (oftentimes that means: the stereotypes and simplifications) of the author upon the reader. Christian books just as much as secular ones, sadly. :sad For marriage books that usually means they perpetuate stone age sexist cliches, and by doing so they suggest it's okay to think in boxes and discriminatory stereotypes, and so they support the conservation of sexism (causing damage to humans of both genders).

If a person or a couple has serious problems they're probably better off seeking counselling or a therapy, because a counsellor/ therapist can take care of individuals instead of stereotyped groups. But it takes longer and more effort for a therapy to show results, so I guess reading shallow books is just more convenient to many people.

And it's a huge market. Book stores here have huge sections of self help books. Many of them about how to have good sex. It's a miracle how mankind hasn't gone extinct in all those millennia past before the self help book market *finally* arose to teach us how to enjoy procreation. :halo
 
Claudya said:
Knotical said:
generally avoid self-help books, as they tend to be filled with secular perspectives more than biblical ones. I did read a book with my wife a while back. Can't remember the title, but it had to do with marriage bed relations more than every day stuff.

What I found most helpful when we first got married is taking personality tests, and finding out what our "love languages" are. This will go a long way toward becoming more in tune with your spouse than any self-help/motivational book. Though, having said that, there is one "self-help" book I will always look to for guidance: The Bible.

Over the years, even more so recently, I have discovered that it is better to right to the source rather than to look to what other people's "interpretation" of it is. This is important in many aspects, but even more so when it comes to your relationships.
Click to expand...

Yeah that's pretty much spot-on. There are millions of self help books, and they all claim they finally give you all the answers you need to be a happy person.
But those books impose the worldview (oftentimes that means: the stereotypes and simplifications) of the author upon the reader. Christian books just as much as secular ones, sadly. :sad For marriage books that usually means they perpetuate stone age sexist cliches, and by doing so they suggest it's okay to think in boxes and discriminatory stereotypes, and so they support the conservation of sexism (causing damage to humans of both genders).

If a person or a couple has serious problems they're probably better off seeking counselling or a therapy, because a counsellor/ therapist can take care of individuals instead of stereotyped groups. But it takes longer and more effort for a therapy to show results, so I guess reading shallow books is just more convenient to many people.

And it's a huge market. Book stores here have huge sections of self help books. Many of them about how to have good sex. It's a miracle how mankind hasn't gone extinct in all those millennia past before the self help book market *finally* arose to teach us how to enjoy procreation. :halo
Click to expand...

Going the cheap easy route is the best way to go to start with.

Just as those books can be written by nuts and filled with crap so can/are many counselors. :toofunny If you notice many of those books are written by marriage counselors.

(written by a women with a social work degree that was working on becoming a family/marriage counselor when she decided the field was just to wack for her);)
 
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