The command in the Bible says "Children, obey your parents." It doesn't say "Adults, obey your parents." Obedience stops (isn't necessary) when you become an adult. If Jesus' mom told him to stay home and not go out and do ministry when it was time for Jesus to leave at around age 30 or so, I don't think Jesus would have stayed. He would have been sinning because God called Jesus to go out. If you let your dad's past hurts and fears control your life, you are, in a way, letting the devil have a direct control over your life, because the devil is the one who helped to bring about that pain, and he delights in all the effects it can have. I'm not saying that everyone needs to learn to drive, sometimes driving is actually a worse way to go (negative effects on the environment and etc), but being controlled like a ragdoll by other people's pain isn't healthy.
As well, people are imperfect. Sometimes standing up to our parents when they are wrong can actually help them to change for the better. It takes wisdom to do this the right way, but sometimes it's necessary. Perhaps your father will thank you if you ever end up being able to drive him to the hospital when he wouldn't have been able to drive himself there in the first place. Of course, if he has the orphan thing going on, helping to love him by visiting a bit more than you would a general friend (including sending email), might help to heal him as well.
As well, people are imperfect. Sometimes standing up to our parents when they are wrong can actually help them to change for the better. It takes wisdom to do this the right way, but sometimes it's necessary. Perhaps your father will thank you if you ever end up being able to drive him to the hospital when he wouldn't have been able to drive himself there in the first place. Of course, if he has the orphan thing going on, helping to love him by visiting a bit more than you would a general friend (including sending email), might help to heal him as well.