I am torn between choosing what to do. I have two paths in life, the one that I am on.. and the one of opportunity to try something new. It's important at this age that I make an effort to find my feet, so I am under pressure.
I am tempted to go on the new path, but I have this heavy feeling. I think this feeling is God telling me to stick to the path that I am on. I know it is wrong to question his will, but I am at the point where I just want to ask God for the strength to rebel from his will - how messed up is that!
Then again, maybe I am interpreting the signs wrong- either way, faith is the weapon.. and patience. I know this is a test, I just don't know if I am being tested on my ability to stick to it and suffer with faith, or let go with faith. I know what way I want (the new exciting ways, which actually seem more worthy..even a calling). I know what I want is something I feel like doing, what I am doing now feels more like an obligation. But I don't know which way is actually easier (the familiar, or the fresh start). And overall, I know God knows what is best for me, and when the time is right.. but here I am rebelling? Or am I afraid? I don't know the meaning of my own feelings or even the distinction between what I say to myself and what God is saying to me :crazy
Whatever my point is, well I dunno.. I am just looking for whatever support there is to be given (anyone maybe with similar experience)? I need the help of the fellow Christian, not from my general friends who think whatever I want is the answer. Yes, I am going to God with prayers, requesting of grace and guidance. This whole experience, is bringing us close, which makes me thankful :yes
<3
I am tempted to go on the new path, but I have this heavy feeling. I think this feeling is God telling me to stick to the path that I am on. I know it is wrong to question his will, but I am at the point where I just want to ask God for the strength to rebel from his will - how messed up is that!
Then again, maybe I am interpreting the signs wrong- either way, faith is the weapon.. and patience. I know this is a test, I just don't know if I am being tested on my ability to stick to it and suffer with faith, or let go with faith. I know what way I want (the new exciting ways, which actually seem more worthy..even a calling). I know what I want is something I feel like doing, what I am doing now feels more like an obligation. But I don't know which way is actually easier (the familiar, or the fresh start). And overall, I know God knows what is best for me, and when the time is right.. but here I am rebelling? Or am I afraid? I don't know the meaning of my own feelings or even the distinction between what I say to myself and what God is saying to me :crazy
Whatever my point is, well I dunno.. I am just looking for whatever support there is to be given (anyone maybe with similar experience)? I need the help of the fellow Christian, not from my general friends who think whatever I want is the answer. Yes, I am going to God with prayers, requesting of grace and guidance. This whole experience, is bringing us close, which makes me thankful :yes
<3
