I don't think it really matters all that much what the "churches" say. You'll find 30,000 different denominations all holding on to various doctrines that either oppose or uphold one another.
I wish it were as simple as saying, "What does the Bible say", but it is rarely that simple.
There are churches that have woman as pastors. I know a few in my own town. And there are pastors in my town that are bothered horribly that a woman is preaching in the pulpit. Well, I know a few people that are bothered by it too. Anyway, you get my point. The church has been divided since Paul started preaching, and I don't think it's gotten much better... Actually, I think it's gotten worse.
But I do want to touch on something. Just because you've heard you can't be this or you can't be that... it doesn't mean that your only good for x, y or z. And heaven forbid, if your married and your husband says your only good for cleaning 'his' house, having 'his' kids and washing 'his' dirty underwear then by all means, your problem isn't with any church. Simply put, it's with your marriage... and if your going to a church that says your only good for those things, then you might think about attending a different church. Heaven knows you'll find one that will teach exactly what you want them to teach. I even hear some churches are now marrying same sex couples... so if you can find that, I'm sure you'll find a church that 'fits your view'.