I think the answer to you question would be somewhat different in different marriages. The key to remember is that marriage is to be the joining of two people into one person. So, the type of people that the two are will determine the type of way they become one.
I hope that makes sense.
As for me and my marriage, the way godly submission works is that we discuss things, make plans, have dreams. Then, we work together to make things come about. However, there comes a time when we have different opinions as to how to do things or accomplish something. That's when I step down and we do it his way. This truly doesn't happen all that often, but it does happen.
One thing to be careful of though, is the idea that if the wife is "more godly" or just better educated in the Scriptures, then the husband should follow her ideas when it comes to spiritual things. My husband and I really stumbled in this area. He truly wanted to attend the church that his parents were raised in and he was baptized in. (Not the exact same church, but in the same denomination.) I didn't want to because I knew that the church was heading far away from God. So, we wasted a few years of our married life going to churches that I felt were "biblical" and he was miserable in and just couldn't relate to. We went to several like this, causing our children to be uprooted from their church. It just seemed as if we were never going to find a church family that would be "home" to us.
The the Lord impressed upon me that I was not submitting to my husband. Steve wanted to go to the ELCA and I needed to submit to that. Even though the ELCA was going horribly away from godliness, God really convicted me to stop exhorting Steve not to take our family there.
So, we wound up being in the ELCA for almost two years. At the end of the time we were there, the ELCA voted to ordain gays and lesbians as ministers.
It was at that time that Steve, for the first time really in our marriage, started to take a strong spiritual stand and took our family out of the church and now we are in the Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod and couldn't be happier. Turns out, God had reasons why He wanted Steve to be in that denomination for a season, and, in His good timing, He brought us to a place that we both are very happy in.
Sometimes wives can make the whole "we are to obey God rather than man" thing a sort of "loop-hole" when it comes to wifely submission. Honestly, there probably aren't going to be many times when a husband is going to force the issue of something that is truly against a commandment of Gods.
Since you're still single, theLords, the best advice about wifely submission I can give you is to truly search for the kind of husband that will be a joy to submit to. Take the time to get to know him, see how he follows God, see what things that are going to come up in your marriage that you won't particularly like and ask yourself if you can truly submit to it. Do this kind of pre-marital examination, and you will save yourself years of stress.
lol
