Christ_empowered
Member
that's what I call my paranoia. ugh.
I'm usually on 20mgs/Abilify. doses for my "issues" go from 15-30, so...yeah. OK. I've been ramping it back up to 30 (after 30, Abilify starts causing problems w/ no real additional benefits...), to stay calm. Thing is...
somehow, my phone alarm went off at 6 AM, and I didn't sleep well the nite before. Ugh. I keep thinking -everyone- is talking about me. Rationally, I know...or I think I know...that it just isn't so, but...
its not an easy thing. Especially since I'm unemployed, but living comfortably around a lot of other people. That tends to "rub people the wrong way," or at least...draw suspicion, obviously.
I"m thankful for Jesus, my parents, my health, my life...my intelligence...
I have -so- much to be thankful for! Its just that...wow. "severe mental illness" does not play around. On the plus side, I'm well taken care of, I see the counselor and the job placement person at the clinic next week, and...and...
I just don't know. I need more social interaction, I need to mature a bit, I need...ugh. One foot in front of the other. I'm keeping my apartment surprisingly clean. I do round after round of dishes (no dishwasher...I deep soak those bad boys), I cook, I'm...Mr.Domesticity, LOL (as well I should be...).
So, its not as if i"m "out of control" or anything. Just...paranoid. LOL. And its not fun.
Thanks.
I'm usually on 20mgs/Abilify. doses for my "issues" go from 15-30, so...yeah. OK. I've been ramping it back up to 30 (after 30, Abilify starts causing problems w/ no real additional benefits...), to stay calm. Thing is...
somehow, my phone alarm went off at 6 AM, and I didn't sleep well the nite before. Ugh. I keep thinking -everyone- is talking about me. Rationally, I know...or I think I know...that it just isn't so, but...
its not an easy thing. Especially since I'm unemployed, but living comfortably around a lot of other people. That tends to "rub people the wrong way," or at least...draw suspicion, obviously.
I"m thankful for Jesus, my parents, my health, my life...my intelligence...
I have -so- much to be thankful for! Its just that...wow. "severe mental illness" does not play around. On the plus side, I'm well taken care of, I see the counselor and the job placement person at the clinic next week, and...and...
I just don't know. I need more social interaction, I need to mature a bit, I need...ugh. One foot in front of the other. I'm keeping my apartment surprisingly clean. I do round after round of dishes (no dishwasher...I deep soak those bad boys), I cook, I'm...Mr.Domesticity, LOL (as well I should be...).
So, its not as if i"m "out of control" or anything. Just...paranoid. LOL. And its not fun.
Thanks.