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Convert; Feeling God.

cheyisshy

cheyisshy

Member
Hello. I am a 19 year old woman in college. I have lived many years of depression and anxiety, and well still do.

I remember years ago, I was about 13. I was in a deep depression one night, far deeper than anyone, let alone a 13 year old should go through. Suicidal ideation was a huge part of it in particular. Then, I randomly thought of the Lord. I was crying, and in desperation came knocking to his door with minimal belief that it would do anything. My parents are lukewarm Christians at most, and I've only ever started attending church in recent times, so it really was out of the blue and I was basically atheist.

I don't know exactly how I was led to the feeling I came to, but a sensation of pure love washed over me and comforted me. I was shocked if I remember right, I really had no real belief that anything would happen. Sadly, I did not reflect much on this experience after it happened, and became full on an atheist years later.

But here I am. I have not had that same strong feeling yet, but I do feel the Lord. It is a bit scary, I'll be honest. I have many things to work through. I feel almost a bit ashamed. But here I am. I'm attending church weekly and will be offering my volunteer services for work my church does tomorrow. I have had trouble making new friends, but I hope to find some Godly ones in my church and other places.
 
Welcome to the Forums, and I hope you find some answers here, if not in the congregation you attend.
I do understand that feeling of intense love, as I have experienced it as well. It was in a near death moment after a car crash. There have been other times as well, but none so intense.

I hope you have a good bible in modern translation, like the New King James or New American Standard. Read it daily. Pray often. God will reveal Himself to you more and more as time goes on.
 
cheyisshy said:
Hello. I am a 19 year old woman in college. I have lived many years of depression and anxiety, and well still do.

I remember years ago, I was about 13. I was in a deep depression one night, far deeper than anyone, let alone a 13 year old should go through. Suicidal ideation was a huge part of it in particular. Then, I randomly thought of the Lord. I was crying, and in desperation came knocking to his door with minimal belief that it would do anything. My parents are lukewarm Christians at most, and I've only ever started attending church in recent times, so it really was out of the blue and I was basically atheist.

I don't know exactly how I was led to the feeling I came to, but a sensation of pure love washed over me and comforted me. I was shocked if I remember right, I really had no real belief that anything would happen. Sadly, I did not reflect much on this experience after it happened, and became full on an atheist years later.

But here I am. I have not had that same strong feeling yet, but I do feel the Lord. It is a bit scary, I'll be honest. I have many things to work through. I feel almost a bit ashamed. But here I am. I'm attending church weekly and will be offering my volunteer services for work my church does tomorrow. I have had trouble making new friends, but I hope to find some Godly ones in my church and other places.
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God bless you Chey, and welcome. Dont feel ashamed. Angels were cheering in heaven when you came back :)
 
cheyisshy said:
Hello. I am a 19 year old woman in college. I have lived many years of depression and anxiety, and well still do.

I remember years ago, I was about 13. I was in a deep depression one night, far deeper than anyone, let alone a 13 year old should go through. Suicidal ideation was a huge part of it in particular. Then, I randomly thought of the Lord. I was crying, and in desperation came knocking to his door with minimal belief that it would do anything. My parents are lukewarm Christians at most, and I've only ever started attending church in recent times, so it really was out of the blue and I was basically atheist.

I don't know exactly how I was led to the feeling I came to, but a sensation of pure love washed over me and comforted me. I was shocked if I remember right, I really had no real belief that anything would happen. Sadly, I did not reflect much on this experience after it happened, and became full on an atheist years later.

But here I am. I have not had that same strong feeling yet, but I do feel the Lord. It is a bit scary, I'll be honest. I have many things to work through. I feel almost a bit ashamed. But here I am. I'm attending church weekly and will be offering my volunteer services for work my church does tomorrow. I have had trouble making new friends, but I hope to find some Godly ones in my church and other places.
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The key in my experience is this: Repent of your sin to the Father, accept Christ as Your Lord and Savior and ask Him (as He did for the Apostles) to send you the power and understanding of the Holy Spirit.

Since I did that (sincerely is a key as well), He has shown me things when I needed to see them in my ongoing walk with Christ. Your post sounds to me like you are increasingly seriously seeking to do what God wants all of us to (help others wherever and whenever possible). Finally, whether you realize it or feel it or not God is always with you and if you simply trust Him He will show you what you need to see and who you need to talk to for your entire life. :)
 
Hey cheyisshy!
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Glad you are here and that you have made steps toward getting to know Jesus more. Hope to see you around the board sister. Welcome again xox
 
Hi cheyisshy and welcome to CF :wave2

The more you press into Jesus the more you will learn about our relationship with Him. You might want to start reading the book of John first as this will teach you about who Jesus is and what our relationship with Him is all about. Then start reading the whole new testament starting with Matthew and pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help teach you. There is also a Q&A forum you can use to ask us any questions you have and we will help you the best we can.

God bless :)
 
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