photo of the road
December 1991.
I sat there in my worn out VW Rabbit staring out the window at the falling rain. I had stopped in the middle of nowhere. There was no one around for miles, just a winding road and my yellow car parked at the foot of a small mountain. My gaze followed the mountain to the top, and I was thinking how small I felt there at the bottom. It was Thanksgiving and here I was sitting with an open bag of instant oatmeal in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. I poured the oatmeal in my mouth and then chased it down with a slug of water. It wasn’t very fancy, nothing like sliced roasted turkey, but it did ease the hunger. I had very little money, just enough to buy the bag of oatmeal and something to drink. All that I owned was in my car, I’d lost everything else. I had no photos of my childhood, no trinkets to remind me of some special occasion...nothing. I never felt so alone in my life. I thought, “God why is this happening to me? I’m supposed to be your child aren't I? I mean, you've always looked after me”. As I sulked, memories of rejection floated to the surface. I had no parents, no real family except a half brother. I was moved from one place to the next, living in thirteen foster homes, three boys homes and one orphanage. As I sat there listening to the rain fall on the roof I wondered if I made some mistake, or did something to offend God. I began to cry “God please...I can’t stand this anymore...help me please, help me!”.
I wept for nearly an hour, when I heard a car pull up and park along side mine. I turned my head the opposite direction so as to hide my face from the occupants. I thought to myself, “Just go away, I want to be here...alone”. An older woman and a boy got out of their car and walked a few yards towards the mountain. They looked like they were talking to each other but through the rain I couldn't really tell. I didn’t care, I just wanted them to leave. After some time they walked back to their car and opened the doors, “good” I thought, they're leaving. I still had my head turned away when a knock on the glass startled me. I looked through the window to see the older woman standing there. She smiled and asked if I was OK.The window on that side of the car was broken, I had to hold the glass when rolling it or else it would fall down inside the door. I rolled it down a few inches, just enough so that someone couldn't reach their hand through the space. She continued smiling and looked at me like she had a secret, something she couldn't wait to tell me. Staring straight into my eyes she asked, “Are you a Christian?” I quickly looked away, and while studying the floor of my car I answered, “Yes, I am.” She didn't flinch, as if the answer wasn't really important. She lowered her head and spoke through the crack in the window, “You know Jesus loves you”. And then she straightened up, did an about face and walked back to her car. For a while I continued to stare at some place near my feet, when she knocked on the window again. This time I didn't look up, and mumbled "yeah". She announced, "God told me to give this to you". As I looked up, she reached into her jacket pocket, pulled out something and pushed it through the opening in the window. "Go and get yourself a hot meal and a warm place to sleep tonight.” And with that she turned on her heels, walked again back to her car, got inside with her son and drove away. I looked down at what I held in my hands, and stared at it in bewilderment. A hundred dollar bill. My body began to tremble. It was as if joy and sorrow met face to face for a duel, and the battleground was my heart. Tears came, but this time it was no stream, this time they gushed out like water bursting from a dam. I cried and cried for what seemed like forever. I just couldn’t stop. And then inside of me, deep inside, I heard a voice. “My child, I will never leave you”.
I sat there for a long time. I forgot about being alone, about rejection, I even forgot about the hunger. Jesus heard my cries. I was homeless, I had nothing...no gas, no food and no place to sleep other than the seat of my car. Parked on a lonely road, in the middle of nowhere, on Thanksgiving, at a time when most people are home with their families. One car out of the thousands that could have drove by, just so happen to be navigated by an older woman consumed by love. Jesus filled her heart and she was determined to share it with someone else...even with a homeless man living in his car.
1. Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer.
2. From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Psalm 61:1-2
1. Blessed is he who considers the poor; The LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.
2. The LORD will preserve him and keep him alive, And he will be blessed on the earth; You will not deliver him to the will of his enemies.
Psalm 41:1-2
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