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A new experience for me today

Wrg1405 said:
My eldest daughter is 17. She has a boyfriend. We did not allow boyfriends before she was 16.

Anyway the said boyfriend was coming over to the house today. My daughter thought I would be at work today so the said boyfriend would be gone by the time I'd got back from work.

She didn't know that I'd actually started my Christmas Break today. So this morning before I went out to get stuff for cleaning the oven I went up to her room. She said "Are you not working today? I said no. The reason I went to speak to her was to say "I'm off to get stuff to clean the oven but house rule is you and said boyfriend are not allowed to be alone in your bedroom"

Grumpy daughter was shocked I was at home and upset I laid down the house rule. She said "Its not like we would do anything" I said house rule is house rule. "Well where can we go? She obviously was worried about me meeting the said boyfriend as well.

So I said "You and the said boyfriend can take my man cave for the afternoon, I'm cleaning the oven this afternoon, I won't embarrass you"

So they did.

Anyway my new experience is this.

A couple of times I had to walk through my man cave, before I did I had to knock on the door. When I walked through they were holding hands or their arms were around each other.

Wow what a shock for me. Some boy has his hand in my daughters hand, they were cuddling on the sofa.

Even though I was shocked I'm quite understanding with the reality of life. That's why I laid down the house rule, after all I was a male teenager as well:lol

My daughter is now dating and I need to handle it in the right way.

So I've just gone a bought a shotgun and a pair of nut crackers.
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Just have a man-to-man talk with him while you are cleaning your shotgun.......
 
Wrg1405 said:
My eldest daughter is 17. She has a boyfriend. We did not allow boyfriends before she was 16.

Anyway the said boyfriend was coming over to the house today. My daughter thought I would be at work today so the said boyfriend would be gone by the time I'd got back from work.

She didn't know that I'd actually started my Christmas Break today. So this morning before I went out to get stuff for cleaning the oven I went up to her room. She said "Are you not working today? I said no. The reason I went to speak to her was to say "I'm off to get stuff to clean the oven but house rule is you and said boyfriend are not allowed to be alone in your bedroom"

Grumpy daughter was shocked I was at home and upset I laid down the house rule. She said "Its not like we would do anything" I said house rule is house rule. "Well where can we go? She obviously was worried about me meeting the said boyfriend as well.

So I said "You and the said boyfriend can take my man cave for the afternoon, I'm cleaning the oven this afternoon, I won't embarrass you"

So they did.

Anyway my new experience is this.

A couple of times I had to walk through my man cave, before I did I had to knock on the door. When I walked through they were holding hands or their arms were around each other.

Wow what a shock for me. Some boy has his hand in my daughters hand, they were cuddling on the sofa.

Even though I was shocked I'm quite understanding with the reality of life. That's why I laid down the house rule, after all I was a male teenager as well:lol

My daughter is now dating and I need to handle it in the right way.

So I've just gone a bought a shotgun and a pair of nut crackers.
Click to expand...
:shock:hysterical
 
We raised 3 girls. The rule of the house was no boyfriend(s) under age 18, period. BUT if they chose otherwise, and a boy called on them longer than 2 weeks, it was straight to the doctors office for a NORPLANT to assure no premarital pregnancies for at least 5 years, and that we didn't care if they chose that route and got STD's. It was sufficient to scare them all out of it. OTHER than my youngest daughter who turned 18 a few months prior to graduation. She had a prom date (all my girls did all proms with dates, no shortage of interests, all gorgeous) that lasted a couple weeks past prom. She was a pretty strong believer by that time already, so I wasn't too worried about her, but I did drop the casual remark that he seemed a little gay to me. (my bad.)

The boyfriend was gone about a week later.

I came to somewhat regret this approach because 2 out of the 3 girls, even though long since married, decided with their husbands NOT to have children. They are both in their late 30's now and I don't think it's going to be changing, as much as we've prayed otherwise. After life on their own with few if any money issues and being able to do pretty much whatever they want, etc, they decided not to bring children into this world, for several reasons. We don't tell them how to live their lives or what to do.

In retrospect I might have preferred otherwise. But hey, what ya gonna do? Had to do what we thought was right for them under age 18. Specially after seeing so many kids get their lives derailed by irresponsible actions in this arena. But if/when they get better diploma's post high school, masters, multiple degrees, etc, and focus on work and achieving the impetus for children seems to be greatly diminished.
 
smaller said:
We raised 3 girls. The rule of the house was no boyfriend(s) under age 18, period. BUT if they chose otherwise, and a boy called on them longer than 2 weeks, it was straight to the doctors office for a NORPLANT to assure no premarital pregnancies for at least 5 years, and that we didn't care if they chose that route and got STD's. It was sufficient to scare them all out of it. OTHER than my youngest daughter who turned 18 a few months prior to graduation. She had a prom date (all my girls did all proms with dates, no shortage of interests, all gorgeous) that lasted a couple weeks past prom. She was a pretty strong believer by that time already, so I wasn't too worried about her, but I did drop the casual remark that he seemed a little gay to me. (my bad.)

The boyfriend was gone about a week later.

I came to somewhat regret this approach because 2 out of the 3 girls, even though long since married, decided with their husbands NOT to have children. They are both in their late 30's now and I don't think it's going to be changing, as much as we've prayed otherwise. After life on their own with few if any money issues and being able to do pretty much whatever they want, etc, they decided not to bring children into this world, for several reasons. We don't tell them how to live their lives or what to do.

In retrospect I might have preferred otherwise. But hey, what ya gonna do? Had to do what we thought was right for them under age 18. Specially after seeing so many kids get their lives derailed by irresponsible actions in this arena. But if/when they get better diploma's post high school, masters, multiple degrees, etc, and focus on work and achieving the impetus for children seems to be greatly diminished.
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Parenting is on the job training. By the time you figure out one stage, they are already into the next. Then by the time you get most of it figured out, they are moving out. Later in life, you know you made an impression when they start to sound just like you. I don't say anything but I do smirk a bit.
 
Papa Zoom said:
Parenting is on the job training. By the time you figure out one stage, they are already into the next. Then by the time you get most of it figured out, they are moving out. Later in life, you know you made an impression when they start to sound just like you. I don't say anything but I do smirk a bit.
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That is so so true.

Your better than me, I say "Told you so and here is my t-shirt to prove it"
 
Papa Zoom said:
Parenting is on the job training. By the time you figure out one stage, they are already into the next. Then by the time you get most of it figured out, they are moving out. Later in life, you know you made an impression when they start to sound just like you. I don't say anything but I do smirk a bit.
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It's pretty funny that an anti-establishment rebel from the 60's-70's like me ended up raising 5 Christian conservatives! How did THAT happen?! God Works in Mysterious Ways for SURE. :lol
 
JohnDB said:
Seriously...
Do you know his parents?
What kind of value system was he raised with?
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Good point. Also good to get to know them, because you (Wrg1405) probably aren't the only one with a house. :wink I'd want to know his parents have similar rules in their home.

God help both of us. We have daughters ages 15 and 18. God knows I love them both as well as our son, but our youngest is my Boo. We have an understanding that she's not allowed to date until she's 50. If I had a castle, I'd lock her up in the top of the tower and cut her hair very short! :cool2
 
Mike said:
Good point. Also good to get to know them, because you (Wrg1405) probably aren't the only one with a house. :wink I'd want to know his parents have similar rules in their home.

God help both of us. We have daughters ages 15 and 18. God knows I love them both as well as our son, but our youngest is my Boo. We have an understanding that she's not allowed to date until she's 50. If I had a castle, I'd lock her up in the top of the tower and cut her hair very short! :cool2
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I had a discussion with my 18yo SIL about this.
She wants what her sister and I have.
She doesn't want what her brother has.

And what that means is that if she wants something different than everyone else she has to do things differently than everyone else. Meaning that she probably won't date a lot or accept offers of dates. Even when it seems like all of her friends are marrie/shacked up she still will be single.
Because being different is soo much better than average.
 
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