A person can be suicidal for a brief moment when the thought enters their mind and they start dwelling on it, but yet a part of them knows they really do not want to die so it becomes a battle within them self, as well I know. Contemplating is very different then actually taken action. The thoughts go through your mind as you plan on how to take your life and even visualizing going through with it, but yet there is a fiber of sense in your spirit that says that is not the answer. I went as far as making a pack with God that if He did not change that which was broken in me, then game over as I couldn't handle life anymore.
BTW, when you cry out to God and lay it all out before Him is when changes begin to happen.