Already Gone - Teens Abandoning Faith

[Mike]

My ingrained knowledge of the Word mostly in story form has been a comfort, blessing, fortress, I know the Rock. Because i heard/saw (picture form) the Word. The story of Moses smiting the Rock and the water that gave life to parched folks. is the same as the Rock that was smote at the Cross and the water is the Living Water.

Good points, reba! But let me just throw this at you. The flood of information thrown at kids today is nothing like when I went to school, and I think you'd readily say even more so for yourself. Schools are jamming the secular world view down the throats of our teens much more than they once did. And in addition, they have this thing called the Internet that we never had at their age. As the ability to communicate has increased, so too does the Word living in the teens' hearts.

I agree that the Word is most powerful, like a double-edge sword, but if you can't get them to listen for 5 minutes with getting distracted, are they going to be reading His Word?

 

[handy]

Kids today are hungry for a real Spirit they want to know why they ARE. Todays churches seem to feed them a weak mix a touch of Jesus mixed with a bunch of the world... Give them Christ.... a Rock so when they look back they can see the strength.

So worth repeating!!!!!!!!

Kids today are hungry for a real Spirit they want to know why they ARE. Todays churches seem to feed them a weak mix a touch of Jesus mixed with a bunch of the world... Give them Christ.... a Rock so when they look back they can see the strength.


Kids today are hungry for a real Spirit they want to know why they ARE. Todays churches seem to feed them a weak mix a touch of Jesus mixed with a bunch of the world... Give them Christ.... a Rock so when they look back they can see the strength.

 

[handy]

Oh, and one more thing....

I'm sure all my brethren's children here are angelic little beings who hang upon Father and Mother's every word...

Mine aren't. Arrrgggghhh are they ever NOT.

But, one thing I try never to do is to confuse their general kvetching about going to church or going to catechism with a lack of hunger and thirst for God.

Yeah, they are going to complain about having to turn off the Wii, unplug the MP3 and get ready for church....but they complain about having to do the dishes, clean up their rooms, eat their veggies, sheesh, they complain about all of it.

But, they do love God and they do listen in Sunday school, church and catechism...I know, because I get answers like I got out of my daughter yesterday when we talk about things. They just don't want me or their dad to know that deep down inside, church, bible school and catechism is filling a very deep need of theirs.

It would be very easy to mistake the general rebelliousness of kids and teens for rebelliousness against God...and then try to correct the "problem" with ever more desperate ways to keep them on track....hip music, pastors who wear cargo shorts and sunglasses while preaching, never saying anything condemning, never, ever, EVER mention hell!!!!!

And, when they get a little older, it is any wonder that they would begin to see through the smoke and mirrors show and just chuck the whole thing as so much hypocrisy?

God can fill the need, He really can...we just need to make sure we are getting them there and not muddying the living waters with our own foolishness.

 

[reba]

AMEN

 

[pjt]

I liked Reba`s post too. I think we have to realize a few things. 1) No matter how entertaining or "relevant" we make church to fit society, if someone does not have a heart for God, nothing will change that. Likewise, we can have the most basic Bible study in an old, undecorated cold room without any heat or air conditioning, no padded seats, and no refreshments and that room can come alive with JUST the Word of God. Probably those gathering will be much fewer in number if we stick to the basics and don`t offer a bunch of fanfare, but the fellowship will be much richer and sweeter so I think instead of catering to the uninterested, let`s focus on and feed the hungry.

2) When someone is hungry, they are not picky. Anything you offer them to eat they`ll relish. The same is true with a hungry spirit. It doesn`t matter what we study as long as we are studying the Bible not Christian books, commentaries, or popular worldly topics, but with just the Word of God it is satisfying, nurishing and growth comes. I have been in churches where the adult Bible studies are really book studies. Someone wrote a book and the people are sitting in there reading and discussing it as though there is more value in that book than the Bible. This is done in youth groups too especially with topics like dating. But we can read the Bible and figure out much more authoritatively about relationships. Why turn to another book? I don`t think anyone can ever know the Bible enough so the Bible is the only study Book we will ever need in church.

3) I don`t know if others have heard this theory, but recently I heard a pastor speaking on the book of Jude and he said we have entered the time of the "apostate church", and I look around and wonder if that is true. There`s a lot of unGodly stuff going on in churches today all in the name of God and we just see the fruit of it with so much worldliness in our church folk. I think if we just turned back to 3 things it would be best 1) the Bible 2) prayer 3) true fellowship within the Body. I think that is all our the Body of Christ/the church really needs to stay healthy.

 

[reba]

AMEN PJT Amen!


some more of my view...

It takes a real man to be a Christian male. For us women it is a tiny bit easier. Christian men need to STAND . We ( guys/gals in the pew) let the world creep into our churches a little bit at a time... Sorta like Samson.... Christian men should lead... Have we gotten so into the gentle side of Christ we have forgone the Mighty Hand of God. One does not negate the other.


Samson, that is another good Bible story the lessons are there.... sin sneaking in.


How can the churches of today expect respect of the Word when we Christians ignore the parts we don't like. On this board i have read 'well that is not for today' well that was for then...This by folks who know the Word

 

[Mike]

Kids today are hungry for a real Spirit they want to know why they ARE. Todays churches seem to feed them a weak mix a touch of Jesus mixed with a bunch of the world... Give them Christ.... a Rock so when they look back they can see the strength.

Reba, you did have some awesome thoughts! Please don't mistake my "yeah, buts..." as me disagreeing with you. I believe what you are saying. I'm just furthering the conversation with additional thoughts. Some might say I'm being a Nervous Nelly, but to your point I've quoted...

Yeah but, seriously, they do have that hunger, but I believe their childlike faith can be trampled upon by the constant barrage of opposing messages. This can happen to people of all ages, but to a teenage trying to figure out their place in this world, all the more. People like to echo the quote "Share the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." (or something like that) But I've always felt if we witness only with our actions, we will fall and inevitably bare false witness. We need to explain, though we stumble, we are seeking His Face.

So when children are in a vulnerable position to have their faith compromised, I don't think we can assume they are remaining hungry. Something may be decreasing their appetites for the Word. I believe we need to talk them through it.

God can fill the need, He really can...we just need to make sure we are getting them there and not muddying the living waters with our own foolishness.

Indeed He can, and we should consider it our joy to be used if He is calling us to be His Hands and Feet. All the cosmetics that distract the message at church are a knee-jerk reaction to the rebelliousness you spoke to, IMO. I believe we have gotten way off track in our efforts to meet them where they are at and that they would rather be pulled to where He is. I liken it to a child who deep down inside wants to be disciplined. They desire boundaries and structure in their lives. Otherwise, they could begin to feel we don't truly care. So too with church. They could feel the Church doesn't really care. It might meet an exterior passing emotion to fill their senses with all the trimmings, but deep down inside, they will be missing the Real Thing.

so I think instead of catering to the uninterested, let`s focus on and feed the hungry.

Very true, and I believe we can do both without neglecting one or the other. By feeding the hungry with high octane scripture, we can be drawing the hunger out of those who have lost it. I know you're not saying to dismiss those who aren't hungry, but we shouldn't be catering to them. I agree with this completely! I think I've spoken to feeding them without catering to them above. Nice post.

 

[pjt]

Yeah but, seriously, they do have that hunger, but I believe their childlike faith can be trampled upon by the constant barrage of opposing messages. This can happen to people of all ages, but to a teenage trying to figure out their place in this world, all the more. People like to echo the quote "Share the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." (or something like that) But I've always felt if we witness only with our actions, we will fall and inevitably bare false witness. We need to explain, though we stumble, we are seeking His Face.

So when children are in a vulnerable position to have their faith compromised, I don't think we can assume they are remaining hungry. Something may be decreasing their appetites for the Word. I believe we need to talk them through it.






Very true, and I believe we can do both without neglecting one or the other. By feeding the hungry with high octane scripture, we can be drawing the hunger out of those who have lost it. I know you're not saying to dismiss those who aren't hungry, but we shouldn't be catering to them. I agree with this completely! I think I've spoken to feeding them without catering to them above. Nice post.

Yes, Mike is exactly how I see it too. If we focus on the hungry and get them fed then that will energize them to the point that the uninterested might sit up and take notice of how healthy and fit (spiritually speaking) those being fed are and they too might get interested in trying some of that "food". But if our hungry are not properly fed, they`ll not look very different from then uninterested so the uninterested will have no light to really compare with. Everyone, Christians and nonChristians, will basically look, talk, and act the same so what`s the point? So yes, my thoughts are not to shrug off or not care about the uninterested but to draw them in and whet their interest by really taking care of our hungry, interested Christians. This serves many purposes. It allows rich growth for the hungry. It allows their growth to be a natural light and witness to the world. And it prevents having to water down the Gospel to try and attract the world.

As for your response to Reba, I can see your point here. When I was a child, we never had evolution taught in schools, home, or church. It just was not a topic of conversation. It was accepted that God created heaven and earth. People may not have understood all the theological points about it but the basics of God as Creator were accepted. So when I was a child/teen, defending my faith never was a challenge I faced because I was not around people who challenged the existence of God and back then TV had gotten worldly but was not as bad as today so the challenge of God really was not on TV back then either as I recall. Today people just outright make fun of God and Christians on TV. That did not happen when I was young. So the challenges American youth face today are different than the challenges many of us faced when we were young and as parents and older people in the church we need to take this in consideration in preparing our children.

Personally, my challenges are a little different. I live in basically an atheist/agnostic/buddist/shinto/confusionist country where your church members are scattered from town to town, county to county. You don`t have a neighborhood church, but somehow even in this environment, the parents that invest are making it spiritually with their children but any parent that is not extremely dililgent and purposeful, generally loses their children to the culture. That`s what I`ve seen. Basically it falls heavily on the parents. By the JHS years, if the parents have not been diligent the children drop out of church and interest in God. The challenges are different in America, but I think the bar is raised for parents to be more diligent than in the past because the schools, society, friends, and even church are not going to be a parent`s support and backup anymore. America is still in a position where Christians can be a strong support of one another through the church, but if they are not, the burden falls squarely on the parents.

 

[Igor]

...Realizing there are only a few participating, I wonder if anyone could say any of these and other questions that can creep into a teen's mind have been adequately addressed by the pastor at church, in other "non-worship" settings, or both:

How do we know the Bible is reliable?
Has science disproved the Bible?
Is the World millions of years old?
How can the Bible stand up to carbon dating?
How does the Bible stand up to archeological fossils showing a succession of changes in man?

Mike, I haven't had computer access much lately, but saw this post and wanted to welcome you to the club. The lack of response you are seeing (with the obvious exeption of a blessed few) is the same situation I have run into in trying to talk face to face with Christian leaders about this same thing!

As far as addressing the questions you listed that can creep into a teens mind, it is even far worse than this. As an example, a youth was asked at a church youth group meeting recently "What does 'repentance' mean?" He couldn't answer. I don't mean he couldn't give a proper theological answer. He couldn't even give a basic dictionary deffinition. This was not a shy, immature, or mentally challenged kid by any means. He was a regular member of the group and normally exhibited a general disinterest in anything but the fun and games, usually being disruptive in Bible study sessions.

He truly had no idea of what the word "repentance" meant. Since repenting is one of the basics of being a Christian, how can any Christian not be able to give at least a basic deffinition of the word?

Now when I was a youth pastor this would have been an indication (allbeit one of many indications) that we had a non-christian in the group, and he may be a non-Christian only because he doesn't have a basic understanding of what Christianity is, and has never been challenged to accept Christ. Since he was a regular member, this would also indicate a strong possibility that others in the group may be in the same situation. Whatever the plan for that night's Bible study had been, I would have immedietly changed it to evangelism and worked it around to a clear teaching of what it takes to become a Christian, ending with a clear challenge to everyone that has not accepted Christ to do so. The rest would have been left up to God's Holy Spirit. (I really mean that. I would have been actively praying for the Spirit to guide my words as well as convict the hearts of the listeners. This works!)

So what did our modern day overworked volunteer "youth director" do with this oportunity? He simply told the kid that repentance "means to stop doing something" then went on with his original Bible study plan, which had no evangelism or explanation of any kind of how to become a Christian, and no challenge to do so. In fact the study was so watered down and poorly prepared that no one seemed to get anything out of it at all and the director just seemed to give up in frustration. I followed up on what happened after and determined that no effort was ever made to talk to this kid later on either. In fact, the youth director had no clue that the kid may not have understood the basics of Christianity!

So when it comes to answering questions from a Christian perspective regarding such things as you mention above, all I can say is good luck in getting anyone, at least from this particular youth group to answer any of them, and good luck in getting this typical modern day youth director to even recognize this as a problem, much less do anything about it.

Can the director even answer your questions? From what I have seen, I doubt it. Is this typical of other youth groups today? From what I have seen lately, it is. Is it tyopical of the group your teen is involved in? All I can say is that if I had a teen in a church youth group today, I would be doing serious investigation and making loud and serious demands upon my church leadership. But the reality is it just seems that almost no one cares about out teenagers anymore. We, as the body of Christ, will pay for this in the long run, and pay dearly.

How many of us that claim to be concerned with our youth have ever spent much time observing what goes on in their youth meetings? I mean really observe, over a period of time where you become a regular fixture, not just sit in on a meeting or two, causing everyone (mostly the leaders) to put there best foot forward because "Oh my God, a parent is watching me tonight!" How many have taken a really close look, and tried to see the effectiveness of our youth ministries from the shoes of a teenager? We need to do this if it is not too late. We need to do it now. And we need to change the situation now. We need to realize that, like Mike has leaned, too many Christian adults, leaders included, just don't care anymore. We need to remove them and put people in thier place that will care and do a better job!

 

[Mike]

Igor, I so desperately need to get to sleep. Great (and alarming at the same time) post! I'll wait until I have the time to respond in a deserving manner.

 

[pjt]

Mike, I haven't had computer access much lately, but saw this post and wanted to welcome you to the club. The lack of response you are seeing (with the obvious exeption of a blessed few) is the same situation I have run into in trying to talk face to face with Christian leaders about this same thing!

As far as addressing the questions you listed that can creep into a teens mind, it is even far worse than this. As an example, a youth was asked at a church youth group meeting recently "What does 'repentance' mean?" He couldn't answer. I don't mean he couldn't give a proper theological answer. He couldn't even give a basic dictionary deffinition. This was not a shy, immature, or mentally challenged kid by any means. He was a regular member of the group and normally exhibited a general disinterest in anything but the fun and games, usually being disruptive in Bible study sessions.

He truly had no idea of what the word "repentance" meant. Since repenting is one of the basics of being a Christian, how can any Christian not be able to give at least a basic deffinition of the word?

Now when I was a youth pastor this would have been an indication (allbeit one of many indications) that we had a non-christian in the group, and he may be a non-Christian only because he doesn't have a basic understanding of what Christianity is, and has never been challenged to accept Christ. Since he was a regular member, this would also indicate a strong possibility that others in the group may be in the same situation. Whatever the plan for that night's Bible study had been, I would have immedietly changed it to evangelism and worked it around to a clear teaching of what it takes to become a Christian, ending with a clear challenge to everyone that has not accepted Christ to do so. The rest would have been left up to God's Holy Spirit. (I really mean that. I would have been actively praying for the Spirit to guide my words as well as convict the hearts of the listeners. This works!)

So what did our modern day overworked volunteer "youth director" do with this oportunity? He simply told the kid that repentance "means to stop doing something" then went on with his original Bible study plan, which had no evangelism or explanation of any kind of how to become a Christian, and no challenge to do so. In fact the study was so watered down and poorly prepared that no one seemed to get anything out of it at all and the director just seemed to give up in frustration. I followed up on what happened after and determined that no effort was ever made to talk to this kid later on either. In fact, the youth director had no clue that the kid may not have understood the basics of Christianity!

So when it comes to answering questions from a Christian perspective regarding such things as you mention above, all I can say is good luck in getting anyone, at least from this particular youth group to answer any of them, and good luck in getting this typical modern day youth director to even recognize this as a problem, much less do anything about it.

Can the director even answer your questions? From what I have seen, I doubt it. Is this typical of other youth groups today? From what I have seen lately, it is. Is it tyopical of the group your teen is involved in? All I can say is that if I had a teen in a church youth group today, I would be doing serious investigation and making loud and serious demands upon my church leadership. But the reality is it just seems that almost no one cares about out teenagers anymore. We, as the body of Christ, will pay for this in the long run, and pay dearly.

How many of us that claim to be concerned with our youth have ever spent much time observing what goes on in their youth meetings? I mean really observe, over a period of time where you become a regular fixture, not just sit in on a meeting or two, causing everyone (mostly the leaders) to put there best foot forward because "Oh my God, a parent is watching me tonight!" How many have taken a really close look, and tried to see the effectiveness of our youth ministries from the shoes of a teenager? We need to do this if it is not too late. We need to do it now. And we need to change the situation now. We need to realize that, like Mike has leaned, too many Christian adults, leaders included, just don't care anymore. We need to remove them and put people in thier place that will care and do a better job!

This is a very well stated post and it rings home because I saw something similar happen with a missionary who was leading a youth group except it was the missionary who did not know the answer, yet this missionary was from a Christian family and he grew up in the church, but I guess it was just a watered down church so all he had to give the youth was the same watered down message he knew.

So again, we need to go back to the basics of just a good, solid Bible study. Our children, youth, and adults all equally need this nourishment. As Reba stated with our little children just teach them the big Bible stories to give them the "big picture" of the Bible and who God is and as they get older start giving more details, let them ask questions, and encourage a class that asks questions and have a teacher that is not afraid of questions. So each step we are moving our children and youth forward to dig deeper and deeper in His Word rather than deeper and deeper in social issues of the day or substanceless topics that tickle our ears.

 

[pjt]

Ah, here is another example. There is a woman in my email group that said she "couldn`t believe Easter was here again". I felt encouraged as I started to read her post asking if anyone knew of a place where Easter is celebrated. I assumed she was referring to a special church service, and my fingers were on the keyboard about to give a response when I read her next line that said used to the Hilton Hotel had face painting a magicians as well as a nice Sunday brunch. I just looked at her post and wondered what she had been taught about Easter? How could she justify equating Easter with magicians and face painting unless she had been to a watered down church that did activities and entertainment for Easter rather than giving the core Gospel message? It`s just shocking and sad to me, and the truth is there is no way around it that the church is greatly responsible for people being rather clueless to the fundamentals. (I know Easter is controversial for some so I don`t want to go there, but for those who do celebrate it, it is or should be about one thing only and that is the resurrection of Jesus Christ).

 

[emichael]

Mike,

I know this discussion is a little dated, but I came across it in a Google search and thought I would contribute in case you're still pondering some of these questions.

I've had some very similar thoughts on this, actually. I don't have kids, but talking with my little sister about her Sunday school experiences got me thinking. I find Sunday school, at least what it has become in the modern American church, to be pretty damaging. Partly because of how they teach and partly because parents tend to shirk all responsibility to those Sunday school teachers. In other words, the only Christian education children receive in a lot of cases is from those teachers, and nothing else at home. This is so, so dangerous.

I wrote an article online about this not long ago actually, if you're interested. It expounds on some of my ideas on this:

Why Your Kids Don't Care About God

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on these ideas as well.

 

[Boidae21]

My own children don't have any faith and they are 12 years and younger the 5 of them. I don't live with my children and they are 1200 miles away from me. Their mother, my ex-girlfriend is not a Christian and is actually agnostic or a very minor atheist if such a thing exists (very minor part is what I'm talking about). I wasn't a Christian when I was with their mom.

She after 10 years had decided she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me and decided to be with another man. She was resolute and because we weren't married (she doesn't believe in marriage) I really had no say in what she did. We lived in her mother's home as her mom was a traveling nurse and was never home. Being a stay-at-home dad for 5 1/2 years I had no where else to go and no money saved up. So I ended up moving back in with my parents 1200 miles away.

I met my wife in May 2009, I became a Christian in December 2009, my wife was a Christian when I met her, and we married January 2010.

I have no way to talk about my faith to my children. My ex-girlfriend doesn't want religion mentioned around them at all. So when we talk on the phone, or through Yahoo IM or texting on my phone I never mention God or Jesus. My wife never says anything either.

I have a good relationship with my ex-girlfriend and for the sake of my kids I want to keep it that way. If mommy and daddy start to fight it's not the adults that will suffer, but rather my kids. So my plan is when they are adults I will then start to talk to them about my faith. They are already good kids. They mind their manners, they open doors and hold them for people and they have decent morals because we have instilled them with decent morals from the start. I taught them everything that my mom and grandparents taught me about respecting elders, being courteous and doing to other's what you would have done to you.

I feel that within the confines of what I am able to do that I am doing the best that I can.

 

[handy]

It does sound as if you are doing the best you can in the situation...I agree, if you sharing your faith will disrupt the ability for you and their mother to parent them...then it's best to hold off.

Don't underestimate the power of living the gospel before them...acting out your faith as opposed to talking about it, and pray, pray, pray, pray for them.

 

[Boidae21]

My own children don't have any faith and they are 12 years and younger the 5 of them. I don't live with my children and they are 1200 miles away from me. Their mother, my ex-girlfriend is not a Christian and is actually agnostic or a very minor atheist if such a thing exists (very minor part is what I'm talking about). I wasn't a Christian when I was with their mom.

She after 10 years had decided she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me and decided to be with another man. She was resolute and because we weren't married (she doesn't believe in marriage) I really had no say in what she did. We lived in her mother's home as her mom was a traveling nurse and was never home. Being a stay-at-home dad for 5 1/2 years I had no where else to go and no money saved up. So I ended up moving back in with my parents 1200 miles away.

I met my wife in May 2009, I became a Christian in December 2009, my wife was a Christian when I met her, and we married January 2010.

I have no way to talk about my faith to my children. My ex-girlfriend doesn't want religion mentioned around them at all. So when we talk on the phone, or through Yahoo IM or texting on my phone I never mention God or Jesus. My wife never says anything either.

I have a good relationship with my ex-girlfriend and for the sake of my kids I want to keep it that way. If mommy and daddy start to fight it's not the adults that will suffer, but rather my kids. So my plan is when they are adults I will then start to talk to them about my faith. They are already good kids. They mind their manners, they open doors and hold them for people and they have decent morals because we have instilled them with decent morals from the start. I taught them everything that my mom and grandparents taught me about respecting elders, being courteous and doing to other's what you would have done to you.

I feel that within the confines of what I am able to do that I am doing the best that I can.

Thank you!

I think you're one of a handful of other people that has agreed with me and hasn't told me that I am sinning in not raising my children up in the ways of the Lord. I have been told that there is no way that I'm Christian because I don't obey God and tell my children all about my faith and not care what their mom says or does.

I have total peace in the way that I'm handling this and my wife is in agreement with me and I believe God is in agreement with me as well. Not everything comes in a black and white package.

 

[INHISHANDS55]

My 19 year old son is very a devout Christian. I spoke with him today and he assures me he is not losing his faith or leaving the church. WE homeschooled our son. He was not bombarded by anti religious messages at school. Kids hear anti religioun messages all the time.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Its been said that society is growing ever more narcissistic (a diagnosis which, by the way, will no long be a valid diagnosis in the new DSM). If you look at narcissism for what it really is in Biblical terms--self-love that eventually leads to self-destruction and death, basically the ways of the World--I think that's a pretty accurate assessment. I'm not pointing fingers--I used to be the most self-lovin' individual out there until Christ found me, and I think the root cause is social as well as personal--but I do think our growing self-love/self-obsession makes it harder to come to terms with Absolute Truth and the Creator of the Universe. I mean, how can you fit the real God into your life when your whole life, in the name of "self-esteem" and "mental health", you've been taught that you are the center of the universe, a sort of God in your own right, unique and "different" and oh so very "special" ?

It reminds me of this old book from the '70s I read called The Kingdom of Self. I found it inspiring. Basically, in order for God to take over, you have to stop ruling your own little world and let the real God move in and guide your steps. I think it was hard enough for many people to do that in the 1970s, but I think its become exponentially more difficult in a world that uses our self-importance to further its own ends. Being a decent, God-fearing human being has never been exactly easy, but now its down right heretical. Loving the real God and doing what you can to serve Him runs counter to the self-love, self-esteem, self-improvement gospel that's taught with religious fervor.

 

[childeye]

Elijah, I find that there is a lot of truth in your post...one can hardly blame the kids for the failings (and falling away) of the church.

I find that the church truly has abandoned a lot of what she should be doing...trading going out into the world with the gospel with trying to compromise with the world in hopes they will beat a path to our door.
Condemning what worldly people do or want to do (gay marriage?) and yet turning a blind eye to blatant sin within our own household of faith. Seeking after feel-good experiences rather than being iron against iron or truly devouring God's word so that we can discern truth....

Is it any wonder that our children might look upon we elders as hypocritical?

That's how I felt, The church was Ho Hum. Some of the teachings were not palatable especially for my children. I've found problems in many churches, no fellowship. No agreement and too much let's agree to disagree. Nothing Christlike, just hypocritical judgment and reasoning. All my children know the Christ, why God sent a Christ and How that makse the difference in the soul. They know the Truth of God and so they know the lies of the devil. It seems the churches don't know.