Any atheist jokes?

[Paul1965]

2love it Agua, shows perfectly the futility of the whole atheist / big bang standpoint. Can't have a big bang from nothing.

 

[Paul1965]

Unless a cause happened for no reason and come from a non- cause, and you must start with blind faith as the study of science is only a study of progress.

Exactly, because "blind" faith is what it is all about.
" ...you believe because you have seen, but blessed are those who have not seen yet believe..."

 

[jasonc]

the bbt doesn't deal with the origin of matter just what happen from the first moment of time till present. not that I believe in the idea of matter compressed to the point of massive expansion.

 

[agua.]

the bbt doesn't deal with the origin of matter just what happen from the first moment of time till present. not that I believe in the idea of matter compressed to the point of massive expansion.

Yeah Jason. The BB is compatible with Creationism and it's interesting that the theory places all the current matter + energy into something sized less than an electron. Almost creation ex nihilo :D

 

[jasonc]

Its not. but that is off topic. I will say this if you try to take genesis for what it says otherwise, you remove the first audience and the "Jewishness" of it and its just an allegory. I prefer not to.

 

[Milk-Drops]

I read something on the news saying they just 'confirmed' the BB. So how reliable and trustworty is this confirmation and, who confirms it?.

It depends on which news network ran the story. Mainstream news outlets are more interested in running stories than making sure the public is educated, so its possible that the news agency was exagerating. If you want to know the most current information on cosmology, it is best to subscribe to a journal.

 

[jay55]

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an atheist?
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

 

[jay55]

An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!. ” There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: “No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you. ” So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief. As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: “Okay . . . . . NOW you’re screwed.

 

[jay55]

An atheist dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thinks to himself "I know I lead a wild life but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this." Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.
Counselor: What's the problem, you look depressed?
Atheist: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.
Counselor: Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?
Atheist: Sure, I love to drink.
Counselor: Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much a you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?
Atheist: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Counselor: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart's desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays. Do you do drugs?
Atheist: Well in my younger days I experimented a little.
Counselor: You are going to love Wednesdays. That's drug day. You can experiment with any drug you want and you don't have to worry about overdoses or getting hooked because you are already dead. You are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?
Atheist: Yes, I love to gamble.
Counselor: You are going to love Thursdays because we gamble all day and night -- black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?
Atheist: Uhh...no.
Counselor: Oh , you're gonna hate Fridays...