Clueless
Member
Hello my new brothers and sisters,
I'm new here on this forum, as well as I'm new, or renewed in Christianity. I would like to get in touch via a forum so I can see more perspective on different topics. As well as being able to throw questions or dilemma's into the wild. I'm Dutch of origin, my English is at a quite proficient level for a non-native speaker. But some spelling mistakes, or grammar rules, aren't always applied perfect. I hope this can be excused.
Below I've told a little about myself and how I got back to Christ, but for those who don't feel like reading that much, I would just like to say ''hello!''
.
A little about my past
I'm not exactly new to Christianity, I've been a strong believer and follower of Christ till about 12 years of age. Although, I'm not sure if at that time it was personal belief, or maybe habit. My parents are both atheist, they divorced and the new-wed partners are also non-believers. Unexpectedly, they did raise me Christian, they read the children's bible to me, send me to a christian schools. My grandparents are believers, they tought me how to pray, when to pray and took that ''religious'' parenting role which my parents weren't knowledgeable about. However, my parents always put emphasis on my free choice.
Turning into a young adult
As a young adult I started to question a lot of things, as I guess everyone will do. The pre-teen years are known for questioning a lot, however, since I wasn't member of any religious community, the public space in my country, the information frames of scientist like Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens, quickly let me to believe God didn't exist. It all seemed very logical.
What changed?
About 5 years ago I realised that I didn't want to be seen as an atheist, atheism a very strong organised movement, that unites their belief (in my eyes) in the attack on other believes. I know society isn't as simple as that, there are many different atheist with respect to others religion. I realised that most of these atheist didn't just deny the existanse of a God, but they found humans with belief actually stupid. (I have been one of those people at one point in my life). The western atheists has succeseeded in giving value to everything, but have unsucceeded in giving purpose to anything.
About 2,5 year ago
I realised the immense value and purpose that Christianity brought to people, not only in the satisfaction of life, but statistically, religious people felt more purpous in life, they felt happier, they had a better community. I started to respect Christians more, I started to see the value of Christians and their movements. Their way of living, their characters, how they treat others.
So I talk about this with a man from the Gym, a catholic, he invited me to go to Eastern mass. I said yes. I walked out and though ''Why did I say Yes to this, I aspire to be man of my word, so I went''. During the mass, the pastor said ''Jesus didn't come back from the dead because he is the son of God, Jesus rose from the dead because he said he would''. This is something that triggered me on the inside.
As I was thinking about this for a few days, ding dong, door bell rang. Jehova's witnesses wanted to talk with me. I opened my door for them, we had a drink for an hour or so and talked about faith, non-faith, modern day society and some more things. So I went to do some more research for a while.
About 1 year ago
About 1 year ago, I felt like I knew it. Everything fell into place. It's extremely difficult to explain, but my experiences from those 2,5 year all connected. It suddenly all made sense, like I found the missing piece of a puzzle. As revealing as this experience was for me, it was equally hurtfull. I felt like I had dissapointed God, I still do. The closer I get to Christ, the more I see that I've been a piece of trash in my actions, in my thoughts and in my heart. It's kinda like coming back home with only F's on my score list, and on top of that, I never really attended classes, and beat up that kid in the hallway.
But as much as I am hurt for my own stupidities, like I said, I'm equally inspired and motivated to get closer to Christ.
Daily I'm trying to do better, learn more, I've started to pray, I'm trying to get rid of other sins.
I know that it is a road, it's an experience, I can't change my thoughs and behaviours over night. To expect that of myself is idiocy, we can't change to another character so quickly.
If you did sit through all this. And if you might recognise some thoughts or feelings. Please share them.
To others, feel free to to engage
I'm new here on this forum, as well as I'm new, or renewed in Christianity. I would like to get in touch via a forum so I can see more perspective on different topics. As well as being able to throw questions or dilemma's into the wild. I'm Dutch of origin, my English is at a quite proficient level for a non-native speaker. But some spelling mistakes, or grammar rules, aren't always applied perfect. I hope this can be excused.
Below I've told a little about myself and how I got back to Christ, but for those who don't feel like reading that much, I would just like to say ''hello!''
.A little about my past
I'm not exactly new to Christianity, I've been a strong believer and follower of Christ till about 12 years of age. Although, I'm not sure if at that time it was personal belief, or maybe habit. My parents are both atheist, they divorced and the new-wed partners are also non-believers. Unexpectedly, they did raise me Christian, they read the children's bible to me, send me to a christian schools. My grandparents are believers, they tought me how to pray, when to pray and took that ''religious'' parenting role which my parents weren't knowledgeable about. However, my parents always put emphasis on my free choice.
Turning into a young adult
As a young adult I started to question a lot of things, as I guess everyone will do. The pre-teen years are known for questioning a lot, however, since I wasn't member of any religious community, the public space in my country, the information frames of scientist like Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens, quickly let me to believe God didn't exist. It all seemed very logical.
What changed?
About 5 years ago I realised that I didn't want to be seen as an atheist, atheism a very strong organised movement, that unites their belief (in my eyes) in the attack on other believes. I know society isn't as simple as that, there are many different atheist with respect to others religion. I realised that most of these atheist didn't just deny the existanse of a God, but they found humans with belief actually stupid. (I have been one of those people at one point in my life). The western atheists has succeseeded in giving value to everything, but have unsucceeded in giving purpose to anything.
About 2,5 year ago
I realised the immense value and purpose that Christianity brought to people, not only in the satisfaction of life, but statistically, religious people felt more purpous in life, they felt happier, they had a better community. I started to respect Christians more, I started to see the value of Christians and their movements. Their way of living, their characters, how they treat others.
So I talk about this with a man from the Gym, a catholic, he invited me to go to Eastern mass. I said yes. I walked out and though ''Why did I say Yes to this, I aspire to be man of my word, so I went''. During the mass, the pastor said ''Jesus didn't come back from the dead because he is the son of God, Jesus rose from the dead because he said he would''. This is something that triggered me on the inside.
As I was thinking about this for a few days, ding dong, door bell rang. Jehova's witnesses wanted to talk with me. I opened my door for them, we had a drink for an hour or so and talked about faith, non-faith, modern day society and some more things. So I went to do some more research for a while.
About 1 year ago
About 1 year ago, I felt like I knew it. Everything fell into place. It's extremely difficult to explain, but my experiences from those 2,5 year all connected. It suddenly all made sense, like I found the missing piece of a puzzle. As revealing as this experience was for me, it was equally hurtfull. I felt like I had dissapointed God, I still do. The closer I get to Christ, the more I see that I've been a piece of trash in my actions, in my thoughts and in my heart. It's kinda like coming back home with only F's on my score list, and on top of that, I never really attended classes, and beat up that kid in the hallway.
But as much as I am hurt for my own stupidities, like I said, I'm equally inspired and motivated to get closer to Christ.
Daily I'm trying to do better, learn more, I've started to pray, I'm trying to get rid of other sins.
I know that it is a road, it's an experience, I can't change my thoughs and behaviours over night. To expect that of myself is idiocy, we can't change to another character so quickly.
If you did sit through all this. And if you might recognise some thoughts or feelings. Please share them.
To others, feel free to to engage
