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Becoming Friends with Your Children

Mike

Mike

Member
I'm experiencing the beginning stages of a great transition as a dad. Our oldest child, Joshua, is going to be 16 in October. Yes, there are things that drive me crazy about him as a teen from a father's perspective, but I'm also starting to see how our relationship will evolve as he grows into adulthood. We slap around a lot; I mean we have fun. :yes

My friend and I have had Detroit Lions season tickets for years, and 2 years ago I got a seat for him. It is an awesome thing we share! Well, we're taking another step, because my buddy and I always pick an away game to travel to, and we're taking him with us. His first NFL road trip with dad!! We're going to Chicago when the Lions play the Bears in November. This is always a great Saturday to Monday trip, and I'll have my son/friend with us! It's a cool tradition my friend and I started 5 years ago, and I'm excited to build that tradition with him. :clap

It's really a neat transition that starts to shed a little light into how our relationship will be when he is an adult. :) Does anyone else have anything to share about a relationship with a child that evolved as s/he grew into young adulthood and after?
 
:) Yes, I know what you mean...Viola is getting to this point as well. And it is a lot of fun. It's fun just to go somewhere with her, like shopping or whatever and just kind of "be girls" with each other...which for girls mainly means we talk about boys! (Something I'm glad she's willing to talk with me about!)

I'm still "mom"...meaning that I still hold to that parent/child relationship...after all she's just turning 14...but yeah, I can get a glimpse of what our relationship will be when she is an adult and I think it's going to be a good one.

I think when a few more years go by she'll probably become one of my best friends and that's a good thing. (If I don't kill her during the next 4 years! :lol)
 
Sounds like the start of a great tradition!!:thumbsup



and lets not forget..................

GO PACKERS!!!!! :clap:clap:clap:clap:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
 
OK troupes we have to remember to pray for Handy and Viola for 4 years! :yes

O did i pay for the way i did my Mom :sad


Sounds great Mike What a blessing
 
Nacho said:
and lets not forget..................

GO PACKERS!!!!! :clap:clap:clap:clap:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
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We road tripped to Green Bay 2 years ago. That's a great venue for game day and awesome people, but if living there meant I had to be a Packer fan... mmm... no thanks! :D

Dora, it's a beautiful thing, huh? My son must think I have split personalities, because I can go from "buddy" to "dad" in the blink of an eye! :shocked!

I've shared my complaints about him (and my daughters) on this board plenty of times, but they're good kids. He's a good kid. I think we'll transition to an adult relationship pretty well. I'm a little more unsure how it will go with my daughters. We don't have that "sports bond" to usher us into adult-mode.

I wonder if, generally, it's easier to make this transition for dads with sons and moms with daughters. :chin
 
I'm often reminded of the following phrase.

When I graduated from high school I was appalled at how little my dad knew about things. By the time I graduated from college I was amazed at how much he learned!

It'll all work out in the end.
 
That's great Mike. I wish I could say I had a relationship like that with my dad, but sadly I did not. He was too busy. To this day I can not listed to "Cat's and the Cradle" ;), but when I was a kid I thought that song must be about everyone. I'm glad it's not.

I try to spend time with my girls, but they are not transitioning too much. My 10, soon to be 11 year old is a little and I set a side a day for each of them as often as I can.

My dad is getting on up there in age these days, and he suffers from dementia, but he always wants to help me do things around the house if he knows I have a project or two going on. He brings his tools, and I always make sure I have something for us to work on together. Can't make up the past, but you can always accept the now.
 
You know, Danus...if you haven't already done so...start "dating" your girls. One at a time.

Seriously, take her to a movie and then out for ice cream afterwards, a trip to the zoo...just you and her...no one else.

Treat her like a princess. Dress up nice for her, open the car door for her...give her every respect that you want the boys she will date later in life to give her.

Set the bar high...make them little buggers have something to live up to in her mind.

It will not only be good daddy/daughter time...she will gain a sense of how to be treated by a guy.


(You too, Mike!)
 
reba said:
Mike take the girls to the mall! A full week end of school shopping! :lol
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Reba, it's hard to bond within 5 minutes. If I go to a mall, that's about the time my inner-alarm goes off and I start getting the sweats. I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!

handy said:
Set the bar high...make them little buggers have something to live up to in her mind.

It will not only be good daddy/daughter time...she will gain a sense of how to be treated by a guy.


(You too, Mike!)
Click to expand...

Danus, what do you think of this advice. Dora wants to take our girls to the bar so we can show them what kind of guys to look for and where to look for them. :lol
 
Mike said:
Danus, what do you think of this advice. Dora wants to take our girls to the bar so we can show them what kind of guys to look for and where to look for them. :lol
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Ha ha, good one.

I’m just going to punch every boy who comes calling, and if they come back, well maybe they are sincere.

But seriously, I do spend quality time with my girls. I make it one on one. We go to breakfast or lunch, and do whatever they want, within reason. Not getting my nails done or shopping for cloths. That’s just momma’s job. However, zoo, movies, museum, skating or some such thing I can handle, and we have a good time.

When I found out we where having girls I was disappointed, but only for a few seconds. Sometimes at Christmas I get a little down shopping for gifts for them when I see all the cool boy toys, but I know that the bond between a father and daughter runs deep, and it affects their ability to understand intimacy in it’s highest regard later in life.
<O:p
I think that’s true of all parent child relationships. We grow up understanding love from our parents, and when we can present that love the correct way to our children in the same way God loves us, then we are passing on the greatest lessons we can pass to our kids, and in the way God would have us do so.

It takes a strong faith I think to do this. Some times as Dad’s we think our roll is just that of provider, like my dad thought. We break our backs making money for our family to have “stuff” and we think that’s our value to them. It’s not.

Above the door leading to my garage is a little sign that says; “Do not look back on this day with any regrets.” It’s there to remind me to make the most of this day for the things that are most important. It could mean different things to different people, but it reminds me to leave work at five o’clock, or not argue with my wife on the way to church, or tell someone leaving my house to be careful.
 
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