Being Nice to People

[elijah23]

When I was a boy, my church taught me to be nice to people. I think my church was right.

 

[Aardverk]

That's the prime thing Jesus taught.

My church taught me that they were right and everyone else was wrong, to do as I was told, to follow the strict rules and not to question anything2.

Shame I didn't go to your church instead.

 

[Captain Zepto]

When I was a boy, my church taught me to be nice to people. I think my church was right.

What do you do when someone isn't nice to you? Certainly seems difficult to be kind to the unkind.

 

[for_his_glory]

Treat others as you want to be treated even if they rile against you as we always need to be walking in the love of Christ lifting up and edifying one another and to also pray for our enemies that they to will see the light of Christ in us and accept Him as their own Lord and Savior. Love is the greatest commandment, Matthew 22:36-40.

 

[Comprehender]

I agree that it's good to be LOVING to people... but what does loving mean?
My kids are not always nice to me & think that I'm being mean when I make them eat their vegetables or go get cleaned up.
But I think pleasing them isn't as important as loving them.

Loving involves hoping & striving for what's best (through trial & error/active faith).

 

[Jethro Bodine]

... but what does loving mean?

“...Love your neighbor as yourself.†10 Love does no harm to its neighbor." (Romans 13:9-10 NIV1984)

"12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12 NIV1984)

 

[Pigeon]

What is the context of the first post? A complaint towards not nice Christians? Every single one of my liberal friends thinks the supporters of Chik Fil A would enjoy lining up every homosexual they saw and shooting them. That is what they want to believe we are about when that could not be farther from the truth.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

What is the context of the first post? A complaint towards not nice Christians? Every single one of my liberal friends thinks the supporters of Chik Fil A would enjoy lining up every homosexual they saw and shooting them. That is what they want to believe we are about when that could not be farther from the truth.

Didn't you know business owners are not allowed to share their beliefs and opinions that offend unbelievers? To the world that is being unloving.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I'm with the poster who said we are called to be loving. Loving someone--even unrepentant sinners--sometimes means speaking the truth in love and being honest to the point that you anger people or make them realize where they've gone wrong and where their non-Christian world views have erred. Happens.

"Nice" is a completely different ball game. Nice seems to me to just be a pale imitation of "kind." Its "nice" to say "have a nice day" or pretend to care about someone's life for 1-3 minutes. That's nice--somewhat pleasant, in a bland sort of way. "Nice" is not something I aspire to be.

 

[Pigeon]

Last night I listened to a podcast about sharing your faith on line. The internet is a hostile environment for Christians across the board so you gotta be prepared.

http://www.pleaseconvinceme.com/index/mn38479/PLEASECONVINCEME_PODCAST

A lot of thought provoking podcasts from this guy. The one about talking about Christianity on the internet is the latest one. I recommend a listen.

 

[Grazer]

Last night I listened to a podcast about sharing your faith on line. The internet is a hostile environment for Christians across the board so you gotta be prepared.

http://www.pleaseconvinceme.com/index/mn38479/PLEASECONVINCEME_PODCAST

A lot of thought provoking podcasts from this guy. The one about talking about Christianity on the internet is the latest one. I recommend a listen.

The internet can be a hostile place for anyone society deems different.

 

[SpagLard]

"12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12 NIV1984)

This is difficult , because i like to be tested and confronted,
i don't even mind if someone mocks me when i act like an idiot.
Most people don't want to be treated like i prefer/like to be treated. :yes

I think people are too different to treat everyone as if they expect/want
the same approach or treatment as i would want.

I don't like people being overly "friendly" or cordial when i don't know the first thing about them,
I can respect everyone , but i don't treat them like i treat myself, they are not me.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I think people are too different to treat everyone as if they expect/want
the same approach or treatment as i would want.

I can respect everyone , but i don't treat them like i treat myself, they are not me.

I think what the command means is treat others the way you yourself would want to be treated if you were in their shoes and were subject to their circumstances and had their likes/ dislikes, etc.

God helps us develop this trait by allowing us to experience things other people do...especially things we criticize in other people. It helps us understand people and what causes them to act the way they do so we can better sympathize with their struggle and make room to have a tolerant and forgiving attitude toward them.

 

[Speculative]

I agree with being nice and loving. I also agree that we should speak the truth in love, even when that means someone may not like it. We should still speak it with gentleness and respect. (1 Peter 3:15)

 

[SpagLard]

I think what the command means is treat others the way you yourself would want to be treated if you were in their shoes and were subject to their circumstances and had their likes/ dislikes, etc.

I think you are correct , that is what it means,
the command calls for empathy and compassion...
but i think it is impossible to know what is best for others,..
I can't place myself in everybody's shoes to experience how they do,
so my idea (of their standards or preferred manner of being treated) may not match anyone else's idea.

so while you may think you are doing right by someone, you actually are not , and can't , because often you don't know enough about their world of emotions and experience.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I think you are correct , that is what it means,
the command calls for empathy and compassion...
but i think it is impossible to know what is best for others,..
I can't place myself in everybody's shoes to experience how they do,
so my idea (of their standards or preferred manner of being treated) may not match anyone else's idea.

so while you may think you are doing right by someone, you actually are not , and can't , because often you don't know enough about their world of emotions and experience.

You are quite right. I think the foundation for how we treat others nicely, so they are not hurt by us, is found in Galatians 5:

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV1984)

If we make it our goal to be these things to other people we will be living the Christian life that God wants us to live. We don't have to know too much about other people's personal lives to know this is a good and beneficial way of how to be nice, not hurtful, to other people.

We all know it's not fun being the victim of someone's hatred, or lack of self-control, or harshness, or impatience, etc. So we should be careful to not treat other people that way.

 

[3rinfalacho]

What do you do when someone isn't nice to you? Certainly seems difficult to be kind to the unkind.

It is difficult to be kind to the unkind. It is your choice to go for higher road and not to sink lower your level to theirs. Its best to take the higher road each time.

 

[Comprehender]

“...Love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no harm to its neighbor." (Romans 13:9-10 NIV1984)

"12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12 NIV1984)

Hi Jethro,

I like the 1st scripture, but the 2nd seems to be a lower love than to love another as is best for them to be loved. If, when Christmas shopping, I loved my husband as I would like to be loved (ie got him the things I would like) he would be like, "What is this?" lol :p IMO, part of the ineffective attempts at humanitarian aid have been because they have "loved others as THEY want to be loved" insteaed of discovering how the other person wants/needs to be loved.

I also wanted to add how important it is to have GOD as our God, & not anybody else.
I see so much but-kissing, even when someone is known to be doing something harmful, which looks to me like worshipping people instead of God.
I've done this myself, sometimes. I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but I'm becoming more & more dedicated to truth (God/light/truth/true love) and less concerned with pleasing others. I do try to be respectful & not dish out too much of my perspective that might be too much of a rude awakening. I also realize that truth is in perspective, & especially spirit, which moves & motivates all life.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Hi Jethro,

I like the 1st scripture, but the 2nd seems to be a lower love than to love another as is best for them to be loved. If, when Christmas shopping, I loved my husband as I would like to be loved (ie got him the things I would like) he would be like, "What is this?" lol :p IMO, part of the ineffective attempts at humanitarian aid have been because they have "loved others as THEY want to be loved" insteaed of discovering how the other person wants/needs to be loved.

I think 'do to others' means doing to them if you were them and had their needs, values, wants, etc. That's how I understand it. And you're right, marriage is a perfect place to see how this works.

I heard about a pedophile who (mis)used this scripture to rationalize his abuse of children. He figured he would like to be molested so that's what he did to children.

I do try to be respectful & not dish out too much of my perspective that might be too much of a rude awakening. I also realize that truth is in perspective, & especially spirit, which moves & motivates all life.

There is a time and a place for all sharing of truth, and an appropriate measure that goes along with that time and place. I've learned it just takes time to know the when and how much.

As I'm growing I'm actually saying less and less to people, but being more to the point. Jesus was like that. It got him killed, so we shouldn't be surprised when we suffer for what we say either.

 

[Comprehender]

There is a time and a place for all sharing of truth, and an appropriate measure that goes along with that time and place. I've learned it just takes time to know the when and how much.

As I'm growing I'm actually saying less and less to people, but being more to the point. Jesus was like that. It got him killed, so we shouldn't be surprised when we suffer for what we say either.

Thank you for reminding me of this - encouraging!