Bullying

[jahjahwarrior]

Childhood bullying is such an overlooked but yet very serious problem among American youth today which can have major long term consequences and leave lasting scars among victims. I know this because I speak from personal experience. I've been heavily bullied throughout most of my childhood both physically, mentally and verbally. As a result, bitterness, anger and resentment has become one of my biggest struggles as a Christian. I've been physically abused by fellow peers, made fun of for various reasons including having red hair, and I even suffered abuse from the school bus driver and aid from a bus I rode to school. The most rock bottom point of my childhood came in 8th grade when my social studies teacher started a horrible sexual rumor about me (which was untrue) which spread like wildfire in a matter of hours. I will not go into details about it because we are in a Christian forum and I understand many children often read these posts. But I will say that the rumor was bad enough that it would for most people push them over the edge and cause them to commit mass murder and/or suicide. If it weren't for my faith in Christ, I would more than likely have started a school shooting so bad, it would make Columbine look like a sunday school picnic. To this day, I have yet to forgive my social studies teacher and all of my former classmates who made my life and complete and total living hell. I know we're suppose to love our enemies and forgive them 70 x 7 etc. But quite frankly, I HATE them all with the burning passion of Hell itself. I would love to round them all in a concentration camp and give them a taste of their own medicine (if ya know what I mean) and then dismember their limbs one by one with no anesthetic of any kind, and watch them scream and suffer until they slowly bleed to death. Though I never have and never will condone murder, I do sympathize with most of the kids who started the horrific school shootings we hear about on TV. Most of them were normal good kids who got bullied by punk kids until one day they just couldn't take it anymore, so they snapped and lost it. As a bullying victim, I myself can relate to their endless frustration. I'm sorry to say, but many of the victims of these shootings deserve what happened to them. And yet we wonder why these horrible school shootings have become such an epidemic. It's not because those responsible got hypnotized listening to Marylin Manson or playing violent video games or worshipped Satan. It's because YOU were a big enough *blankety blank* to torture the living hell out of an ordinary who did nothing to you to deserve the ridicule that you enjoy giving to him so much.

 

[Claudya]

To this day, I have yet to forgive my social studies teacher and all of my former classmates who made my life and complete and total living hell. I know we're suppose to love our enemies and forgive them 70 x 7 etc. But quite frankly, I HATE them all with the burning passion of Hell itself. I would love to round them all in a concentration camp and give them a taste of their own medicine (if ya know what I mean) and then dismember their limbs one by one with no anesthetic of any kind, and watch them scream and suffer until they slowly bleed to death.

I like you. :yes
Okay I don't wanna condone hate and vengeance, but I can sympathise with you very well because I've been bullied very bad, too.
So I feel very much at home in the darkness of your words.

To this day I am not able to trust people and build friendship or love, or succeed at a professional carreer. I'm a patient in a psychiatric hospital at the moment.
So I've been fantasising about pursuing vengeance against all those bullies that didn't mind breaking people just because it was fun at that moment. Or those teachers that watched without helping.
I wanted to make those people lose all they have so they will be lonely and broken like I am, or kill them in some imaginative way. Or at least make them suffer.
But I have forced myself to stop thinking about those things, not because I forgave them, but simply because those times are over now and I can't allow them to rule over me. I renounce the curse those bullies have put on me.
Actually I'm way more angry with my parents anyway. They trained me to be weak and submissive.

And I always felt the same way you do about school shootings. I'm actually surprised you are thinking the same way about it I do, because usually people tell me I'm insane and twisted sympathising with killers rather than the victims. People don't understand that the kids going on a killing spree are just relieving and passing back the pain they feel and can't bear any more, and it was everyone else (bullies and bystanders) who put that pain into them.

The worst thing about my own bullying story was that I became a bully myself against other kids that were outsiders and victims... I bullied against them because I wanted to impress the popular kids so they'd stop hurting me.

I wish I could channel my pain and my anger into some constructive work against bullying. No idea how to do that, though...

 

[Eugene]

I do sympathize with most of the kids who started the horrific school shootings we hear about on TV. Most of them were normal good kids who got bullied by punk kids until one day they just couldn't take it anymore, so they snapped and lost it.

I can't say that I sympathize with the cruelty perpetrated upon the innocent due to the actions of bullies. Your statement "Most of them were normal good kids", and that may have been correct to some degree, and I speak of this from the personal testimony of a dear sister in Christ that dated one of the killers at Columbine the weekend prior to their killing twelve students and a teacher.

He was the perfect gentleman, she was invited to meet his parents, and they enjoyed a wonderful date. Now much of his plan had already been put into place with homemade bombs. What happened to these boys and why? We'll probably never know as they committed suicide, but my question would necessarily ask if bullies were at fault, why kill them that had no part in their frustration with the world as it were? Were they now in fact the bully? Hatred is of itself sin, and produces consequence to one infected by it.

You want healing from such torture of soul? I can't rap this; in fact to be blunt I think rap sucks but based on Jeremiah 8:22 there is a balm in Giliad to make the wounded whole, and to heal the sin sick soul (Author uncertain); that balm for every malady is Jesus. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN9JALQRMb0

We can be saved as saved can get, know we have eternal life and going to heaven, and yet not appropriate all the provision provided us in Christ. If you want peace there is a link I have posted that describes something we can do to eradicate our own feelings we can't control; God has to take that from us. May God bless it to you Jahjahwarrior in Jesus' name.

http://www.christianforums.net/showthread.php?t=51380&p=792728&viewfull=1#post792728

 

[Matthew G]

I can sympathize with those who are bullied, but only to an extent. I was bullied several times by several different kids throughout my school career, but only a few times.

Forgive me, because I know we are not to condone violence, but I blame a lot of this bullying epidemic on parents. Not just the parents of the bully,

But seriously. I don't care if you are a single parent, or you do work two jobs, or you do have five kids...you're not doing your job, and your kid bullying others is a symptom of that. Get your crap together and do your job, whatever it takes.

But I also blame the parents of the victims. Since when did we stop teaching our kids how to stand up for themselves? Since when was it not okay to defend themselves?

I'm speaking specifically of physical bullying. If someone wants to run their mouth, big deal. Ignore them or, if you've got a bit of wit about you, just give it back to them. Either way, they'll get tired of it and shut up once they realize it doesn't affect you the way they want it to.

But being a "victim" of physical bullying is just unacceptable. Teach your kids to defend themselves. The reason I said I was only bullied once or twice by those people, was that for some reason I seemed to attract the ones that liked to hit people.

When I was a kid, my father told me something very simple that I have not forgotten to this day. He said, "If you ever start a fight, I will beat you 'til you can't stand straight. But if you ever let someone put their hands on you and just stand there, I'll beat you for that, too."

Yeah, that was kind of a harsh way to put it, but I listened. They hit me, or tried to choke me, or what have you, and I hit them. One time. In the face. And they never bothered me again. As a matter of fact, most of them became friends of mine, and I'm still in contact with a few of them (I graduated high school in 2003). We are still friends. By the time I was a sophomore, no one ever bothered me, because "I'm tellin' you, man, that dude don't play" (a snippet I once overheard). I have never started a fight in my entire life. But I've also never stood there and let someone physically assault me, and neither will my children.

No. Violence does not solve everything. But sometimes, when you are in physical danger, it is the only way to solve it. Even Jesus got a little violent.

"And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;" - John 2:15

The parents of the bullying victims are largely the ones to blame. They're not doing their jobs, either. This entire bullying fiasco going on now makes my head spin. Don't misunderstand me. The fact that we have so many young people taking their own lives, and the lives of others, is a travesty that defies description. But I can't help but wonder, "What would have happened if they had just stood up for themselves? If their parents taught them not to just lay down and take it?"

We as a nation are raising an entire generation that doesn't know how to stand up for themselves, and worse, thinks it's not right to do so. These are the people who will lead our nation going forward, and we are raising them without a backbone.

What would have happened 238 years ago if our forefathers had curled up in a ball, cowered and told Britain, "Yes you can have my money,"?

This nation was founded by men who refused to be bullied. Why are we abandoning that legacy now?


Wow. I didn't mean to turn this into a thesis, but yeah. For what it's worth, there's my two cents.

 

[Vaccine]

I think you're someone I'd like to. It takes a lot of courage to share a story like that, I'm sure it will have in impact. I can see how someone would want to payback a little of what the've received. I hope this isn't to personal, but you know what I see when I look through the bitterness and anger?

I see someone who has a good grip on what faith in christ is about....

If it weren't for my faith in Christ, I would....

[MENTION=91320]Claudya[/MENTION] - I wish I could channel my pain and my anger into some constructive work against bullying. No idea how to do that, though..

I like the way you think, but I'm out of ideas at the moment...

 

[Guest]

[MENTION=96367]jahjahwarrior[/MENTION] that's a cool avatar, :waving

 

[jasoncran]

wow, I thought I was bad when I got mad and ranted. let go, yes bullying hurts. I have been there. the self loathing I have mentioned in part comes from things that I was told about in the past that I have to work out.

 

[jahjahwarrior]

[MENTION=96367]jahjahwarrior[/MENTION] that's a cool avatar, :waving

Thank you!

 

[gr8grace]

Childhood bullying is such an overlooked but yet very serious problem among American youth today which can have major long term consequences and leave lasting scars among victims. I know this because I speak from personal experience. I've been heavily bullied throughout most of my childhood both physically, mentally and verbally. As a result, bitterness, anger and resentment has become one of my biggest struggles as a Christian. I've been physically abused by fellow peers, made fun of for various reasons including having red hair, and I even suffered abuse from the school bus driver and aid from a bus I rode to school. The most rock bottom point of my childhood came in 8th grade when my social studies teacher started a horrible sexual rumor about me (which was untrue) which spread like wildfire in a matter of hours. I will not go into details about it because we are in a Christian forum and I understand many children often read these posts. But I will say that the rumor was bad enough that it would for most people push them over the edge and cause them to commit mass murder and/or suicide. If it weren't for my faith in Christ, I would more than likely have started a school shooting so bad, it would make Columbine look like a sunday school picnic. To this day, I have yet to forgive my social studies teacher and all of my former classmates who made my life and complete and total living hell. I know we're suppose to love our enemies and forgive them 70 x 7 etc. But quite frankly, I HATE them all with the burning passion of Hell itself. I would love to round them all in a concentration camp and give them a taste of their own medicine (if ya know what I mean) and then dismember their limbs one by one with no anesthetic of any kind, and watch them scream and suffer until they slowly bleed to death. Though I never have and never will condone murder, I do sympathize with most of the kids who started the horrific school shootings we hear about on TV. Most of them were normal good kids who got bullied by punk kids until one day they just couldn't take it anymore, so they snapped and lost it. As a bullying victim, I myself can relate to their endless frustration. I'm sorry to say, but many of the victims of these shootings deserve what happened to them. And yet we wonder why these horrible school shootings have become such an epidemic. It's not because those responsible got hypnotized listening to Marylin Manson or playing violent video games or worshipped Satan. It's because YOU were a big enough *blankety blank* to torture the living hell out of an ordinary who did nothing to you to deserve the ridicule that you enjoy giving to him so much.

I say Gird up your loins son. Its your choice to live in the past and let your past rule your life.

Christ was the most heavily "bullied" person on the Planet. How Did He deal with it? He died for those bullies.

there is nothing new under the Sun, millions of people have went through what you have and millions more even worse.

It is our choice to let the past or experience form us or let Christ and the Spirit form us.

take the eye off of self and put it on Christ and you would delete this post.

 

[bigllama]

But I also blame the parents of the victims. Since when did we stop teaching our kids how to stand up for themselves? Since when was it not okay to defend themselves?

But being a "victim" of physical bullying is just unacceptable.

Really? Victim blaming? You're going to blame people for being physically abused? That is disgusting.

No. Violence does not solve everything. But sometimes, when you are in physical danger, it is the only way to solve it. Even Jesus got a little violent.

"And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;" - John 2:15

Sorry, but I really don't see how the example of Jesus overthrowing tables because people had turned the temple into a marketplace justifies retaliating when other people hit you.

Bullies don't normally target those who are going to hit them back. In your case they did, and it's awesome that you could defend yourself and stop them. But most of the time, bullies target people weaker than them. Bullies are cowards, so they're going to pick on the smaller, weaker, and more vulnerable people, who aren't able to defend themselves. Victim blaming is just going to make them feel worse, and they aren't likely to tell anybody or seek help if they know others are just going to blame them for being bullied.

 

[Mountain Man]

Bullying like all forms of injustice happens because of weak cowardly,and in many cases corrupt leadership...it could be stopped but it would take the guts to do it and most in a position to stop it are gutless cowards.....physically abusing people is evil and the wrath of God should be poured out on it by those who's responsibility is it to do so.

 

[Matthew G]

@ bigllama

I'm sorry that you find it disgusting for me to blame people for their own actions. I suppose if I misspell a word, that can be blamed on my pencil?

Sorry, but I really don't see how the example of Jesus overthrowing tables because people had turned the temple into a marketplace justifies retaliating when other people hit you.

I used that as an example to remind people that Jesus was not the 100% pacifist everyone wants to claim He was. When action was called for, He took it. If you're in physical danger, you defend yourself. Period. Parents should teach kids to stand up for themselves. If they don't, they're not doing their job, part of which is protecting their child. But they can't always protect them 24/7, so their kid needs to be able to when necessary.

As I said, violence does not solve every problem. But sometimes it is necessary.

 

[Deborah13]

This nation was founded by men who refused to be bullied. Why are we abandoning that legacy now?

I'm old enough to be your mom so I remember the days that you speak of. My son and my three were taught to defend themselves. At that time schools would find out who did what to whom. No more. If you are involved in a physical altercation of any kind you get expelled from school. It doesn't matter who started the fight. So parents report to the school what their child tells them about being bullied but they don't always say anything.
When my middle daughter heard what some girls planned to do to her hair on freshman slave day, she told me. I by passed the school and went right to one of the mom's. That mom was appalled and she took care of that.
Parents need to communicate because the school is not going to take care of things in an affective manner. If your child is bullied get on the phone to the parents. If they are a problem call the local social services department and the police.

 

[jasoncran]

well this is what I tell Nathan. don't start it but darn sure finish the fight. his mother will back him up on that. its foolish to ask that boys and girls just take punches from anyone.

 

[Eugene]

Didn't Peter carry a sword?
David a slingshot; a man after God's own heart.
Nehemiah said he would lay hands on those coming on the Sabbath.

Doesn't the Second Amendment protect our rights to keep and bear arms?

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/31952727/...tates-young-kids-may-hunt-alone/#.UZmjfqK-r38
In Washington state there is no minimum age for hunting without adult supervision.
“Right now you could have a 6-year-old get a license and hunt bear,†Kohl-Welles said.

Why are we handicapping our children in the face of bullies? A six year old child may never learn the skills to fight off a twelve year old bully, but could learn to pull a trigger. Should the playing field be leveled just as it is with adults? Just think of the peace of no more name calling, pulling pigtails, or teasing. Parents, students, and teachers would surprisingly show respect to one another.

Is this not the supreme win, win solution? What, your kid was shot at school? You should have taught them not to bully!! Some may think children don't have the sense to pack heat; are you raising senseless kids? :help

It's possible home schooling is the cure if you don't live in Tennessee.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...threatened-prosecution-teaching-children.html

There would soon be no bullies, and the following smily might become a reality. :seehearspeak

 

[reba]

School folks talk kids to death talk talk talk talk talk talk

Agree Jason, Deb..... our son was told never start it but if ya hit em hard enough there is no fight...He was not a bully often defended those smaller.