Christian perspective of cosmetic surgery (particularly, hair transplantation)?

[pocketmerlin]

Hey, I'm a new member on here. I actually joined because I wanted to gain perspective from other Christians for this particular question, and while I found threads that are similar, I didn't find any threads that addressed my thoughts specifically.

Essentially, I am dealing with how to view hair transplantation as a Christian. Is choosing to have one done giving into sinful vanity, or is it permissible?

I'm 21 now and have had a receding hair line since I was 17. It's not yet to the point where half of the top of my head is bald yet, but it's very clearly receding and my forehead is huge-looking.

So here's where I'm at. I can't really get around the fact that this has affected how attractive I am to women, and I am looking for someone to pursue with marriage in mind...and let's just say they're not exactly lining up to talk to me (that's an exaggerated image to downplay my current frustration...I don't literally expect women to line up to talk to me). My internal back-and-forth that's driving me crazy starts with the sorts of sentiments that are bandied about in Christendom..."if all they care about is what's on the outside, then they're not who you want to be with anyway"..."your wife will love you for your character, not your appearance" or "you should want to be appreciated for who you are spiritually, not physically" and all sorts of stuff like that. I could cling to that stuff and just say that women who aren't attracted to me simply because of my appearance are shallow...but the other side of this back-and-forth is, well, the fact that those sentiments feel patently naive and essentially dishonest about the true nature of attraction. Of COURSE appearance matters. I feel the weight of this when I'm considering my attraction for women. Both who they are as a person and what they look like play a part in how I feel toward them. So, in fact, if I were being honest, I would completely agree with a lot of the women who have showed no interest in me despite my advances. I wouldn't choose me either if I had other options!

So now I'm thinking about whether it's legitimate to try to do anything about it. How do I reconcile the fact that God clearly meant for us a husband and wife to revel in each others' attractiveness (see Song of Solomon) and wanting to be someone whom a woman would find attractive in that way, with the commands not to focus on the outer appearance and not be vain? I honestly don't know.

The part of me that wants to justify planning on getting a hair transplant sees it this way: hair loss is a disease and it's not something we were meant to have, so getting a hair transplant is essentially the same as any other medical action to correct something that's wrong. It's the same as getting braces to straighten teeth. It's not the same as getting plastic surgery simply because you don't like your face, because not liking your face isn't a disease.

But then, when I examine this closer, it seems like this thinking could end up justifying anything and everything. Because, maybe you could make the case that while one may not have a technical disease that causes them to dislike their facial appearance, the fact is that they have a very large nose or whatever and that would seem to be an effect of The Fall as well (just like hair loss), and then any sort of perceived plainness in appearance is worthy of plastic surgery. And just maybe that is indeed an end this whole thing could logically go to and still not be unbiblical...but it truthfully does seem excessive and vain. And so I don't know what to think.

What do you think? Are thems the breaks, kid? Just suck it up and deal with it until I receive my resurrected body? Or am I free to use the technology that's available?

 

[Classik]

Welcome to CF.net, dude. Elisha didn't bother about his own case, however Wayne Rooney did - (if you know what I mean:D)

The part of me that wants to justify planning on getting a hair transplant sees it this way: hair loss is a disease and it's not something we were meant to have, so getting a hair transplant is essentially the same as any other medical action to correct something that's wrong.

Well said. Now guy, go do the stuff if you have the money. It's not a crime. Besides, have you told God about that??? I strongly believe HE'd permit you. Look like Samson

 

[Eugene]

Hi pocketmerlin and welcome to CF.net. Good question! I believe that if I were born with cleft lip and cleft palate I would want it fixed. If born with only a stump for a leg I would opt for a prosthetic, and if born destined to be naturally ugly with less than a full head of hair I would wear a hair piece if I worried about it. I have seen old women over forty that color their hair and that evidently is accepted by some ugly men; such vanity huh?

An asset to all this may be in the blessing of only being acceptable to ugly women; they make the best wives as the song goes by Jimmy Soul. An option is to become incredibly rich; that will work regardless of how you look.

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her, then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart,
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.

Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch.

Say man.
Hey baby.
I saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's ugly.
Man, she's ugly but she sure can cook, baby.
Yeah? Alright...

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

 

[Obadiah]

It's just a matter of your heart's attitude whether its hair transplant, nose job, breast work, or whatever. It's the reason you are doing it and what you feel God wants you to do. With that said, my take on it is that there is nothing in scripture prohibiting it. That is nothing like one of the 10 commandments or Jesus saying directly you shouldn't have a hair transplant. True, there is a matter of vanity. But you have to be careful not to take that to the point of legalism. If your attitude is that you are going to get your hair transplant even if it means not putting money in the offering plate so you can pay for it, or not doing other things in God's service so you can have hair, then you have a problem. But if you feel no personal conviction from the Holy Spirit telling you not to do it (this is different than feeling convicted just because of what others around you telling you) and getting it isn't going to hurt your ability to serve God, then it's no more vain than wearing nice clothes on a date rather than the pants and T shirt that you just spent 3 days camping in and haven't washed yet. There is no sin in trying to look nice to please those around you.

Is it a sin when your pastor cleans himself up, shaves, combs his hair, and dresses in good clothes to look nice and respectable when he preaches on Sunday morning? Is he being vain? Nope. Neither are you being vain when you try to look pleasing to those around you, including someone who may be your future wife.

 

[Classik]

Hi pocketmerlin and welcome to CF.net. Good question! I believe that if I were born with cleft lip and cleft palate I would want it fixed. If born with only a stump for a leg I would opt for a prosthetic, and if born destined to be naturally ugly with less than a full head of hair I would wear a hair piece if I worried about it. I have seen old women over forty that color their hair and that evidently is accepted by some ugly men; such vanity huh? An asset to all this may be in the blessing of only being acceptable to ugly women; they make the best wives as the song goes by Jimmy Soul. An option is to become incredibly rich; that will work regardless of how you look. If you wanna be happyFor the rest of your life,Never make a pretty woman your wife,So from my personal point of view,Get an ugly girl to marry you. A pretty woman makes her husband look smallAnd very often causes his downfall.As soon as he marries her, then she startsTo do the things that will break his heart,But if you make an ugly woman your wife,You'll be happy for the rest of your life,An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,She'll always give you peace of mind. Don't let your friends sayYou have no taste,Go ahead and marry anyway,Though her face is ugly,Her eyes don't match,Take it from me she's a better catch. Say man.Hey baby.I saw your wife the other day.Yeah?Yeah, she's ugly.Man, she's ugly but she sure can cook, baby.Yeah? Alright... If you wanna be happyFor the rest of your life,Never make a pretty woman your wife,So from my personal point of view,Get an ugly girl to marry you.

heavens!!!

 

[Eugene]

heavens!!!

That made my day brother. :biglol

 

[AirDancer]

From a female perspective, a balding dome is not a drawback in relation to attraction. (What is a drawback is an male who is balding on top, but lets the rest of it grow long enough to pull back into a ponytail.) In my opinion, the saying 'bald is beautiful' can be very true. It does depend upon the personality and inner spirit of the man, tho. An ugly personality won't be helped by anything, hair included. But a genuine, joyful, self-assured personality of a man who loves and serves the Lord ....it doesn't matter if there's hair or no. He'll be attractive to the right woman. And no, this is not a naive sentiment; it's fact.

One of my male cousins graduated from college with just enough fringe around the edges to not be able to claim total baldness. Two months later, he married his college sweetheart (from junior year), and they're been married over 30 years. In his single dating years, if a female didn't give him the time of day, he didn't worry about it. He waited & then dated women who were interested in him.

What is more important, tho, is whether your desire for hair transplant stems from vanity or if it is because of self-esteem issues. There is a difference between the two. If it is because of vanity, then it is sinful. If it is because of self-esteem issues and you fully believe that hair transplants will be a positive for your life, then go for it if you want.

 

[pocketmerlin]

From a female perspective, a balding dome is not a drawback in relation to attraction. (What is a drawback is an male who is balding on top, but lets the rest of it grow long enough to pull back into a ponytail.) In my opinion, the saying 'bald is beautiful' can be very true. It does depend upon the personality and inner spirit of the man, tho. An ugly personality won't be helped by anything, hair included. But a genuine, joyful, self-assured personality of a man who loves and serves the Lord ....it doesn't matter if there's hair or no. He'll be attractive to the right woman. And no, this is not a naive sentiment; it's fact.

One of my male cousins graduated from college with just enough fringe around the edges to not be able to claim total baldness. Two months later, he married his college sweetheart (from junior year), and they're been married over 30 years. In his single dating years, if a female didn't give him the time of day, he didn't worry about it. He waited & then dated women who were interested in him.

What is more important, tho, is whether your desire for hair transplant stems from vanity or if it is because of self-esteem issues. There is a difference between the two. If it is because of vanity, then it is sinful. If it is because of self-esteem issues and you fully believe that hair transplants will be a positive for your life, then go for it if you want.

What would you say is the difference between vanity and self-esteem issues? I feel that I am less attractive for having a receding hair line. I think that if I were to have a hair transplant done I would be more attractive. What determines whether you call that vanity or a lack of self esteem, and why is one worse or better than the other?

 

[AirDancer]

Vanity leads one's ego to be vain, puffed up. Selfish in attitude, self-centered in focus. Scripture has a bit to say about vanity.

Self-esteem is how one accepts one's self with confidence. High self-esteem accepts one's self just as is, imperfections and all. Low self-esteem does not accept one's self as is. If you suffer low self-esteem because of your hair loss, is it because you have been teased and tormented because of the receding hair line? Does the slow erosion of hair prevent you from keeping an active, happy and/or healthy life with friends and family? If not, then further consideration should be evaluated before investing quite a bit of money of painful transplants.

I'm really sorry you feel you are less attractive for having a receding hair line. In time, I'm sure the scientists will figure out a way to 'correct' genetic balding. But in the meanwhile, you're dealing with a situation with which you seek to amend. It is definitely your decision ultimately. From my vantage point in experiences, my recommendation would be to table the decision for a few years. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." There's a young woman out there who will see you & the receding hairline as handsome, and the attraction to you will be there for her. It's just up to you whether you want to wait for her or not.

My prayers are with you as you consider your decision.

 

[Gordon]

I'm going to give you a guys perspective before I give you a Christian perspective. First I don't think your hair is your problem. It's a handicap but it's not what determines if a girl is going to be attracted to you or not. I am hoping you have gone short with what you have or shaved it. What will attract girls is your attitude so if you think it's making you ugly it is making you ugly. I was most attractive to girls when I was sick because I didn't have the energy to worry about stuff like is my hairline making me ugly. You can do a lot with clothes, practice flirting, get experience with girls that will help you much more and be less drastic.

As a Christian I'd say what is your goal? To have an active dating life with many 20 year old girls who can be shallow at that age? To find a wife of good character? Those are very different goals. I'd worry more about developing your own character that would attract a good wife than getting a hair transplant.