[__ Prayer __] chronic shame

[popematthew]

I'm happywhen manic but make a fool of myself and annoy people. When I'm depressed I only want to kill myself but too scared of satan taking me to hell.

I hope and pray that god will move me to a state of grace and take my life. Otherwise I will probably go to hell.

 

[Eugene]

I'm happywhen manic but make a fool of myself and annoy people. When I'm depressed I only want to kill myself but too scared of satan taking me to hell.

I hope and pray that god will move me to a state of grace and take my life. Otherwise I will probably go to hell.

Dear Popematthew, welcome to our Christian fellowship here at CF.net. Have you got any idea why you would want to kill yourself when you're depressed. Have you discussed this with a doctor that may be able to help you with your feeling by prescribing a simple anti-depressant?

In Christ you are in a state of grace, and He is presently working in you to have the life in Him that represents Christ. Stick around and learn all that God has in store for your good. He has given Jesus to die for you, and He isn't done with your life.

I do pray you'll be healed to know our Savior just as He wants you to know Him, and come to have a life that is in God's perfect will for you. May God bless you in Jesus' name.

 

[AirDancer]

You are in my prayers, popematthew .

What meds are you taking to control the mood swings? The desire to off yourself when depressed sounds much like manic-depression (aka: bi-polar). Your doctor would be able to better provide remedy (med adjustment, perhaps; a prescription). Someone I know is manic-depressive, and cuts herself (sometimes seriously) when she doesn't take her meds & gets depressed. The mood swings can be rather alarming.

As Brother Eugene said, our Lord isn't done with you yet. Read & study Scripture, trust and love our Lord completely, and know that you are a special child of God who loves you dearly!

 

[popematthew]

The desire to die is from fear, constant failure, shame, guild, wicked desires, and sometimes just general overall misery. It seems like God does a very poor job of being faithful to His word.

The meds I'm on are Lamictal 200 mg, seroquel 200mg, celexa 40.

 

[Angel]

I've been where you are. Wanting to kill myself. The last time I felt suicidal I saw giant bugs flying around my room.

However, I have made the decision that I WONT give up. I am at the point where I can feel like hell, but after experiencing it for awhile, I get up, dust off my shoulders, and go on with life.

If you believe in Jesus, that he died and rose again, and confess it aloud with your mouth, you will be saved. satan wants you to think God will send you to hell but it's just not true! satan is a liar.

Jesus doesn't want you to take your own life. He wants to bless you, lead you, guide you, be your best friend.
Sometimes we can only live life minute by minute. If it's really difficult, take one breath at a time. Read a book, draw a picture, write in a journal... Keep your mind busy and keep your heart in prayer.

 

[Eugene]

Dear popematthew, your experience is not uncommon to Christians including the Apostle Paul that wrote about it in Romans 7:5:31. When facing his own unrighteousness compared to that of God's laws he said such things as:
Rom 7:10 And the commandment, which was ordained to life, I found to be unto death.
Rom 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.
Rom 7:15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
Rom 7:19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
Rom 7:24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

BUT, he gets to Romans 8:1 looking at everything he said in Romans Chapter Seven, and says "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus." I do hope you come with us as we continue to get into the word of God and apply it to our lives. Angel gave you some good advice. I'm glad to hear you're taking medications for this and pray they find the correct combination.

Blessings in Christ Jesus.

 

[popematthew]

Jesus says that drunkards, perverts, and those who prefer a good over God(Idolators) will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. That is me!

 

[Eugene]

Jesus says that drunkards, perverts, and those who prefer a good over God(Idolators) will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. That is me!

Dear popematthew, have you received Jesus as your personal Savior? If you have, you belong to God, you are no longer those things even though you may continue to fight the old nature we all have to fight, and God sees only Jesus in you that died for your sins. What you describe of your life is something God is working in you to overcome as He works in you to will, and to do of His good pleasure.

If you don't know if you're saved I wrote the following pamphlet for just such occasions. I hope it is of help in your life.
Salvation with Security – 1, 2, 3
http://www.christianforums.net/Fell...ds/salvation-with-security-parts-1-2-3.52236/

 

[Deborah13]

I've been where you are. Wanting to kill myself. The last time I felt suicidal I saw giant bugs flying around my room.

However, I have made the decision that I WONT give up. I am at the point where I can feel like hell, but after experiencing it for awhile, I get up, dust off my shoulders, and go on with life.

If you believe in Jesus, that he died and rose again, and confess it aloud with your mouth, you will be saved. satan wants you to think God will send you to hell but it's just not true! satan is a liar.

Jesus doesn't want you to take your own life. He wants to bless you, lead you, guide you, be your best friend.
Sometimes we can only live life minute by minute. If it's really difficult, take one breath at a time. Read a book, draw a picture, write in a journal... Keep your mind busy and keep your heart in prayer.

Angel, this is an awesome post ! Some of us do our best to help but the one's who can really do that best are people like you. People who understand what someone else is going through.
You are an overcomer ! Praise the Lord, for you. What a blessing you are to all of us.
I am learning from you.

 

[AirDancer]

Our Lord is always faithful and does not lie to us, popematthew . We humans are the ones who have our moments or seasons of unfaithfulness. When you become a member of our Lord's family, your past is simply your past. You are now a new person, imperfect perhaps, but a new person. What areas require correcting in your life, our Lord will work with you to accomplish a stronger, less fearful you. These changes do not always occur instantly.

As a parent, I tell you this: Quit beating yourself up for whatever shortcomings you may see in yourself. Stand up straight, and focus your attention on our Lord. Read & study Scripture, and embrace fully within your heart the fact that our Lord loves and cherishes you dearly.

Be blessed!

Angel, you are such a blessing to each of us! Thank you for being a member of our Lord's family ...and for being a member of our CFnet family!

 

[Christ_empowered]

Try saying the sinner's prayer, if you haven't already. I almost killed myself, once. I was hearing voices and I almost jumped off a bridge. A cop came by and I was taken to a mental hospital...

...anyway, suicide is a no-go. Life is precious, even when its hard. Listen to angel, listen to me, listen to the other posters.

 

[Angel]

Angel, this is an awesome post ! Some of us do our best to help but the one's who can really do that best are people like you. People who understand what someone else is going through.
You are an overcomer ! Praise the Lord, for you. What a blessing you are to all of us.
I am learning from you.

That is very kind of you, Deborah13 . Thanks so much. (hugs)

 

[Angel]

Dear popematthew, have you received Jesus as your personal Savior? If you have, you belong to God, you are no longer those things even though you may continue to fight the old nature we all have to fight, and God sees only Jesus in you that died for your sins. What you describe of your life is something God is working in you to overcome as He works in you to will, and to do of His good pleasure.

If you don't know if you're saved I wrote the following pamphlet for just such occasions. I hope it is of help in your life.
Salvation with Security – 1, 2, 3
http://www.christianforums.net/Fell...ds/salvation-with-security-parts-1-2-3.52236/

Eugene Do you mind if I post a link to this on FB?

 

[Angel]

Our Lord is always faithful and does not lie to us, popematthew . We humans are the ones who have our moments or seasons of unfaithfulness. When you become a member of our Lord's family, your past is simply your past. You are now a new person, imperfect perhaps, but a new person. What areas require correcting in your life, our Lord will work with you to accomplish a stronger, less fearful you. These changes do not always occur instantly.

As a parent, I tell you this: Quit beating yourself up for whatever shortcomings you may see in yourself. Stand up straight, and focus your attention on our Lord. Read & study Scripture, and embrace fully within your heart the fact that our Lord loves and cherishes you dearly.

Be blessed!

Angel, you are such a blessing to each of us! Thank you for being a member of our Lord's family ...and for being a member of our CFnet family!

Thanks AirDancer.
You are so kind to me. I'm not trying to be noticed, but I am blessed by your encouragement.

 

[Angel]

popematthew

There is nothing you can do that will ever separate you from the love of Christ.
You can come to him as you are.
You don't have to put on a show for God.
You can't force change, but you can allow God to change you.
It's hard not to sin. I know. I sin practically every day.
But I keep praying that I will overcome through him.

Still praying for you.
Take care.

 

[Eugene]

Eugene Do you mind if I post a link to this on FB?

I would love it Angel. Thank you.

 

[Angel]

Thanks!

 

[elijah23]

I'm happywhen manic but make a fool of myself and annoy people. When I'm depressed I only want to kill myself but too scared of satan taking me to hell.

I hope and pray that god will move me to a state of grace and take my life. Otherwise I will probably go to hell.

Perhaps you can take control of the situation. Likely there is a lifestyle change the Lord wants you to make. Once that's done, things would get better. You need to pray a lot. Remember Paul's words:

"Pray constantly." 1 Thess 5:17 RSV

 

[reba]

I've been where you are. Wanting to kill myself. The last time I felt suicidal I saw giant bugs flying around my room.

However, I have made the decision that I WONT give up. I am at the point where I can feel like hell, but after experiencing it for awhile, I get up, dust off my shoulders, and go on with life.

If you believe in Jesus, that he died and rose again, and confess it aloud with your mouth, you will be saved. satan wants you to think God will send you to hell but it's just not true! satan is a liar.

Jesus doesn't want you to take your own life. He wants to bless you, lead you, guide you, be your best friend.
Sometimes we can only live life minute by minute. If it's really difficult, take one breath at a time. Read a book, draw a picture, write in a journal... Keep your mind busy and keep your heart in prayer.

Wow see you are an Angel :nod

 

[Angel]

Awwwww
You're so sweet reba - darling!