Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,235
- 10,720
God is Good! Let me just get that out there. I have a clean background check, never been committed to a psych facility, have never been in a state facility, and now...
-ugh- the junk and jibber jabber surrounds me, still. to be fair, there was a time when I could have -easily- gone to prison, but I ended up with a clean background check (long story). so...
people say that 'he needs to move!' and 'they were supposed to be fired from ()!," and...
ugh. basically, my own set of sins, self, and the world...led to my near total destruction, and could have easily dragged my parents down, with me. :-( sad. God came thru for us! --mercy-- and --grace-- , amen.
so, my parents were not fired; about 12 years ago, they were actually both promoted at their jobs. both are now retired, but they need dad in a part time position, so he's doing that, for now. and...and...
did I mention that I operated on by psychiatrists? -creepy- don't be afraid of me, please. I didn't sign up for all that, and believe it or not, it was a private hospital, part of a chain of private hospitals, that either did the procedure or arranged for it to be done (I only know about it because of a brain scan...long story). and...and...
-sigh- my info was -never- kept confidential, my parents and insurance company were -routinely- over-billed, even straight up defrauded, and...I was dead eyed for about 4 years, a broken shell of a human being. from tail end of age 20 to the beginning of age 25...dead eyed. when a light came back into my eyes, staff at a Christian, residential place noticed...and that was the beginning of some -serious- grace from Jesus, amen.
not that I was 110% "victim," as in blameless and sinless, just...doomed, that's all. Now, 15 years after that 1st, dreadful hospital...I do believe The Lord has brought deliverance, and...
I'm taunted and ridiculed, even at my modest, nice place. on the plus side, my parents are -increasingly- good to me, big time. its not just material things, either; its taking me out on errands here and there, having me over for meals, really...well, parental love and care, despite who and what I was, before I got truly saved and before The Lord brought redemption and deliverance. and so...
-sigh- I mean, my older, wiser Christian friend tells me bullies are all mouth, its just...it waxes and wanes, or seems to, and right now...its ebbing upwards, in frequency and intensity. i stopped in a nicer, chain gas station today to buy some stuff...some dude I didn't even know was giving me a hard, almost intimidating stare, then made comments about me to the clerk. whaaaa? well, its happened before, trust me.
I dunno. dad may be done with his job, completely, in 1 year or so...maybe more, maybe less...maybe we'll move, as a family? They've been blessed...and it seems to rub some of these vocal bullies the wrong way. I dunno. I'm not nearly as -afraid- as I was in times not so long ago...'perfect love casteth out all fear,' after all...
but I am kind of nervous, at times, and concerned. I was a wretch, true that, but...this is just ridiculous, and I think a lot of it is because of God's work in my life and my parents' lives (I'm...alive at all, healthy, smart, normal...recovered is the psych buzzword, but its actually impossible to 'recover' from what came before in my existence, barring a miracle), and then my parents...
are --not-- rich, but for local standards they're well to do or...I dunno, "his parents have money now" is what the locals say, and not in the happiest tone, ever...
-shrug- My parents and I have been and are blessed, Praise God. I am not down and out, depressed, its just this creepy sense of...oppression, I guess? Or attempted oppression, better way of phrasing it. I can come and go as I please, I have my own place, I'm healthy and bright eyed and smart and normal, and...and...
All good things come from THE LORD, amen.
so, I dunno. its not an -emergency- , its just...creeping me out, I guess. thanks.
-ugh- the junk and jibber jabber surrounds me, still. to be fair, there was a time when I could have -easily- gone to prison, but I ended up with a clean background check (long story). so...
people say that 'he needs to move!' and 'they were supposed to be fired from ()!," and...
ugh. basically, my own set of sins, self, and the world...led to my near total destruction, and could have easily dragged my parents down, with me. :-( sad. God came thru for us! --mercy-- and --grace-- , amen.
so, my parents were not fired; about 12 years ago, they were actually both promoted at their jobs. both are now retired, but they need dad in a part time position, so he's doing that, for now. and...and...
did I mention that I operated on by psychiatrists? -creepy- don't be afraid of me, please. I didn't sign up for all that, and believe it or not, it was a private hospital, part of a chain of private hospitals, that either did the procedure or arranged for it to be done (I only know about it because of a brain scan...long story). and...and...
-sigh- my info was -never- kept confidential, my parents and insurance company were -routinely- over-billed, even straight up defrauded, and...I was dead eyed for about 4 years, a broken shell of a human being. from tail end of age 20 to the beginning of age 25...dead eyed. when a light came back into my eyes, staff at a Christian, residential place noticed...and that was the beginning of some -serious- grace from Jesus, amen.
not that I was 110% "victim," as in blameless and sinless, just...doomed, that's all. Now, 15 years after that 1st, dreadful hospital...I do believe The Lord has brought deliverance, and...
I'm taunted and ridiculed, even at my modest, nice place. on the plus side, my parents are -increasingly- good to me, big time. its not just material things, either; its taking me out on errands here and there, having me over for meals, really...well, parental love and care, despite who and what I was, before I got truly saved and before The Lord brought redemption and deliverance. and so...
-sigh- I mean, my older, wiser Christian friend tells me bullies are all mouth, its just...it waxes and wanes, or seems to, and right now...its ebbing upwards, in frequency and intensity. i stopped in a nicer, chain gas station today to buy some stuff...some dude I didn't even know was giving me a hard, almost intimidating stare, then made comments about me to the clerk. whaaaa? well, its happened before, trust me.
I dunno. dad may be done with his job, completely, in 1 year or so...maybe more, maybe less...maybe we'll move, as a family? They've been blessed...and it seems to rub some of these vocal bullies the wrong way. I dunno. I'm not nearly as -afraid- as I was in times not so long ago...'perfect love casteth out all fear,' after all...
but I am kind of nervous, at times, and concerned. I was a wretch, true that, but...this is just ridiculous, and I think a lot of it is because of God's work in my life and my parents' lives (I'm...alive at all, healthy, smart, normal...recovered is the psych buzzword, but its actually impossible to 'recover' from what came before in my existence, barring a miracle), and then my parents...
are --not-- rich, but for local standards they're well to do or...I dunno, "his parents have money now" is what the locals say, and not in the happiest tone, ever...
-shrug- My parents and I have been and are blessed, Praise God. I am not down and out, depressed, its just this creepy sense of...oppression, I guess? Or attempted oppression, better way of phrasing it. I can come and go as I please, I have my own place, I'm healthy and bright eyed and smart and normal, and...and...
All good things come from THE LORD, amen.
so, I dunno. its not an -emergency- , its just...creeping me out, I guess. thanks.
