Daffynitions

[reba]

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelors degree
and a woman gains her masters

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read

SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!


OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life

YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth

EXPERIENCE:
The name
given to
Mistakes you've made.

DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!


FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature

BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later

DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!

 

[jasoncran]

I was about to whip out the redneck dictionary.

assassin: to sass, to talk back.

don't stand there assassin me , get to it!

 

[reba]

 

[jasoncran]

soldier: to sell

honey I soldier your mom on ebay for 10 bucks.

my favorite.

 

[jasoncran]

rectum: destroyed, a mess, after an accident

no need for a sentence.

 

[TOG]

Adult:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends,
and is now growing in the middle.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia:
The fear of long words (Seriously. This is a real definition for a real word.)

Lysdexia:
A peech imspediment we live to learn with.

Tomorrow:
One of the greatest labor saving devices available today.

The TOG​

 

[reba]

PERF

 

[TOG]

PERF

You forgot to include a definition

The TOG​

 

[reba]

PERF is the hitch word for perfect

 

[TOG]

I found it on the Urban Dictionary.

Perf:
shortened version of "perfect"
which is mainly used by young girls
who enjoy sounding like Valley Girls.

Is that what you meant?

The TOG​

 

[jasoncran]

fascinate= to tighten, to secure.

my shirt has a nine buttons , so I fascinated it.

 

[TOG]

Romantic:
An ancient insect closely related to the modern tick.

The TOG​

 

[Sparkey]

Let me guess: That tic was first discovered in Rome?

Abundance:
1. Big party held in a bakery

 

[TOG]

Let me guess: That tic was first discovered in Rome?

There is considerable evidence that it was indeed found in Rome.

The TOG​

 

[farouk]

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelors degree
and a woman gains her masters

...and both the man and woman gain their doctorate...

 

[TOG]

Some computer related redneck daffynitions

Chip:
Munchies for when you're watching TV

Microchip:
What's left in the munchie bag when you're finished

Megahertz:
How your head feels after drinking too much beer.

Windows:
What you close when it's cold outside

Modem:
What I did with the weeds in the yard

The TOG​

 

[reba]

 

[farouk]

BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

A good secretary, however, is always on time...

 

[TimothyW]

rectum: destroyed, a mess, after an accident

no need for a sentence.

Rectum?! Darn near Kiltum!

 

[Claudya]

Cannibal:

Someone that is fed up with people.