It's well known human nature to want to do things because we are told we can't do them. The less mature the person (not necessarily in years of age, either) the more this applies. Look at teenage alcoholism. In the US we have laws that teens can't drink, yet we have many problems with teenage alcoholism. Many European countries have no such laws, and drinking isn't considered taboo. Those countries have very few teenage alcohol problems. Go figure. In dealing with young people and dating (and with many older people too) I feel many churches do a dis-service by focusing so much on draconian rules about all the "dont's" instead of on the "do's". This not only manifests itself in strict rules against certain things, but also in veiled rules (You should "avoid" this or that... nothing more than another "don't" disguised as a "do"). There is far too much over-emphasis on the negative side of dating with far to much emphasis on forcing rules and regulations down the throats of others. You would think that dating rules was the only thing God cared about. All this does is unnecessarily create rebellion. Christian dating principles can be taught in a positive way, and then the individual person left to decide for himself whether or not he believes in and will follow the rules.After all God hates all sin. Theft is a sin too. But do our church leaders teach our people that they will go to hell if they ever go into a store without a chaperone to keep them from being tempted to shoplift? Using God's name in vain is a sin, but are people prohibited from talking in private without a chaperone present to make sure they don't use His name in vain while they talk? The list could go on. I know some people will ridicule this, but sin is sin and God hates all of it. Why is there so much emphasis on draconian measures to prevent adultery and fornication, when reality is that many other sins such as shoplifting and using God's name in vain (and many more) are far more common? We just don't realize how common other sins are because we mistakenly think of them as less important or less serious, so we forgive ourselves and move on to forget we ever committed them. Especially with young people, I think we need to quit making such a big deal about over-emphasizing strict dating rules that make them feel that they must be committing some sort of mortal sin just by desiring a mate. We need to focus far more on positive ways to encourage each other to love God and to desire to serve him out of our hearts, even when no one else is looking. Let Joe invite his girlfriend on a group activity because it's fun, not just because he is prohibited by church rules from ever being alone with her for any reason until after they are married! If we would just effectively teach Christian principles and teach WHY they are good to follow, Christians would be no more in danger from the temptation to commit adultery or fornication than we are in danger from the temptation to commit many other sins.
:D
