Funny I was just thinking about lust on my walk through the mountains today. Gotta get out in nature and enjoy the Creation which testifies to the glory of the creator. Not something to be neglected.
I was thinking of lust because I think of Gabriela and the harm I caused. I could also think of two other women especially. I would rather have my heart broken then break other people's hearts, and while my motives may not have been so bad, I cause a lot of pain and damage. I am shamed of myself. I ask for forgiveness and believe I receive it, yet I can't shake the idea of the need for penance or atonement or something. This may not be how grace works but I feel so bad. The story is long
I realized this:
Lust is selfish and is something only for the satisfaction of the self. Here is where any innocent natural "attraction" becomes something much worse- that L word that Jesus condemned. Attraction is probably a good thing- anyway it is a natural thing since we have bodies of flesh and are not pure spirits. It can even be a cause to rejoice in our heterosexuality. However when attraction gets put to selfish ends, co-opted so to speak, it becomes I think evil- a work of the flesh. I am just reading a book on Sex by a christian author and he is telling me that Lust dehumanizes people- not only the lustee but also the luster! I think that is largely why it is a sin. God doesn't make since or give laws
but that they have some purpose or reason- for the sake of peace and health and love- to make heaven on earth. What kind of heaven would we have if everyone was lusting at everyone else (selfishly wanting to use others for their satisfaction- disregarding the person- the entire person). Lust disregards the person- their history, their emotions, their needs. It becomes about mere gratification of the senses- or the ego.
There is often something else I feel. Maybe it is also lust but it is a deeper sort, after I know a person for a long time and begin to admire then and respect them, and see their pain and weakness and I want to connect. This is how it sort of that happened with Gabriela. This is yes probably still lust because it is still selfish (based in delusion). Yes lust creates delusion in the mind of the luster. We begin telling ourselves stories that we wouldn't tell ourselves in other circumstances. However there can also be love or admiration wrapped up in the lust. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can't lust after them (not in the 'desire' sense of the word as in German, but in this selfish sense).
Then there is the beauty type that gives a man heartburn. Some forms of beauty are soothing and cooling, like a tropical breeze at sunset on the beech- a balmy beauty. Other female beauty types are sharp and painful, and give one heartburn, so one (me) is almost tempted to lust as self-defense. What needs to be understood is that these women are still human and do not necessarily intend to cause pain (projection).
What we furthermore must also understand if we are to truly follow Christ's example is that even the most degraded "dirty" prostitute or pimp or whatever, they are still human and a part of humanity and created in God's image, to magnify his glory, and who are we to put ourselves above such people as these? Who are we to be self-righteous and boast about our works and relative righteousness? There but for the grace of God go I must always be on our lips.
In answer to your original question "Why people defend lust" we can only speculate and I don't find any point in doing that. They do it because at that moment they are at war with truth for whatever reason. But why does it matter to you? Why do you want to know why people defend lust, why is it important?
Jesus could never have lusted because he could never have robbed a person of their humanity. I do wonder if he ever felt physical attraction though (which I am sure is not a sin)
Freedom from lust is hard, it is not easy. Maybe I say that because I am single and have had trouble finding a career and wife, which was Paul's advice. Maybe then it would be easier and I can't say I'm not envious of married men with daughters and sons- and I am sure that that envy is a poison. From now on when I feel lust - like 100 times a day- I am going to ask myself if I am being selfish. If I really have a concern for the other person- not just in general but in that moment, regarding that sexual fantasy. Invariably I am sure it will be no. This will be hard to do but with the spirit to help me, with Grace, which is active, maybe I can succeed. Meanwhile I should try to get a wife, but I am not sure how I can do that after I have crashed the car with this other woman