Difficult wives

[Classik]

Some women are naturally difficult. They are like a hair in the eye. And for unlucky husbands who marry these people...should they also try to show their superiority: 'I-am-the-man-of-the-house--and-you-must-submit approach to the situation? Is that necessary? Or should the man remain a puppet just for the sake of peace? I'm currently monitoring 'a' situation.

 

[Zyrenah]

It depends on how the man sees the situations doesn't it? I know people who are drawn to 'difficult' women and they seem happy in that relationship. If someone isn't happy with their 'difficult wife' then perhaps they need to try a different approach and see whether it makes any difference.

I can be difficult if I am feeling stressed etc and I like it when someone stands up to me and takes control, for want of a better word. Perhaps that's it.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Some women are naturally difficult. They are like a hair in the eye. And for unlucky husbands who marry these people...should they also try to show their superiority: 'I-am-the-man-of-the-house--and-you-must-submit approach to the situation? Is that necessary? Or should the man remain a puppet just for the sake of peace? I'm currently monitoring 'a' situation.

Just so we understand, what would the wives submission look like in this situation?

 

[Pizzaguy]

I have been trying to make up my mind about posting something... I dated a lot in my 20s and 30s after my divorce. But I had a disabled son, and never re-married.

Recently, I started seeing a lady from my past. We'd had a great time 15 years ago - we are now in our early 50's. Odd thing is, I had to break it off with her, we were fine on the phone, but when together, she turned into a "slang for a female dog"... CONSTANT snide remarks, disagreeing with me on stuff I KNOW we agree on, acting all irritated by every little thing, answering questions for me while in publice (you know, when someone we meet ask ME a question, she answers or TELLS me how to answer), etc.

This is the second women over 50 to (it seems unconsciously) drive me away.

I just met a girl in her 20's - NOTHING bothers her and she does not complain or pick fights with me.
(Bonus - she tends to turn heads when we go out in public!)

I think I'm done with women my age - life is too short to be around negative people. I'll stay alone or date the young!
Mind you, I'd never marry a girl 25 years younger than me. I WOULD marry someone my age, IF I could find a lady who was not so unhappy-judgemental-angry-negative-etc.

So, someone wanna tell me: What IS it with women over 50?

 

[reba]

50 years of putting up with men

 

[reba]

I see not a thing wrong with age differences. Why not have an older stable man around then a young guy who is trying to prove himself... Why not have a pretty woman on your arm....I have known young men to look to older women for the stability they need ...

 

[Claudya]

Single life = Peace

^ This. :yes

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I have been trying to make up my mind about posting something... I dated a lot in my 20s and 30s after my divorce. But I had a disabled son, and never re-married.

Recently, I started seeing a lady from my past. We'd had a great time 15 years ago - we are now in our early 50's. Odd thing is, I had to break it off with her, we were fine on the phone, but when together, she turned into a "slang for a female dog"... CONSTANT snide remarks, disagreeing with me on stuff I KNOW we agree on, acting all irritated by every little thing, answering questions for me while in publice (you know, when someone we meet ask ME a question, she answers or TELLS me how to answer), etc.

This is the second women over 50 to (it seems unconsciously) drive me away.

I just met a girl in her 20's - NOTHING bothers her and she does not complain or pick fights with me.
(Bonus - she tends to turn heads when we go out in public!)

I think I'm done with women my age - life is too short to be around negative people. I'll stay alone or date the young!
Mind you, I'd never marry a girl 25 years younger than me. I WOULD marry someone my age, IF I could find a lady who was not so unhappy-judgemental-angry-negative-etc.

So, someone wanna tell me: What IS it with women over 50?

[Scene two: Jethro wanders foolishly into a mine field.]

I'm not sure I agree that women with these kinds of problems wait until they are fifty. And the young, fun, good looking gals are probably pretty hard to keep at home, if you know what I mean.

Here's an interesting passage that has always intrigued me:

"27 “Look,” says the Teacher, “this is what I have discovered:

“Adding one thing to another to discover the scheme of things—
28 while I was still searching
but not finding—
I found one [upright] man among a thousand,
but not one [upright] woman among them all." (Ecclesiastes 7:27-28 NIV)

We know that King Solomon lamented the pain of women and marriage in his books. Having had 700 wives and 300 concubines I supposed he was well versed in that struggle, lol. Now some Bible's make the passage above PC and remove any suggestion that there are no righteous women. And who could argue that Solomon is not exaggerating to make his point? But I personally am convinced that women, by virtue of their biology, have special problems to deal with in this life. They're just wired that way by nature. That's not an excuse to not restrain that biology. It helps us understand that women have special problems and difficulties in this life that explains particular behavior in them.

Solomon says the woman "whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains" is more bitter than death (Ecclesiastes 7:26 NIV). Translated that means, "I'd rather die than deal with this." Death being more preferable to what one has to deal with in that situation. And you know what? He is right. If there was anything in this life to make a man 'hate' the world and long for death and being with Christ it is that. That truth makes Paul's counsel about marriage very reasonable and understandable.

We guys got our own problems, and any woman is free to start a thread about that if they want. The point is, we all are victims of fallen flesh and we have a responsibility to overcome the problems that stem from our biological makeup through the power of Christ. But the more our societies move away from the Biblical model for marriage the more woman's biological struggles in particular get excused. Sorry folks, but I calls 'em as I sees them.

[cut to Jethro being blown to smithereens. Pan to his smoking, dismembered head rolling into camera view...but with satisfied, peaceful look on face knowing he has entered into paradise and out of perdition.]

 

[reba]

 

[Obadiah]

One thing I've noticed, at least in the area I live, is that middle aged women that make descent companions are already married (or somehow attached) to a guy who knows how lucky he is and is doing what it takes to be a good husband or boyfriend so as not to not lose her. Any of the good middle aged women that do find themselves unattached don't stay that way for long at all. Of those who are not attached, there is usually a reason guys don't want them (as mentioned above). The good, friendly, descent woman who is unattached by choice but still willing to date is rare and very hard to find. It just seems most of them are just looking for someone to support them financially, help them raise their kids because they now realize how much work that is by themselves, or any number of other material reasons that have nothing to do with proper Biblical reasons to date and marry.

 

[jasoncran]

theres an article I just read on that [MENTION=88699]Jethro Bodine[/MENTION]. its from a child of gay parenting. some of what he said I have faced. but my parents weren't same sex.

 

[Pizzaguy]

I see not a thing wrong with age differences. Why not have an older stable man around then a young guy who is trying to prove himself... Why not have a pretty woman on your arm....I have known young men to look to older women for the stability they need ...

Your posts are always a warm welcome to me here!

 

[Pizzaguy]

Solomon says the woman "whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains" is more bitter than death (Ecclesiastes 7:26 NIV). Translated that means, "I'd rather die than deal with this."

We guys got our own problems, and any woman is free to start a thread about that if they want. The point is, we all are victims of fallen flesh and we have a responsibility to overcome the problems that stem from our biological makeup through the power of Christ. But the more our societies move away from the Biblical model for marriage the more woman's biological struggles in particular get excused. Sorry folks, but I calls 'em as I sees them.

See, this is just it. Twice now in the past three years I have experienced this with two women. But I never encountered this in my 20's or 30's.
One friend of mine in his 60's said to me, about three years ago, "... if a man is to stay married, he has to learn to eat a lot of crap..." He was married to a contentious women for 42 years - not sure how long they were married that they got alone well... Then she died.

He remarried last year. He says the new lady is nothing like his first wife and he has backed down on his statement.

I just want to know IF I can find someone my own age who I can live with. I do not understand how everything has to be viewed in such a negative light.
I do not believe it is right to treat a mate disrespectfully and hurtfully - no matter your gender. And I will stay alone if being married means I have to allow distasteful remarks to fill the air in my own home.

Honestly, in the past two weeks, I have sworn off the idea of re-marriage forever. I treat women very well, but by the same token, I expect the same in return.
If you cant do that, go away.

 

[reba]

Waylon Jennings & Tompall Glaser

Put another log on the fire
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
And go out to the car and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.

Come on baby you can fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers
And boil me up another pot of tea
Then put another log on the fire babe
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday
And don't I warn you when you're gettin' fat
Ain't I a gonna take you fishin' with me someday
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.

Ain't I always nice to your kid sister
Don't I take her driving every night
So sit here at my feet cause I like you when you're sweet
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.

So put another log on the fire...

Read more: http://artists.letssingit.com/waylo...another-log-on-the-fire-w21qbfh#ixzz2YyLTq3dz
LetsSingIt - Your favorite Music Community

 

[farouk]

I wouldn't get too fixated on the young woman thing.

These days, many women aged 50 dress and carry themselves as if they were 30, the 60-year olds as if they were 40, etc.

But it's the maturity that counts, especially the spiritual maturity of a Christian woman.

Blessings.

 

[Tony Hyman]

It seems to me that Christ expects us to really work at "loving the one your with" Crosby Stills Nash and Young.
Matthew 27-31."But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already commited adultry with her in his heart."...
32. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife,exept for marital unfaithfulness ,causes her to become an adultress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultry." Now why would Christ say this? From what I have read in the Bible men could have as many wives and concubines including their slave woman and off-spring as many as they could afford according to the O.T.See Genises Abraham, Isaac , Jacob David and Soloman for example.

But under the New Covernant Christ requires of us to be totally committed no-matter what, and that intails give and take and not the old "My Way" by "Uncle Frankie" as I understand Christ literally in the context of Matthew 27-31.The current trend where easy trade-ins are morally acceptable in conflict with what Christ stipulates are one reason why this world is dragged down with dilinquent ,starved children dependent on welfare draining any national economy; and who never asked to be there in the first place.All this simply because a man and a woman decided it was "cool" at the time when vows such as "till death do us part" were mere sacrimental machanics ,as easy as purchasing a new flatscreen computer or the latest cell phone.I think both uld do well rather work on the 9 qualities of the Fruits of the Spirit as stated in Galations 5:22 love,joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness , faithfulness, gentleness, and self- control.So there we have it no matter what the world says that is what Christ demands of us as believers.No where dose the Bible say that marriage or relationship between two people is always going to be a walk in the park, espesially when dealing with different natural quirks and traits which we all have ,but should work on as stipulted in Galations 5:22.

 

[Obadiah]

Was this thread about unscriptural divorce and adultery? I thought it was just about dating. Maybe I misunderstood something.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

See, this is just it. Twice now in the past three years I have experienced this with two women. But I never encountered this in my 20's or 30's.

Not once? Honestly, I think you were just lucky.

I just want to know IF I can find someone my own age who I can live with. I do not understand how everything has to be viewed in such a negative light.

There's no doubt that there is someone out there for you that understands what the responsibilities of a Christian marital relationship are and is committed to living them out, but looking at it from a purely natural and practical point of view, there's just not many of them, and that's where the pessimism comes in.

The more our society moves away from the Biblical truths of marriage, the harder it's going to be to find women who know about those truths and are committed to them. Even the church has pretty much discarded the traditional Biblical view of the roles of husband and wife in marriage. I've known many otherwise good Christian women, and their husbands, who insist 'submission' (for all that really means), and 'headship' have been replaced with 'equality'.

I do not believe it is right to treat a mate disrespectfully and hurtfully - no matter your gender. And I will stay alone if being married means I have to allow distasteful remarks to fill the air in my own home.

Honestly, in the past two weeks, I have sworn off the idea of re-marriage forever. I treat women very well, but by the same token, I expect the same in return.
If you cant do that, go away.

Nothing wrong with that. It's amazing how wise we get with age and experience, isn't it?

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Was this thread about unscriptural divorce and adultery? I thought it was just about dating. Maybe I misunderstood something.

It's about the unlucky husband who has to deal with a difficult wife.

Should he lower the boom on this gal, or cave in like milk toast?

I know what the right answer is. But it really boils down to what the fellow is, by virtue of his personality, capable of doing.

 

[farouk]

Part of the issue is learning not to have short fuse. Of course, it can be dressed up in a number of alternative ways.