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Divorce is not easy

abide

abide

Member
I have been divorced almost ten years now and have been separated 19 years.

I miss being married and having adult male conversation. Many ask me how do you manage not having a man in your life. It is not easy but with God's help I am where I am today.

A divorce woman can be a lonely woman. Even though you are in the church, your friends who are married seems not to be very close to you. The singles in the church believe that the singles activities are not for you. What can a woman like me do.

I get engrossed in my work during the day. On evenings I work with my craft and read.

I will be telling a lie if I said I am happy as a divorced woman. I am not depressed or angry but being married is better than being divorced. My husband filed for divorce although he was the one who committed adultery over and over.
I love the idea of being married, cuddling my husband and cooking for him.
I love talking about things that are happening in the world, in essence I love being a part of man's life. I am not sure if I will get married again. BUT TO BE HONEST I WOULD LIKE TO (There is a lot of arguments concerning whether a Christian divorced woman can remarry I AM NOT GOING THERE;)

My three sons would like me to be with their father again. So much water has gone under the bridge. I could not find myself involved with him again. Nineteen years is a long time. What made my divorce so painful was that my ex WAS MY FIRST BOYFRIEND. My mother loved him just as she loved her sons.. She died years before our separation...which I now think was a good thing. I thought that we would be married for life...but that was not to be. For those who are married keep Christ as the centre of your marriage.

There are many temptations for the divorced Christian woman, but unless she is grounded in the word of God and has Christ as the centre of her life she can easily fall prey to the men (sometimes Christian men) who think she is vulnerable and an easy target. I have had to tell married men who seem to think that I am available that I am not interested in anything but a pure life.

For those who are married please remember the single/divorced women. Life can be difficult at times. I have learned a lot of lessons since my divorce. The main one is that I must love God first and foremost.

Have a great day everyone.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
abide said:
I will be telling a lie if I said I am happy as a divorced woman.
Click to expand...


It's funny, when I go out on dates with women who are divorced, most of them tell me how happy they are to be divorced. They almost always say they love being "free" and being able to do whatever they want and not have to answer to anyone.

Hearing them say that is always depressing. All I can think is, "Why are we even dating?"
 
joethemechanic said:
It's funny, when I go out on dates with women who are divorced, most of them tell me how happy they are to be divorced. They almost always say they love being "free" and being able to do whatever they want and not have to answer to anyone.

Hearing them say that is always depressing. All I can think is, "Why are we even dating?"
Click to expand...

What are you saying, that she should feel "tied down" and never be allowed individual freedom?

Try being as carefree and happy as they are. Two people as such will stand a much better chance of working out. Bitterness is a major turn-off for most people.
 
DarkHorseRising said:
What are you saying, that she should feel "tied down" and never be allowed individual freedom?

Try being as carefree and happy as they are. Two people as such will stand a much better chance of working out. Bitterness is a major turn-off for most people.
Click to expand...

I hope noone misunderstood what I wrote. I am lonely as a divorced woman but not alone As I said I would prefer to be married than to be divorce. Since my divorce I have been able to establish a craft business that I had plans for years ago. I have been able to do lots of other things that I enjoy doing. I have friends and family. My point was that I missed the intimacy that marriage brings. Being divorce is kind of like living a different life.

Divorce brings with it a certain amount of freedom, but any woman who is honest would say that when they got married they never had plans of being divorced.
 
abide said:
I have been divorced almost ten years now and have been separated 19 years.

I miss being married and having adult male conversation. Many ask me how do you manage not having a man in your life. It is not easy but with God's help I am where I am today.

A divorce woman can be a lonely woman. Even though you are in the church, your friends who are married seems not to be very close to you. The singles in the church believe that the singles activities are not for you. What can a woman like me do.

I get engrossed in my work during the day. On evenings I work with my craft and read.

I will be telling a lie if I said I am happy as a divorced woman. I am not depressed or angry but being married is better than being divorced. My husband filed for divorce although he was the one who committed adultery over and over.
I love the idea of being married, cuddling my husband and cooking for him.
I love talking about things that are happening in the world, in essence I love being a part of man's life. I am not sure if I will get married again. BUT TO BE HONEST I WOULD LIKE TO (There is a lot of arguments concerning whether a Christian divorced woman can remarry I AM NOT GOING THERE;)

My three sons would like me to be with their father again. So much water has gone under the bridge. I could not find myself involved with him again. Nineteen years is a long time. What made my divorce so painful was that my ex WAS MY FIRST BOYFRIEND. My mother loved him just as she loved her sons.. She died years before our separation...which I now think was a good thing. I thought that we would be married for life...but that was not to be. For those who are married keep Christ as the centre of your marriage.

There are many temptations for the divorced Christian woman, but unless she is grounded in the word of God and has Christ as the centre of her life she can easily fall prey to the men (sometimes Christian men) who think she is vulnerable and an easy target. I have had to tell married men who seem to think that I am available that I am not interested in anything but a pure life.

For those who are married please remember the single/divorced women. Life can be difficult at times. I have learned a lot of lessons since my divorce. The main one is that I must love God first and foremost.
Click to expand...
im working to save my marriage , i prefer not be here. i have seen what divorce and also single parenting does. im raising a boy and a girl. the mother is involved but nathan needs a man not a woman to teach him.
Have a great day everyone.
 
hey abide. Your strength and faith impress me. Joyce Meyers (not my favorite speaker/Christian teacher, but...sometimes insightful) says that hard times can "make you bitter, or make you better," and I think you've probably gotten better. I don't know what decision you'll make regarding remarriage, but I'm sure you'll keep the Lord at the center of your decision making process and come to a good decision. Personally, I think that as long as God is guiding you, you won't go wrong.
 
That was well written, and just about everything written about the divorced woman, I can say about my divorced self. Most of what you wrote in the OP, I could have written about being a divorced man.

I have a "love/hate" thing for being single. I largely like it, but sometimes I wish "she" was here...

Anyway, I've had three dates with a co-worker in the past six weeks. Things are going well... we'll see. :)
 
DarkHorseRising said:
What are you saying, that she should feel "tied down" and never be allowed individual freedom?

Try being as carefree and happy as they are. Two people as such will stand a much better chance of working out. Bitterness is a major turn-off for most people.
Click to expand...

I'm just curious, when you are dating a girl and she says something like this,,,,

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be.
Click to expand...

Do you read anything between the lines?
 
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