Okay Deborah, you asked for it so you got it.
I will attempt to contribute some useful notes that I took in a theology class on Christianity and Morality on contemporary issues like homosexuality, euthanasia, abortion, and marriage, divorce & remarriage taught by Dr. Graham Cole which really helped me think through these issues and what the Scripture says in a thorough manner. I will relate some of my notes on marriage, divorce, and remarriage here. To understand any grounds for divorce you must naturally understand marriage first, so I will start with my notes there.
Marriage as Creation Ordinance:
Marriage is a creation ordinance in Scripture, meaning it was from the very beginning and not some later social/cultural ordinance. Marriage is creation good, though singleness has its own vocation.
Interestingly, if two people were married while both were unbelievers and one of them eventually believes while the other does not, the marriage may still yet be fantastic because it is a creation ordinance and an institution made by God which He blesses. Consult Paul's words on the believing spouse not leaving the unbelieving one also.
In the words of a contemporary voice wanting to redefine marriage Gary Bouma (Manash University) said: "The old definition of marriage no longer applies. It is no longer about procreation, but is about companionship". A redefining of marriage has extended to homosexuality, polygamy, and polyamority (marriage pairs).
The traditional Western view on marriage has been of one flesh union between male and female, but in contractual terms and not covenantal terms.
For Jesus two "becoming one flesh" is a foundational doctrine. Dr. Cole says this is called a "control belief" on which you base other beliefs. The term "control belief" was coined by Nicholas Wolterstorff.
Views on sex: "To Corinthianize" in the ancient world meant to commit sexual immorality. Paul says prostitution, paying money for sex, is wrong. Sex outside of the institution of marriage is likewise wrong.
Marriage as Covenant:
The Bible depicts marriage as a covenant relationship.
Proverbs 2:16-17 (NKJV):
"To deliver you from the immoral woman,
From the seductress who flatters with her words,
Who forsakes the companion of her youth,
And forgets the covenant of her God."
Malachi 2:14 (NKJV):
"Yet you say, “For what reason?”
Because the Lord has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant."
Covenants are usually public affairs.
Dr Cole's Outline for marriage talking points:
A. Marriage in Biblical Perspective
- Heterosexual gender is a divine creation
- Heterosexual marriage is a divine institution
- Heterosexual fidelity is the divine intention
- Biblical marriage involves a public acknowledgement
- Biblical marriage involves a permanent sealing
- Biblical marriage involves a physical consummation [my note: this becomes important later as a possible ground for separation if not divorce in the OT]
Divorce:
The Latin
divortium is behind "divorce" and means separation.
Three possibilities/views on divorce:
- No divorce, only separation (of bed and board)
- Divorce but no remarriage (possibly further: until the ex-spouse dies)
- Divorce and Remarriage
On the grounds of adultery Jesus permits divorce.
Deuteronomy 24 reveals divine permission for divorce but
not divine intention. They are realities in a fallen world. Divorce & remarriage were simply a social reality in ancient Israel, even in their wilderness wanderings before settling in the promised land, and were not just "theoretical situations" to be addressed by the law.
Note on the translation in
Deuteronomy 24:1 where it says "it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes": the words "finds no favor" is a difficult translation attempt for a rather puzzling phrase in the Hebrew that literally reads "
a thing of nakedness". Its meaning and connotations are not entirely clear.
Dr. Cole then points out another Hebrew scripture which he says hardly any scholars ever discuss in relation to divorce and remarriage:
Exodus 21:7-11.
“And if a man sells his daughter to be a female slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do. 8 If she does not please her master, who has betrothed her to himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no right to sell her to a foreign people, since he has dealt deceitfully with her. 9 And if he has betrothed her to his son, he shall deal with her according to the custom of daughters. 10 If he takes another wife, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, and her marriage rights. 11 And if he does not do these three for her, then she shall go out free, without paying money."
This scripture here depicts three rights of a slave bride. Dr. Cole says
"marital (marriage) rights" = sexual relations. Thus if the man takes a second wife but keeps his slave wife he is bound to still provide her with food and clothing (he cannot abuse her by denying her livelihood - since women were not the bread winners back then) and to provide her with occasional marital sexual intercourse. The Bible suggests that
if any three of these are violated "she shall go out free" and be divorced from him.
Dr. Cole says of the social situation described here, that if a female is sold as a female slave because of debt, and the master marries her she is actually liable to become the mistress of the whole home, with sons and daughters and a rightful inheritance. Although such a relationship may have originated as indentured servitude (and as such the law of indentured servants eventually being released, under normal circumstances, applies) initially in order to pay off a temporal debt, they may yet get married and
genuine love may ensue. It is just a different path to legitimate marriage. This scripture is to clarify that a bride married in such a way is to in no way be treated less favorably than any other wife in a marriage.
Question: Is God so against divorce that he would never sanction it?
No, He is not. God himself divorced Israel (Jeremiah 3:6-10) , so He cannot be wholly against the very idea of divorce!
Big question:
What does Malachi 2:16 really say?
Dr. Cole shocked most of the class by saying that the Bible does not actually have the reading of God saying "I hate divorce", and by that he meant that a well-attested alternate reading is adopted in certain Bible translations.
Firstly, Dr. Cole says that
the Hebrew in the Masoretic text is very difficult here in Malachi 2:16. As an example of the different English translations of that verse the KJV reads "he hates putting away" , the NASB "I hate divorce", and the ESV "The man who hates his wife and divorces her". The KJV correctly has the third person "he" instead of the personal pronoun "I" as in the NASB. But a majority reading in almost all other readings of that verse outside of the Masoretic Hebrew Text (a later Hebrew text) read differently. The ESV picks up on an earlier reading of "he hates
and divorces" and expands on it for translational clarity. This is the same essential phrase used in
Deuteronomy 24:3 "and the latter
man hath hated her, and written for her a writing of
divorce" (Young's Literal Translation), and the terminology of hating the wife used in
Deuteronomy 22:13, 16.
Differing with the Masortetic Text's reading, the Greek Septuagint (LXX), Dead Sea Scrolls (earlier Hebrew texts), and the Targums all make it plain that it is talking about if
the man hates his wife and divorces her on that ground alone he "covers his garment with violence" (is throwing her out of home and livelihood on no justifiable grounds - thus "violence"). The man thus would be divorcing only on grounds of hate or feeling, which God says is covering his garment with violence (thus is wrongdoing). So the emphasis on what God is saying is shifted in that reading. The Brenton translation of the Greek Septuagint (LXX) of that passage seems to show that: "
But if thou shouldest hate thy wife and put her away, saith the Lord God of Israel, then ungodliness shall cover thy thoughts, saith the Lord Almighty: therefore take ye heed to your spirit, and forsake them not." The NIV and ESV translation take their queue from the LXX, Dead Sea Scrolls, and other versions and render similar to Brenton's translation. The Latin Vulgate also agrees with the LXX on Malachi 2:16. The Jewish Babylonian Talmud has the same reading too.
So Malachi may not be such a solid proof text for saying that God hates and will not tolerate divorce. Rather the emphasis seems to be on the injustice of a man hating and divorcing his wife on those grounds alone, which is like violence (tossing her out of livelihood in a society that stigmatizes divorce thus decreasing her chances of ever being married again - which was a matter of life and death in the ancient world - a lone woman with difficulty could provide for herself - thus it is conceived of as 'violence' to her to do so).
Dr. Cole said that some scholars believe that Malachi 2:16 meaning that God hates divorce would not make sense in light of God's permissiveness of divorce in Deuteronomy 24 and Jeremiah 3:6-10 where even God divorces his people (which is not to say He loves it).
I also note that Nehemiah commanded, by God, the people who had married foreign wives to divorce them - and they obeyed.
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