They exist and it both breaks my heart and worries me.
Bible studies take on different aspects over time. Initially people who have had a genuine experience of meeting God in Christ in their heart want to know everything about him. I probably read the Bible from cover to cover half a dozen times in the first year after I was saved. Every spare minute I had was immersed in the book. It was like my life's blood, internally. Oh, and the quest to "not sin." Not a single thought. I've heard this described as the honeymoon period and I think that's an accurate statement.
You quickly find out however that every sect has it's own particular constructs of what that all means. And you likewise find out that believers are not kind to each others in these variations. In fact they are quite entirely downright nasty, and could not hate another believer any more than they do in these differences. And that's what breaks our hearts. But then you likewise quickly find out in return that you don't agree with them either. Then you have to decide what position you hold in the matters of disagreements and "how" you want to view the people who see differently.
It breaks my heart because the church is not unified in its belief. This causes fractions within the church and the world can see it. Furthermore it breaks my heart because we have a tendency to rough ride shot over those in the church who do not agree with our thoughts.
After the above general course you may eventually find out that divisions in the churches are also Divine Actions. Even differences from believer to believer. The fact is that exactly no two people see things identically. And why should they? We are all quite uniquely individuals, with no two alike.
In the early church they had differences of opinion but it seems to me they came to a unified belief.
That never happened. I believe the pattern of what I might term "idealism" is set forth therein. But in our own individual or even collective power we are still not able to come to identical sights because of our uniquely subjective plantings. Eventually you learn to look only to our Maker, what I might term "The Object and Objective" of our faith and stop trying to find Him in the viewers, seekers and doctrines.
God does not exist in any individual or collective doctrinal boxes. Do I think that doctrines are worthless? No. There are important lines of understandings to show us where we err. I have a great deal of respect for the deliberations that went on in the early churches in the formation of the Nicene creed for example, and consider that a "universal" standard that must be adhered to for proper or right understanding. But disagree with "how" it's used when trying to eternally condemn other believers over variations in sights. In this way the hand me down understandings are not necessarily faulted in the constructs, but in how they are used to bludgeon other believers. We do not do ourselves any internal favors by taking that inside ourselves. Doctrines are not God.
I have for the last couple of years been trying to break away from my indoctrination and have spent many many hours reading the bible, seeking the context, the issues that caused the apostles to write their letters
Ultimately what you'll find is that if we want to be accurate ourselves, we should understand that every believer sees only in part and as through glass darkly. No doctrine can alleviate that fact. Were I to construct a doctrinal set this fact would be very near the top of the mandatory understanding requirements.
I consider that anyone who thinks they see Perfectly and demand that others see only like they do are in fact quite religiously deluded and usually entirely deceived. I tend to steer clear of such people. My life has been better because of that avoidance, because sooner or later there will be a confrontation. As much as I respect and adhere to the Nicene creed for example I do disagree with how some people use it as a justification for themselves and an internal denigration to other believers, BOTH of whom may very well hold the same creed as their standard.
I have to be honest at times it's done my head in and times it's released my done in mind.
So now I am fairly comfortable with some things and some things not (so i would not give my opinions on those I'm not so sure about)
What worries me?
Now please note I'm not looking for a rebuff of what I beleive unless it's totally not biblical.
Firstly I beleive that is a person confesses with their mouth that Jesus is the Son of God who died and rose again is saved, I do not believe baptism saves, I do not believe works save, I beleive those that struggle with addiction yet cannot overcome it are saved. Those are some of the things I believe and as I said at the moment not looking for correction.
What I cannot get and fathom is what happens when we stand before God on judgement day.
We will all be found "wanting" and that's a good thing.
So you believe baptism saves and I don't. One of us is wrong
What then?
The foundation of "true" Christianity sometimes gets lost. We have the need of Gods Mercy in Christ precisely because we are planted in certain extremely adverse conditions that can not be moved or changed in this present life. These conditions are very hard to own up to, personally, honestly.
I hold to a simple standard, and the lowest possible bar I can see in the scriptures. That if a person calls upon Jesus to save them, they are saved. That's the end of it for me. That standard has removed the need for adverse eternal judgment to another believer regardless of their particulars. Whatever religious games they play from there are just that. I will NOT allow eternal damnation to root itself in my heart. That is actually the OPPOSITE or OPPOSING sight that Jesus has given. None of us are able to sit in that seat nor do I want to nor am I even interested. This eventually caused me to have a need to find out what to do with those scriptures. And the easy answer is, apply them where they are shown to belong, on the devil and his messengers.
When any believer sees that our own sins are demonic, (1 John 3:8) they'll understand that eternal damnation strikes pretty close to home. A lot closer than the majority are comfortable handling or used to hearing. I apply these scriptures
"personally." And happily!
