Does God really have someone for everyone?

[FallenSoldier]

Let me start off by saying this world, or America mostly, is way too much about love and happiness and marriage and bla bla bla... That's all I hear about anymore. Love songs on the radio, my boyfriend this my girlfriend that, boo hoo nobody loves me I'm alone forever. Now I'm not being mean or pointing fingers, but you have to admit, its true. I'm more ranting really, in the nicest way possible. My point here is that yes man-woman love is a great thing, but too many people are engorging human love and ignoring spiritual love. The world is seeking worldly pleasures before God. "Seek first the kingdom of God" Matthew 6:33 (a simplified version)

Anyways, let me get to the main point. Recently, I haven't really cared for love. And I'm 22 years old. From what I've seen, this is the point in everyone's life where boyfriends and girlfriends and love is all that matters. For me, its the opposite. It's kind of sad actually, as I don't care for human interaction, making friends, finding a girlfriend (I'm a guy) whatever whatever. In a way, I don't understand why people thrive for such a thing. I actually prefer to be alone, because people seem to annoy me more than entertain me. And sorry about this one ladies, but my theory is that ALL girls are completely crazy. To make a very long story short, I was in a recent relationship for 2 and a half years with what I thought to be my future wife. I mean I loved this girl to death, and I still do in a way. She was the one every guy wants. Caring, beautiful (thin and blonde), and incredibly smart. She was always there for me. But after a while we started towards a downward slope. She was less caring, almost to a point where she had to be ignoring me. When your in love with someone, you don't forget much about them. Well, she missed two of my birthdays. Everything she did annoyed me. So we broke up, and I've never been the same since. We tried to be friends, but everything she did annoyed me even worse. So I broke it off completely, and now we don't talk anymore. I think I will always hold a deep love for this girl, but I do not feel the need for new love. (Now I can't blame her entirely for everything, as I wasn't the best either. But I was still ALWAYS there for her. And as an important side note, sex before marriage absolutely positively destroys relationships. So don't do it! I think that's a major factor of what went wrong, but that is not exactly my point of all this.)

I don't want to ever get married really. I don't exactly like kids so I don't want to have any, and all the relationships I see in my life are in denial or just horrible in general. Since I see poor examples, that doesn't exactly make someone want that. So I just don't. Now that we're all entirely confused, including me, here is the main point of the main point. All of this has me thinking, does God really intend for everyone to be married, and does he really have a spouse out there for everyone? Or are some people just truly meant to be single?

 

[Chopper]

Let me start off by saying this world, or America mostly, is way too much about love and happiness and marriage and bla bla bla... That's all I hear about anymore. Love songs on the radio, my boyfriend this my girlfriend that, boo hoo nobody loves me I'm alone forever. Now I'm not being mean or pointing fingers, but you have to admit, its true. I'm more ranting really, in the nicest way possible. My point here is that yes man-woman love is a great thing, but too many people are engorging human love and ignoring spiritual love. The world is seeking worldly pleasures before God. "Seek first the kingdom of God" Matthew 6:33 (a simplified version)

Anyways, let me get to the main point. Recently, I haven't really cared for love. And I'm 22 years old. From what I've seen, this is the point in everyone's life where boyfriends and girlfriends and love is all that matters. For me, its the opposite. It's kind of sad actually, as I don't care for human interaction, making friends, finding a girlfriend (I'm a guy) whatever whatever. In a way, I don't understand why people thrive for such a thing. I actually prefer to be alone, because people seem to annoy me more than entertain me. And sorry about this one ladies, but my theory is that ALL girls are completely crazy. To make a very long story short, I was in a recent relationship for 2 and a half years with what I thought to be my future wife. I mean I loved this girl to death, and I still do in a way. She was the one every guy wants. Caring, beautiful (thin and blonde), and incredibly smart. She was always there for me. But after a while we started towards a downward slope. She was less caring, almost to a point where she had to be ignoring me. When your in love with someone, you don't forget much about them. Well, she missed two of my birthdays. Everything she did annoyed me. So we broke up, and I've never been the same since. We tried to be friends, but everything she did annoyed me even worse. So I broke it off completely, and now we don't talk anymore. I think I will always hold a deep love for this girl, but I do not feel the need for new love. (Now I can't blame her entirely for everything, as I wasn't the best either. But I was still ALWAYS there for her. And as an important side note, sex before marriage absolutely positively destroys relationships. So don't do it! I think that's a major factor of what went wrong, but that is not exactly my point of all this.)

I don't want to ever get married really. I don't exactly like kids so I don't want to have any, and all the relationships I see in my life are in denial or just horrible in general. Since I see poor examples, that doesn't exactly make someone want that. So I just don't. Now that we're all entirely confused, including me, here is the main point of the main point. All of this has me thinking, does God really intend for everyone to be married, and does he really have a spouse out there for everyone? Or are some people just truly meant to be single?

Hello there soldier, Wow, quite a hard life at times, I feel bad for you and will pray for things to "pick up my soldier friend". 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 has a lot of good info regarding some of your future plans. I like verse 38 "So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better". The Chapter also talks about spending a lot of time with the Lord when you're single as compared with being married and having that time divided with a wife. Hang in there friend, Jesus know what you need and if you let Him, He will order your steps.

 

[Matthew G]

I am not a believer in "soul mates" or "one true love" or however you want to put it. If it was that simple, marriage wouldn't be as hard as it is. But I do believe God can and does bring people into our lives, and if that leads to marriage, it is His will that the marriage succeed.

Marriage does not exist to make us happy, but to make us holy. It's not called "Happy Matrimony". Furthermore, the Word tells us it is better (for some of us) not to marry.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (emphasis mine) - "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn."

This is the "holy, not happy" part I was talking about. It's hard to worry only about the things of God when you also have to worry about the things of your spouse.

God has a plan for all of us. For some, that includes marriage. For others, it doesn't.

So there's nothing wrong with the way you feel about not wanting marriage. I would just encourage you, considering you wish to avoid marriage, that you are also careful to guard your heart and mind to avoid lusting.

Bottom line - If you don't feel led to marry, then don't. It might not be in the cards God is dealing to you.

 

[FallenSoldier]

Thanks for the replies. I know God made woman for man because of loneliness. But its weird, loneliness is all I've ever really known, so I've grown to like it. It's sad because I'm used to people rejecting me. Walking away to go with the "cooler" kids. This is the kind of society we live in today. It's pathetic. I don't want to date because I feel I would be unable to restrain myself from sexual immorality long enough to hold off until marriage. And even if I did, I'd probably end up wanting to kill them (joking of course) in our older crazier age. Plus I have an extreme wondering eye and wild imagination. In simpler words, I struggle pretty bad in lustful manners. I believe I still have a post in the Christian advice section explaining this in greater depth.

 

[TOG]

Now that we're all entirely confused, including me, here is the main point of the main point. All of this has me thinking, does God really intend for everyone to be married, and does he really have a spouse out there for everyone? Or are some people just truly meant to be single?

Since there are more men than women of marrying age in the world (102 men for each 100 women), there will never be someone for everyone unless they legalize polyandry. That ratio might not seem very big, but remember how many people there are. There are over 69 million more men than women in the world.

The TOG

 

[farouk]

I am not a believer in "soul mates" or "one true love" or however you want to put it. If it was that simple, marriage wouldn't be as hard as it is. But I do believe God can and does bring people into our lives, and if that leads to marriage, it is His will that the marriage succeed.

Marriage does not exist to make us happy, but to make us holy. It's not called "Happy Matrimony". Furthermore, the Word tells us it is better (for some of us) not to marry.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (emphasis mine) - "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn."

This is the "holy, not happy" part I was talking about. It's hard to worry only about the things of God when you also have to worry about the things of your spouse.

God has a plan for all of us. For some, that includes marriage. For others, it doesn't.

So there's nothing wrong with the way you feel about not wanting marriage. I would just encourage you, considering you wish to avoid marriage, that you are also careful to guard your heart and mind to avoid lusting.

Bottom line - If you don't feel led to marry, then don't. It might not be in the cards God is dealing to you.

Some sensible comments.

My wife and I happen to be soul mates, but people should never feel obliged or pressured to make this life-long commitment.

 

[Obadiah]

It's always good to try as hard as we can to look at what in our own personalities may have played a part in the failure of a relationship as well as what shapes our attitudes. Have you ever stopped to put yourself in your ex-girlfrind's shoes to try to figure out what may have been her conc4erns that caused her to drift away from a relationship with you? Considering your following statements, it just might be that you really aren't cut out for marriage or long term male.female relationships:

...I haven't really cared for love. ...I don't care for human interaction, making friends, finding a girlfriend ... I actually prefer to be alone, because people seem to annoy me ... ALL girls are completely crazy. ..
I don't want to ever get married ... I don't exactly like kids so I don't want to have any...

However on the other hand, you are still at an age where you are developing your personality, so just because you feel this way now at 22 doesn't mean you always will. There's no reason to feel pressured to be in a relationship of some kind just because you are in your early 20's. If I were you I would focus prayers on asking God to show you areas of your life and attitudes He would like you to change and ask him for help in that. It could be that some of the way you feel is not what He wants for you and he will help you change or, like Paul, maybe you are meant for a lifetime of celibacy. It doesn't really sound like that's the case with you, but you never know.

 

[FallenSoldier]

So I think I've come to an honest and true conclusion in all of this. The mind of a young adult really, really sucks. Lol. Thanks for the replies...it helps a lot.

 

[Nathanael Chong]

God does not have someone for everyone. There are those who God intends to remain single. However, if someone is to be married, there will be someone for him/her.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Not being sure why you have taken the screen name, FallenSoldier, I might be all wet, assuming will do that, but, here I go.

When I left the field of Battle, I also ETSed and the Army, literally, put a Stone Dead Killer on the streets among the Civilians and I made a mess of my life for better than twenty years. A large number of the Killer Spades exited the Service and did the same to their lives.

The short and sweet answer to your question is no. But it is not that simple. I was married 3 times before I was saved and was single when that happened to me and I was absolutely, not, looking for another wife nor did I want another girl friend, I was not good at marriage. All three of the wives divorced me, even though I did not cheat, even once.

I am, however, married to a Christian Wife, daughter of a Deacon, that has done so much to ground me in the faith and because both of us look to Jesus first, we did our 22nd last month and though we argue, neither of us strikes the other and we are both, often, repenting.

We did not build our relationship on sex and as a result, we love one another, ferociously. Because medical problems, neither of us can do the nasty thing, as my niece calls it, any more and since that has fallen completely out of our lives, our love has grown so very, very, much.

You, from your telling of your story, have an issue "you" need to address. My wife does not complete me! It is not a requirement that she remember every detail to make me happy.

What makes me happy is making her happy. I have learned that giving to others is happiness to the extreme and after Salvation, I can find nothing any more important than to obey God and He has commanded us to be generous.

I know that the first three divorced me because I, in my sleep, scream out commands like "Get in the hole before they blow your ------- head off." That and because of where I have been and because of what I have done, I'm not the easiest man in the world to get along with. If I'm r4ight in my assumption, you, like me, are not every girl's Teddy Bear either.

When I was on stage, all the girls loved me until they tried to get close because I was so strange, a result of killing to many men and because I had air lifted to many young men with their guts carried in their sweat rags to the hospital.

I was turned, completely, off to romance because of my failures in that area and I has bought into the Hollywood Lie about romance but my LORD was not done with me in that area yet and He brought my Deeter along side and she believes that if divorce is in the offing, it is best administered via Smith and Wesson. Having done it in court, I agree. (Makes one think long and hard about cheating... no?)

 

[Claudya]

The idea that God has someone for everyone has no foundation in the Bible. In most instances when the Bible is talking about marriage it implies a choice the humans made and God added His blessing to their commitment.
If you feel singleness is your path then God will not force a marriage upon you. Paul praises singleness as the way to go, although speaking respectfully about marriage as well.
But some of what you wrote sounds a bit like you are relinquishing your need for a mate because of your recent disappointment and for fear of rejection. People that fear rejection or heartbreaks may be so scared they find all kinds of excuses to avoid bonding. That's not a call to singleness.

 

[LeaningOnChrist]

I think that we can marry whomever we want as long as they're a believer and of the opposite sex (sad I have to say that these days lol) and there isn't necessarily a "person" for us. BUT it is our responsibility to protect that persons heart. So if you dont think you want to do that there is nothing wrong with remaining single at ALL.

 

[Eugene]

I think that we can marry whomever we want as long as they're a believer and of the opposite sex (sad I have to say that these days lol) and there isn't necessarily a "person" for us. BUT it is our responsibility to protect that persons heart. So if you don't think you want to do that there is nothing wrong with remaining single at ALL.

Your testimony backed by truth of scripture. It doesn't get get much better than that Jared.
1 Cor 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
1 Cor 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

 

[His_nee (Jeff)]

Deuteronomy 22:28-29
New International Version (NIV)


28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.


Isaiah 55:8-9
New International Version (NIV)

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts..

 

[His_nee (Jeff)]

even more revealing, what God says in the New Testament(GOOD NEWS and not so good too). it is not just a man and wife who become one flesh when they know each other , 'Biblically'. God's Judgment is very specific and very strict.
1 Corinthians 6:16 (KJ21) | In Context | Whole Chapter
16 What? Know ye not that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? “For two,” saith He, “shall be one flesh.”

1 Corinthians 6:12-17 (PHILLIPS)

12-17 As a Christian I may do anything, but that does not mean that everything is good for me. I may do everything, but I must not be a slave of anything. Food was meant for the stomach and the stomach for food; but God has no permanent purpose for either. But you cannot say that our physical body was made for sexual promiscuity; it was made for God, and God is the answer to our deepest longings. The God who raised the Lord from the dead will also raise us mortal men by his power. Have you realized the almost incredible fact that your bodies are integral parts of Christ himself? Am I then to take parts of Christ and join them to a prostitute? Never! Don’t you realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute he makes with her a physical unity? For God says, ‘the two shall be one flesh’. On the other hand the man who joins himself to God is one with him in spirit.

 

[ironmonk]

Let me start off by saying this world, or America mostly, is way too much about love and happiness and marriage and bla bla bla... That's all I hear about anymore. Love songs on the radio, my boyfriend this my girlfriend that, boo hoo nobody loves me I'm alone forever. Now I'm not being mean or pointing fingers, but you have to admit, its true. I'm more ranting really, in the nicest way possible. My point here is that yes man-woman love is a great thing, but too many people are engorging human love and ignoring spiritual love. The world is seeking worldly pleasures before God. "Seek first the kingdom of God" Matthew 6:33 (a simplified version)

Anyways, let me get to the main point. Recently, I haven't really cared for love. And I'm 22 years old. From what I've seen, this is the point in everyone's life where boyfriends and girlfriends and love is all that matters. For me, its the opposite. It's kind of sad actually, as I don't care for human interaction, making friends, finding a girlfriend (I'm a guy) whatever whatever. In a way, I don't understand why people thrive for such a thing. I actually prefer to be alone, because people seem to annoy me more than entertain me. And sorry about this one ladies, but my theory is that ALL girls are completely crazy. To make a very long story short, I was in a recent relationship for 2 and a half years with what I thought to be my future wife. I mean I loved this girl to death, and I still do in a way. She was the one every guy wants. Caring, beautiful (thin and blonde), and incredibly smart. She was always there for me. But after a while we started towards a downward slope. She was less caring, almost to a point where she had to be ignoring me. When your in love with someone, you don't forget much about them. Well, she missed two of my birthdays. Everything she did annoyed me. So we broke up, and I've never been the same since. We tried to be friends, but everything she did annoyed me even worse. So I broke it off completely, and now we don't talk anymore. I think I will always hold a deep love for this girl, but I do not feel the need for new love. (Now I can't blame her entirely for everything, as I wasn't the best either. But I was still ALWAYS there for her. And as an important side note, sex before marriage absolutely positively destroys relationships. So don't do it! I think that's a major factor of what went wrong, but that is not exactly my point of all this.)

I don't want to ever get married really. I don't exactly like kids so I don't want to have any, and all the relationships I see in my life are in denial or just horrible in general. Since I see poor examples, that doesn't exactly make someone want that. So I just don't. Now that we're all entirely confused, including me, here is the main point of the main point. All of this has me thinking, does God really intend for everyone to be married, and does he really have a spouse out there for everyone? Or are some people just truly meant to be single?

Yes if your a mormon, but your not a mormon so you get to choose.

 

[~Lexy~]

FallenSoldier I know it can be very difficult after a long relationship to look at love among couples in the same way. I spent 7 years with a man (granted now & then we would have "breaks" for a month or two after a bad fight but we always got back together) and I was sure that he & I would always be together. The last two years of our relationship ran smoothly & the final year we were engaged. (Note: we started dating when we were 17, thus our relationship ended when we were 24) I was willing to put up with him not always treating me the best but when he was willing to put my son (from another man) in danger, health-wise, I was no longer able to turn a blind eye. Walking away from him was the hardest thing I had ever had to do & it broke my heart. Afterward, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with men period. However, God has a funny way of changing our mind. After staying single for 3 years God brought a man into my life that had been through an abusive relationship with his ex-wife threatening his life, a rough past of addictions, and God helping him out of it all with a heart of gold and one of the kindest souls I've ever met. At first I was still resistant and tried to avoid allowing myself to care about him in a romantic way at all (everything in my mind with my past told me to fight it and stay at a distance) but with our exposure to each other at church, ending up working together and then me having a feeling he needed a friend to listen to him (after he had moved 7 hrs from his home to live in a new town) even if nothing more came of it, after a few months our feelings grew & God changed my mind & opened my heart.

I wrote all of that to say, you may be at a point where you just need some time for you and God. Only He knows what He has in the future for you and it may not be what you expect. Just keep your heart open to Him and He will guide you. Whether that path brings a new love into your life or not, you have to be willing to listen to Him and don't let yourself become hard-hearted so that you can't hear Him when He speaks to you. Hope this helps. God bless.

 

[His_nee (Jeff)]

Let me start off by saying this world, or America mostly, is way too much about love and happiness and marriage and bla bla bla... That's all I hear about anymore. Love songs on the radio, my boyfriend this my girlfriend that, boo hoo nobody loves me I'm alone forever. Now I'm not being mean or pointing fingers, but you have to admit, its true. I'm more ranting really, in the nicest way possible. My point here is that yes man-woman love is a great thing, but too many people are engorging human love and ignoring spiritual love. The world is seeking worldly pleasures before God. "Seek first the kingdom of God" Matthew 6:33 (a simplified version)
.............. Since I see poor examples, that doesn't exactly make someone want that. So I just don't. Now that we're all entirely confused, including me, here is the main point of the main point. All of this has me thinking, does God really intend for everyone to be married, and does he really have a spouse out there for everyone? Or are some people just truly meant to be single?

most people, as well as yourself, only see poor examples. good examples are like rare gold and very hard to find.
no, not all people have a mate chosen by God for them. some people are single for life, God's choice, and they either accept it or they don't accept it.
some people remain single for the sake of the Gospel, as they can devote more time and energy and effort to God's Work for their life then and not be concerned with the things a married man has to be concerned with.
a lot of people, married and single, disobey God. this is the world's norm. it hasn't changed since sodom and gomorrah, or since the flood. (it is getting WORSE, if you want to see what has 'changed' though).......
even in groups, people don't get taught to "seek first the kingdom of God" Matthew 6:33 (any version, not just simplified).
they do get taught to believe what their group tells them, and to seek what their group tells them to seek, and that THAT NOW IS the kingdom of God. that way each group can try to keep and increase it's membership. also, that way, sin is dealt with by denying it instead of the awful mess of repenting of it ----- to actually repent of all their sin, why, that's almost unthinkable ! (and besides, they know that they are forgiven of all their sin because .... ... ... well, that's what they're taught, so they don't have to deal with their sin or change their life or repent to God to live His Way).

http://www.k9safesearch.com/search.jsp?q=some+people+marry++site:biblegateway.com&v=w&r=g
(some people marry, some don't, some why's, some do's and don'ts)

 

[DRS81]

I don't want to ever get married really. I don't exactly like kids so I don't want to have any..

Hi FS. I know what you mean. America sure does glorify marriage and children in the church, even if you're not a part of a church. At the end of the day, it is your choice to remain single. I don't think soul mates is biblical. I'm 33 and single, and I love it. Also, never let society or family pressure you into something you don't want to do. Keep in mind that everyone is different, and your views might change as you get older and more set in your ways. Best wishes on your journey. These are also some good books on topic..

Celebrating the Single Life by Susan Annette Muto
Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance by Ellen L. Walker